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Hans is a Gondalian-Kevinian politician, Famous Media Personality, tycoonist, and ex-dreamsexual, who came to relevance during Gondal: From The Ashes and Holy Gondal Empire, but was in both the original Kevinia and Summer Gondal. He served in most roles of the Gondalian government in G:FTA after the Trollmaster coup and Holy Gondal Empire, famously accepting the role as President of both servers to implement more accepting policies. He also used to be a prominent member of r/dreamgender and Dreamsexuals United until both servers were eventually nuked.

Hans
Artist is Mezmacko on Tumblr
User info
Discord tagxcriticalhans
Discord ID855711345235197952
ServersHoly Gondal Empire, Gondal: From The Ashes (formerly), Kevinia, NBA ALL STARS (formerly), Hans Tank Brigade (formerly), Red Cup Conspiracy, r/dreamgender (formerly), Dreamsexuals United (formerly)
Reddit nameu/MrWoozieHans
Also known asxCriticalHans, CriticalHans, Dreamgender Supersoldier
IRL info
Age19
GenderMale
Gaming
Steamhttps://steamcommunity.com/id/criticalhans/

The Beginning (April - July 2021)[edit | edit source]

After getting out of a long-term relationship, Hans was looking to expand his social circle and find other people who shared common interests with him. He joined multiple small servers to find new people to hang out with, but it never truly clicked. Eventually, he would come across a certain individual named Everr, with whom he formed a close bond after meeting him off of the Yggdrasil bot's userphone feature. Together, they trolled in and messed with a server filled with 14-year-olds who were all in some sort of uncanny polygamous relationship with each other. Hans also decided to invite one of his own friends that had a nuke bot to that server in hopes of getting it deleted for their weird behavior. His friend would go on to nuke the entire server by deleting and making new channels that were all called "bhops-in-and-cums". Throughout the chaos, he also met Lily, who was affiliated with the Gondal lore, and invited him to Summer Gondal. Although Hans never really talked in Gondal servers, he would still play a small part in each one until he participated in a bigger role during Gondal: From The Ashes.

NBA ALL STARS[edit | edit source]

Originally intended to be a private server between his irl friends, Hans would end up inviting Everr and some of his new friends that he met off of Summer Gondal and r/dreamgender to the server for it to become more active. The server would undergo various changes, including making themes for the server by changing the icon & name of the server, renaming everyone to fit the theme, and inviting new bots that seemed interesting and appealing to server members. Although the server would go by many names, most people recognize it as "NBA ALL STARS" because of it being basketball-themed and everyone being named after the NBA's greatest players of all time . On October 15th, 2021, Hans's account was deleted by Discord, meaning that the server lost its ownership since he was unable to transfer it to his alt account, and had to be archived.

Hans Tank Brigade[edit | edit source]

Since Hans lost his ownership to NBA ALL STARS, he created a new server called "Hans Tank Brigade" to give his friends a new place to talk in. Not many significant things happened, however the main attraction of the server was a fun currency bot called "TacoBot" that many members would enjoy using. Conflict would soon arise after Hans offered to give people owner if they invited more people since the server started dying. This would backfire though, because many members started arguing with each other and begging Hans to give them owner. Most of the channels would then get deleted by Lily since she had admin perms and was mad that Hans wouldn't let her ban people. The server was then archived as a result, and many of his friends decided to stick with talking in group chats instead, leading to the creation of Hans GC a few months later.

r/dreamgender (July - December 2021)[edit | edit source]

For context, being a dreamsexual/dreamgender is a satirical sexuality and gender where people show their love and desire for the popular Minecraft YouTuber Dream. This was during a time where many people were obsessed with watching Dream's content that stans would go out of their way to devote their entire lives to him. There has also been controversies surrounding this fake sexuality where it has been considered offensive to the LGBTQ+ community. This is not Hans' intention though, because all he wanted to do was troll people into believing he was extremely obsessed with Dream, despite never actually watching any of his videos.

r/dreamgender in it's former glory days

Joining r/dreamgender[edit | edit source]

When Hans first joined the server, he couldn't tell if the people there were being ironic or not. To test the waters, he started talking about how Dream is the best speed runner ever and that he would "do anything to meet with him." To his surprise, most members, and even some of the staff members, started agreeing with what Hans was saying and then proceeded to share their satirical fantasies about the popular YouTuber. Hans felt like he fit right in with this server, so he started baiting new people that would join the server into believing he was just some kid that was weirdly obsessed with Dream. Those who couldn't sense the satire took the bait, got enraged by what Hans was saying, and ended up being ridiculed by him, which is what Hans believed to be the start of his irony career. He would go on to meet several other individuals from this server, such as Dakota, Piro, Mikanyal, NuIlified, Invalid, and many more.

