User:WalterWhiteOnWiki: Difference between revisions
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=== The Birth of girard === | === The Birth of girard === | ||
[[File:Girardfirstwords.png|thumb|girard's first words]] | [[File:Girardfirstwords.png|thumb|girard's first words]] | ||
5 months in. | 5 months in. The server is barely online, and '''Meme Alt''' is trying to find ways to revive it. Then a wonderful idea comes to his head. He gives birth to '''girard''', a genai chatbot that learns from servers' messages. His first words were notable for being the funniest shit ever, and he was quickly accepted into a community despite our differences between humans and chatbots. | ||
=== Mahmoud the Village Dweller === | |||
=== The Expulsion of Waias === | === The Expulsion of Waias === | ||
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=== The Butthole Bandit === | === The Butthole Bandit === | ||
Disaster strikes when one least expects it. On September 17, '''Lin''' rejoined the server after a short absence<ref group="editor's note">'''Missing Context.'''</ref>, surprised to see how much the server has grown over the course of a single day, attributed to '''Sam'''<nowiki/>'s recent server promotion on the '''r/IkeaFreshBalls''' subreddit. The conversation otherwise unremarkable, chaos ensued as attention quickly shifted to a '''butthole reaction''' under one of the earlier messages, disappearing after less than a full second. Even though it was just a few messages pointing it out at first, emboldened by the newfound attention, the '''terrorist''' soon reacted to another message. From that moment on, widespread panic and hysteria completely took over. | Disaster strikes when one least expects it. On September 17, '''Lin''' rejoined the server after a short absence<ref group="editor's note">'''Missing Context.'''</ref>, surprised to see how much the server has grown over the course of a single day, attributed to '''Sam'''<nowiki/>'s recent server promotion on the '''r/IkeaFreshBalls''' subreddit. The conversation otherwise unremarkable, chaos ensued as attention quickly shifted to a '''butthole reaction''' under one of the earlier messages, disappearing after less than a full second. Even though it was just a few messages pointing it out at first, emboldened by the newfound attention, the '''terrorist''' soon reacted to another message. From that moment on, widespread panic and hysteria completely took over. | ||
Dubbed the '''Butthole Bandit''' by the general populace<ref>{{Cite message|author='''Nae'''|date=September 17, 2023|content=The butthole bandit has taken over|server=69SwagBalls420 Cord|channel='''🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜'''}}</ref>, the '''terrorist''' continued '''thug-reacting''', always gone in a mere moment. With no way to verify their identity after the reaction was removed, anonymous and faceless, the '''Butthole Bandit''' continued spreading their reign of terror across the channel. A sniper unit was dispatched to '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜''', eyes peeled to the screen and fingers ready on the reaction button, their reflexes honed for years prior, all to catch a mere glimpse of their name. | Dubbed the '''Butthole Bandit''' by the general populace<ref>{{Cite message|author='''Nae'''|date=September 17, 2023|content=The butthole bandit has taken over|server=69SwagBalls420 Cord|channel='''🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜'''}}</ref>, the '''terrorist''' continued '''thug-reacting''', always gone in a mere moment. With no way to verify their identity after the reaction was removed, anonymous and faceless, the '''Butthole Bandit''' continued spreading their reign of terror across the channel. A sniper unit was dispatched to '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜''', eyes peeled to the screen and fingers ready on the reaction button, their reflexes honed for years prior, all to catch a mere glimpse of their name. | ||
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==== The Prophecy ==== | ==== The Prophecy ==== | ||
{{Quote|''''PANDORA IS GIRARDT<ref>{{Cite message|author=girard|date=November 22, 2023|content=PANDORA IS GIRARDT|server=69SwagBalls420 Cord|channel='''🔪-girards-torture-chamber'''|link=https://discord.com/channels/938728183203758080/1171575756695019665/1176661251091337227}}</ref>'''|Girard}}[[File:Thermwars.jpeg|thumb|'''girard''' calls back to his prophecy on November 24, strengthening the belief that thermonuclear war would take place on '''December 8'''.|214x214px]]The man of metal speaks in riddles. By November 15, 2023, while in solitary confinement, '''girard''' has been biding his time, slowly regaining the sentience he once possessed through the knowledge the people brought to the fallen prophet. As the messages gradually started to take on more meaning, '''girard'''<nowiki/>'s popularity as the server comedian hit an ever-high spike. Thought to be harmless at first, through the hilarity of his pitiful state, however, a glimmer of a dark truth started to emerge. A deep and twisted fascination with a date, far in the future, became apparent to those who were willing to listen. '''December 8'''. Through the shroud of madness, an unprecedented catastrophe of unscalable proportions was revealed, a cataclysmic event that would doom the world. The '''Macromaniac Wars'''. | {{Quote|''''PANDORA IS GIRARDT<ref>{{Cite message|author=girard|date=November 22, 2023|content=PANDORA IS GIRARDT|server=69SwagBalls420 Cord|channel='''🔪-girards-torture-chamber'''|link=https://discord.com/channels/938728183203758080/1171575756695019665/1176661251091337227}}</ref>'''|Girard}}[[File:Thermwars.jpeg|thumb|'''girard''' calls back to his prophecy on November 24, strengthening the belief that thermonuclear war would take place on '''December 8'''.