Hans
Hans is a Gondalian-Kevinian politician, Famous Media Personality, tycoonist, and ex-dreamsexual, who came to relevance during Gondal: From The Ashes and Holy Gondal Empire, but was in both the original Kevinia and Summer Gondal. He served in most roles of the Gondalian government in G:FTA, famously accepting the role as President of the server after the Trollmaster coup to implement more accepting policies. He also used to be a prominent member of r/dreamgender and Dreamsexuals United until both servers were eventually nuked.
 Artist is Mezmacko on Tumblr | |
| User info | |
|---|---|
| Discord tag | xcriticalhans |
| Discord ID | 855711345235197952 |
| Servers | Holy Gondal Empire, Gondal: From The Ashes, Kevinia, NBA ALL STARS (formerly), Hans Tank Brigade (formerly), Red Cup Conspiracy, r/dreamgender (formerly), Dreamsexuals United (formerly) |
| Reddit name | u/MrWoozieHans |
| Also known as | xCriticalHans, CriticalHans, Prime Minister of Kevinia, Dreamgender Supersoldier |
| IRL info | |
| Age | 19 |
| Gender | Male |
| Gaming | |
| Steam | https://steamcommunity.com/id/criticalhans/ |
The Beginning (April - July 2021)[edit | edit source]
After getting out of a long-term relationship, Hans was looking to expand his social circle and find other people who shared common interests with him. He joined multiple small servers to find new people to hang out with, but it never truly clicked. Eventually, he would come across a certain individual named Everr, with whom he formed a close bond after meeting him off of the Yggdrasil bot's userphone feature. Together, they trolled in and messed with a server filled with 14-year-olds who were all in some sort of uncanny polygamous relationship with each other. Hans also decided to invite one of his own friends that had a nuke bot to that server in hopes of getting it deleted for their weird behavior. His friend would go on to nuke the entire server by deleting and making new channels that were all called "bhops-in-and-cums". Throughout the chaos, he also met Lily, who was affiliated with the Gondal lore, and invited him to Summer Gondal. Although Hans never really talked in Gondal servers, he would still play a small part in each one until he participated in a bigger role during Gondal: From The Ashes.
NBA ALL STARS[edit | edit source]
Originally intended to be a private server between his irl friends, Hans would end up inviting Everr and some of his new friends that he met off of Summer Gondal and r/dreamgender to the server for it to become more active. The server would undergo various changes, including making themes for the server by changing the icon & name of the server, renaming everyone to fit the theme, and inviting new bots that seemed interesting and appealing to server members. Although the server would go by many names, most people recognize it as "NBA ALL STARS" because of it being basketball-themed and everyone being named after the NBA's greatest players of all time . On October 15th, 2021, Hans's account was deleted by Discord, meaning that the server lost its ownership since he was unable to transfer it to his alt account, and had to be archived.
Hans Tank Brigade[edit | edit source]
Since Hans lost his ownership to NBA ALL STARS, he decided to create a new server called "Hans Tank Brigade" in order to give his friends a new place to talk in. Not many significant things happened, however the main attraction of the server was a fun currency bot called "TacoBot" that many members would enjoy using. Conflict would soon arise after Hans offered to give people owner if they invited more people since the server started dying. This would backfire though, because many members started arguing with each other and begging Hans to give them owner. Most of the channels would then get deleted by Lily since she had admin perms and was mad that Hans wouldn't let her ban people. The server was then archived as a result, and many of his friends decided to stick with talking in group chats instead, leading to the creation of Hans GC a few months later.
r/dreamgender (July - December 2021)[edit | edit source]
For context, being a dreamsexual/dreamgender is a satirical sexuality and gender where people show their love and desire for the popular Minecraft YouTuber Dream. This was during a time where many people were obsessed with watching Dream's content that stans would go out of their way to devote their entire lives to him. There has also been controversies surrounding this fake sexuality where it has been considered offensive to the LGBTQ+ community. This is not Hans' intention though, because all he wanted to do was troll people into believing he was extremely obsessed with Dream, despite never actually watching any of his videos.