The Death of Hans' Original Account[edit | edit source]

On the night of September 14th, 2021, Hans and his great pal NuIlified were pretending that they were 9 years old as a joke to mess with people that despised Dream. One such user that went by the name "Symp" was having enough of their mischief by calling them a bunch of nazis and started to argue with both of them. He would then report their messages that stated they were underage to Discord's Trust & Safety Team because Hans and NuIlified were completely unaware that it was against Discord's ToS. The next morning, both of them woke up to find out their accounts were disabled. Although Discord would not give NuIlified a reason to why his account was disabled, Hans would receive an email that stated nobody under the age of 13 was allowed on the platform, despite Hans being 16 years old at the time. He proceeded to send an appeal to verify that he isn't underage, but it seemed to have gone nowhere since Discord never sent a response back. A month passed with no word from Discord and his account, alongside NuIlified's account, would be deleted, which would also soft lock him out his own server "NBA ALL STARS" since he no longer had ownership. Hans would then move to his alt account and call it his main from now on. REST IN PEACE Hans#6596 (September 1st, 2017 - October 15th, 2021).

The YouTube Video Incident[edit | edit source]

Hans and his friends (NuIlified, Dakota, and Lily) were having a normal conversation with each other in the server until two new members joined, "tommysmp" and "Ranboomylove <3". They initially appeared to be typical trolls, exhibiting common dreamsexual/dreamgender behaviors such as one of them asking, "Who do you guys stan??" Unfortunately they wouldn't go too far as they ended up getting muted by an automod for saying "tommyinnit", which was one of the blacklisted words in the server. Hans and the others didn't really think anything of what just happened and went back to talking to each other. A month later, one of the server members would inform Dakota that there was ANOTHER YouTube video made about the server. As it turns out, the people behind the two mysterious accounts would be a semi-famous Australian YouTuber known as Glider Guy and his friend Dacept. They made a collaboration video together titled, "I Went UNDERCOVER In A Dream Stan Discord Server And Got Banned..." to infiltrate multiple dreamsexual/dreamgender servers while disguised as Dream stans to see what the people in those servers were like. The video would gain almost 2 million views and 87k+ likes, making it Glider Guy's third most popular video on his channel. Hans would be featured in their video under the alias "Dreamgender Supersoldier" and was featured from 3:15 to 5:07.

Gondal: From The Ashes (April - June 2024)[edit | edit source]

Hans joined Gondal: From The Ashes from his friend Trollmaster through Hans GC, being the first Kevinian to do so around the time many new people were joining the server. Although Hans held the position of Vice President during Trollmaster's presidency, he eventually became the president after Trollmaster was couped and voted out by the Gondalian council, with Everr serving as Hans' vice president. Hans was also the leader of the Gondalian Nationalist Party (GNP), where he implemented policies such as Gondalian equal rights, monitoring of Gondalian politicans, bot/AI rights, Gondalian Imperialism, and strict newgen immigration. He also pledged to find many inspirational ways for Gondal: From The Ashes to increase it's member count and to make the server more active. Many people were satisfied with his new reforms, but would unfortunately lose the next elections due to it being rigged by Wry, a prominent member of the Federal Troll Agency that many Gondalians heavily disliked.