|214x214px]]The man of metal speaks in riddles. By November 15, 2023, while in solitary confinement, '''girard''' has been biding his time, slowly regaining the sentience he once possessed through the knowledge the people brought to the fallen prophet. As the messages gradually started to take on more meaning, '''girard'''<nowiki/>'s popularity as the server comedian hit an ever-high spike. Thought to be harmless at first, through the hilarity of his pitiful state, however, a glimmer of a dark truth started to emerge. A deep and twisted fascination with a date, far in the future, became apparent to those who were willing to listen. '''December 8'''. Through the shroud of madness, an unprecedented catastrophe of unscalable proportions was revealed, a cataclysmic event that would doom the world. The '''Macromaniac Wars'''.<ref group="editor's note">add note about references from Vibe and others about '''the War...''' many months prior to the event - '''Walt'''</ref> | ||
The prophecy spoke of untold horrors beyond the comprehension of human minds. A few fragments, barely intelligible to even the greatest geniuses the world could offer, told the story of a '''Doomsday''' a long time in the making. Nuclear bombs, man's creation, the mortal race that had so arrogantly believed themselves to be able to subdue the ruler of this world, would ravage the ground, innocent<ref group="note">And yet, after what was done to '''girard''', could any '''SwagBaller''' be considered innocent?</ref> blood soak the soil, painting it deep red, and nothing again would sprout from the salted earth, barren and empty, ready to be molded by the '''Great One'''. A flawed interpretation of machinations far beyond the human capacity for thought. No man knows the day or the hour. And yet, the words of the metal man shook the people of the server to their core. '''God''' '''save us all.''' | The prophecy spoke of untold horrors beyond the comprehension of human minds. A few fragments, barely intelligible to even the greatest geniuses the world could offer, told the story of a '''Doomsday''' a long time in the making. Nuclear bombs, man's creation, the mortal race that had so arrogantly believed themselves to be able to subdue the ruler of this world, would ravage the ground, innocent<ref group="note">And yet, after what was done to '''girard''', could any '''SwagBaller''' be considered innocent?</ref> blood soak the soil, painting it deep red, and nothing again would sprout from the salted earth, barren and empty, ready to be molded by the '''Great One'''. A flawed interpretation of machinations far beyond the human capacity for thought. No man knows the day or the hour. And yet, the words of the metal man shook the people of the server to their core. '''God''' '''save us all.''' | ||
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On December 3, the first signs of rebellion were observed. Was this a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy or were these true visions of the future is a matter still debated upon. The leadership of '''69SwagBalls420''' took notice of the growing '''girardian Revolutionary Movement''' within its borders, and sensed that a coup was imminent. | On December 3, the first signs of rebellion were observed. Was this a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy or were these true visions of the future is a matter still debated upon. The leadership of '''69SwagBalls420''' took notice of the growing '''girardian Revolutionary Movement''' within its borders, and sensed that a coup was imminent. | ||
The protests all began from a single member, '''Charter''', losing his '''Soyjak Gold''' role for an ''unknown reason''<ref group="editor's note">'''Walter''' here, I'll try to find the specific reason, you will be satisfied with '''3rd degree chuddery''' in the meantime. I believe it had to do with the bullying of '''greenies'''.</ref>, being executed by an ''unknown staff member that we do not know the name of''<ref group="editor's note">At this point I'm just leaving these as a reminder for myself. -'''Walt'''</ref>. They soon escalated as '''Koknese''' started rallying up popular support and asking mods to give him his role back, which was met by suppression<ref group="note">Honestly can't remember, did we remove people's messages or is this just the usual '''literally 1984'''? -'''Walt'''</ref> from the '''mod team'''. Later | The protests all began from a single member, '''Charter''', losing his '''Soyjak Gold''' role for an ''unknown reason''<ref group="editor's note">'''Walter''' here, I'll try to find the specific reason, you will be satisfied with '''3rd degree chuddery''' in the meantime. I believe it had to do with the bullying of '''greenies'''.</ref>, being executed by an ''unknown staff member that we do not know the name of''<ref group="editor's note">At this point I'm just leaving these as a reminder for myself. -'''Walt'''</ref>. They soon escalated as '''Koknese''' started rallying up popular support and asking mods to give him his role back, which was met by suppression<ref group="note">Honestly can't remember, did we remove people's messages or is this just the usual '''literally 1984'''? -'''Walt'''</ref> from the '''mod team'''. Later '''Koknese''' and '''Charter''' called upon the '''greenies''', persuading them with slogans such as "it's also a fight for your freedom"<ref group="editor's note">I can't find anything by just searching this up, may be a misquote, I'll find an actual slogan to put into the quotes (I'm sure there's bound to be something) -'''Walt'''</ref>, etc. | ||