Joining r/dreamgender[edit | edit source]
When Hans first joined the server, he couldn't tell if the people there were being ironic or not. To test the waters, he started talking about how Dream is the best speed runner ever and that he would "do anything to meet with him." To his surprise, most members, and even some of the staff members, started agreeing with what Hans was saying and then proceeded to share their satirical fantasies about the popular YouTuber. Hans felt like he fit right in with this server, so he started baiting new people that would join the server into believing he was just some kid that was weirdly obsessed with Dream. Those who couldn't sense the satire took the bait, got enraged by what Hans was saying, and ended up being ridiculed by him, which is what Hans believed to be the start of his irony career. He would go on to meet several other individuals from this server, such as Dakota, Piro, Mikanyal, NuIlified, Invalid, and many more.
The Death of Hans' Original Account[edit | edit source]
On the night of September 14th, 2021, Hans and his great pal NuIlified were pretending that they were 9 years old as a joke to mess with people that despised Dream. One such user that went by the name "Symp" was having enough of their mischief by calling them a bunch of nazis and started to argue with both of them. He would then report their messages that stated they were underage to Discord's Trust & Safety Team because Hans and NuIlified were completely unaware that it was against Discord's ToS. The next morning, both of them woke up to find out their accounts were disabled. Although Discord would not give NuIlified a reason to why his account was disabled, Hans would receive an email that stated nobody under the age of 13 was allowed on the platform, despite Hans being 16 years old at the time. He proceeded to send an appeal to verify that he isn't underage, but it seemed to have gone nowhere since Discord never sent a response back. A month passed with no word from Discord and his account, alongside NuIlified's account, would be deleted, which would also soft lock him out his own server "NBA ALL STARS" since he no longer had ownership. Hans would then move to his alt account and call it his main from now on. REST IN PEACE Hans#6596 (September 1st, 2017 - October 15th, 2021).
The YouTube Video Incident[edit | edit source]
Hans and his friends (NuIlified, Dakota, and Lily) were having a normal conversation with each other in the server until two new members joined, "tommysmp" and "Ranboomylove <3". They initially appeared to be typical trolls, exhibiting common dreamsexual/dreamgender behaviors such as one of them asking, "Who do you guys stan??" Unfortunately they wouldn't go too far as they ended up getting muted by an automod for saying "tommyinnit", which was one of the blacklisted words in the server. Hans and the others didn't really think anything of what just happened and went back to talking to each other. A month later, one of the server members would inform Dakota that there was ANOTHER YouTube video made about the server. As it turns out, the people behind the two mysterious accounts would be a semi-famous Australian YouTuber known as Glider Guy and his friend Dacept. They made a collaboration video together titled, "I Went UNDERCOVER In A Dream Stan Discord Server And Got Banned..." to infiltrate multiple dreamsexual/dreamgender servers while disguised as Dream stans to see what the people in those servers were like. The video would gain almost 2 million views and 87k+ likes, making it Glider Guy's third most popular video on his channel. Hans would be featured in their video under the alias "Dreamgender Supersoldier" and was featured from 3:15 to 5:07.
Gondal: From The Ashes (April - June 2024)[edit | edit source]
Hans joined Gondal: From The Ashes from his friend Trollmaster through Hans GC, being the first Kevinian to do so around the time many new people joined the server. Although Hans held the position of vice president during Trollmaster's presidency, he would eventually become the president after Trollmaster was couped and voted out by the Gondalian council, with Everr serving as his vice president. Hans was also the leader of the Gondalian Nationalist Party (GNP), where he implemented policies such as Gondalian equal rights, monitoring of Gondalian politicans, bot/AI rights, Gondalian Imperialism, and strict newgen immigration. He also pledged to find many inspirational ways for Gondal: From The Ashes to increase it's member count and to make the server more active.