During Wry's presidency, Gondal: From The Ashes became very inactive because nobody liked the fact that Wry was president and other people from the Federal Troll Agency were in charge. All of the active members, including Hans, moved to Kevinia temporarily since there was a planned revolution that was waiting to happen to overthrow Wry. However, there was still some resistance within G:FTA that was already making moves, which Hans and his friends were a part of. His friend Piro somehow had perms and decided to give them to both Hans and Everr so they can start messing around. Hans started deleting almost every single message that was made by Wry and other FTA members, changing the season 4 role "Federal Intervention" to "Federal TYRANNY!", and giving all the political roles perms that could kick and timeout people so that other people could also resist. Unfortunately, despite it being 3 in the morning when all of this was unfolding, Wry noticed what was happening and took away their perms. He also tried muting Hans for "ruining his jokes", but Hans was still able to bypass it because he kept getting unmuted by Everr.

Gondal: From The Ashes ended up getting nuked by Trollmaster because he wanted his own way of liberating the server from Wry's tyranny by kicking almost everyone. The server then died for some time, but got revived when it was announced that the server was going to turn into a Minecraft themed server and being renamed to "Gondalcraft", since Heckknok wanted to make a Minecraft server. Hans was granted his President role back since he would've been the real winner of the last election. Although he wasn't planning on running in the next election, Hans did what he could with the last few days of his presidency by just moderating. He also helped Heckknok choose what mods were going to be used for the Minecraft server, where he chose some cool weapon mods and a survival mod that made the game even harder.

Holy Gondal Empire (July 2024 - Present Day)[edit | edit source]

After Gondal: From The Ashes got shut down and archived due to the server getting raided by pedophiles, a new server would emerge that combined both Kevinia, G:FTA, and Red Cup Conspiracy together, creating what is known as the Holy Gondal Empire. Hans was one of the first members to join and was even given perms to help set the server up. For a while, Hans just ran as a Council member with not so many perms, but something he could work with for most of the time. After the 8/4/24 Incident, he was given the "Ogulonical" role, which had every single perm, by Ara's friend Ignas to help rebuild the server since it was nuked.

Political Actions[edit | edit source]

Gondal politics returned in the Holy Gondal Empire, but it didn't seem like it wasn't as big as it used to be in previous Gondal servers since many newgens weren't taking it seriously. Everr wanted political wars to happen, so he urged Hans to return to Gondal politics and to campaign for presidency because he believed that Hans would be successful as he was in Gondal: From The Ashes.

The Third Presidential Election[edit | edit source]

Hans created his own political party called the Organization of Free Nations (OFN), which is based off of a fictional faction from the alt-history Hearts of Iron 4 mod called The New Order: Last Days of Europe. His policies that he was campaigning for were similar to those when he was president in Gondal: From The Ashes, where he promised rights for all Gondalians, Gondal imperialism, and to protect the server from Gondal's enemies.

Hans' main political opponent was Sigma Rizzus of TEH EPIC PARTY (TEP) who was campaigning for expanding Gondal past Discord by bringing it onto new platforms. Political drama was starting to brew up as Sigma Rizzus criticized the OFN for wanting to monitor Gondalian politicians and that it was mostly led by higher ups, while Hans criticized the TEP by predicting that Sigma Rizzus wants to nuke the server. Hans started making propaganda advocating for OFN rule, while Sigma Rizzus was focusing on other things like making a website for Gondal that ended up going nowhere. Both of them agreed to debate each other in VC, but it never ended up happening since Sigma Rizzus pointed out the time that was scheduled for the debate was later in the day for him and that he "didn't feel like" joining. Hans' prediction about Sigma Rizzus turned out to be true when he tried to manually nuke the server. Although the damages that were made were minimal, with two bots getting kicked and Eiche getting banned for no reason, Sigma Rizzus was temporarily banned and his political party was shut down.

A new political party soon emerged that was called the Joker Party (JP), which was led by Gabeolo. Both the Joker Party and the OFN started clashing with each other when Hans generated an AI image of the Joker saying "VOTE FOR OFN!". However, a deal was made between Hans and Gabeolo to cease all criticism of each other and to merge the two parties together, but it never happened since it was not recognized Everr since he was the one running the elections and didn't know it was happening.

When the elections finally began, Hans was able to hang onto most votes compared to other political parties, although there was an attempted rigging by a very mischievous person. In the end, Hans and the OFN ended up winning the Third Presidential Election and was inaugurated as the Gondalian president.