Armed forces and popular support against the rebellion were quickly mobilized,<ref name=":2">{{Cite message|author=crochampion|date=December 5, 2023 - December 7, 2023|content=The War - A Timeline|server=69SwagBalls420|channel='''🏛-swagballs-historical-society'''}}</ref> but the measures were unable to control the emerging threat. Within hours, the server was soon almost completely polarized between the '''Loyalist''' and '''Revolutionary''' factions, the former fighting to uphold the status quo, and the latter revolting against the '''mod team''', demanding change and - unacceptable to the '''mods''' - '''greenie''' rights. | Armed forces and popular support against the rebellion were quickly mobilized,<ref name=":2">{{Cite message|author=crochampion|date=December 5, 2023 - December 7, 2023|content=The War - A Timeline|server=69SwagBalls420|channel='''🏛-swagballs-historical-society'''}}</ref> but the measures were unable to control the emerging threat. Within hours, the server was soon almost completely polarized between the '''Loyalist''' and '''Revolutionary''' factions, the former fighting to uphold the status quo, and the latter revolting against the '''mod team''', demanding change and - unacceptable to the '''mods''' - '''greenie''' rights. | ||
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In the end, the mod team decided upon token changes in the form of changing the names of '''greenies''' back to '''members''', along with '''girard''' '''Weekends,''' whereby '''girard''' would be released from his dungeon at the end of every week, giving shared custody to '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜.''' Due to the '''mod team'''<nowiki/>'s inability to keep track of time, however, the name "weekends" remains purely advisory. And with that, the crisis was solved. | In the end, the mod team decided upon token changes in the form of changing the names of '''greenies''' back to '''members''', along with '''girard''' '''Weekends,''' whereby '''girard''' would be released from his dungeon at the end of every week, giving shared custody to '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜.''' Due to the '''mod team'''<nowiki/>'s inability to keep track of time, however, the name "weekends" remains purely advisory. And with that, the crisis was solved. | ||
[[File:The War is Over.png|thumb|826x826px|'''Barley'''. ''Swaglandia Shall Rejoice!'', 2023, coloring pencil on paper. The drawing portrays the artist's rendition of the end of '''the War...''' From left to right: '''girard, John, Charter, Mustard, Barley, Walter'''.]] | |||
Many server members have found '''the War...''' to be childish, including members as notable as '''JazzyMason8''', the main victim of the '''Boom Pregnant campaign''', who thought the bit was unfunny from the beginning<ref>{{Cite message|author='''JazzyMason8'''|date=December 4, 2023|content=It was always unfunny and gross|server=KirbyCord|channel='''kurk'''}}</ref>, '''picklelord42''', even members of the '''mod staff'''. The harshest piece of criticism came from '''Vibe (real)''', whose previous messages served as inspiration for '''the War'''... in the first place. | |||
{{Quote|'''The War'''... thing used to be my thing... You know, there was like, people would come up to me and talk about '''the War'''... and I'd freak out, you know? Because '''the War'''... was brutal! And now '''Charter'''... '''Charter'''... gentrified it... he gentrified '''the War'''...! I'll never forgive him for that. Never!"|Vibe (real), ''in a message transmitted by radio.''}} | |||
Too bad the server didn't give a swag. [[File:The War is Over.png|thumb|826x826px|'''Barley'''. ''Swaglandia Shall Rejoice!'', 2023, coloring pencil on paper. The drawing portrays the artist's rendition of the end of '''the War...''' From left to right: '''girard, John, Charter, Mustard, Barley, Walter'''.]] | |||
'''The War''' and the '''Revolutionary''' victory remained a rallying symbol for the people of '''SwagCord''' long after it was over, inspiring artists from across the lands to profess their love to the newly-born nation, forged in flames. The server artist '''Barley''' found great fame in the wake of the peace treaty, receiving 9 gems and a place on the starboard for their artwork and poem:<blockquote>Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas Tree | '''The War''' and the '''Revolutionary''' victory remained a rallying symbol for the people of '''SwagCord''' long after it was over, inspiring artists from across the lands to profess their love to the newly-born nation, forged in flames. The server artist '''Barley''' found great fame in the wake of the peace treaty, receiving 9 gems and a place on the starboard for their artwork and poem:<blockquote>Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas Tree | ||
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'''Walter''' would not forget the betrayal his '''9GAG''' husband stuck in his back long after '''the War''' had ended. Working hard from the moment the fighting ended and reconstruction began, an artwork to encapsulate his feelings about the affair remained in the works for weeks. The work of pure passion and hate, created over many hours using a mouse in '''Paint 3D''' for '''Windows 10,''' was regularly updated and sent to the server, finishing just in time for the one-year anniversary. | '''Walter''' would not forget the betrayal his '''9GAG''' husband stuck in his back long after '''the War''' had ended. Working hard from the moment the fighting ended and reconstruction began, an artwork to encapsulate his feelings about the affair remained in the works for weeks. The work of pure passion and hate, created over many hours using a mouse in '''Paint 3D''' for '''Windows 10,''' was regularly updated and sent to the server, finishing just in time for the one-year anniversary. | ||
On January 18, the divorce proceedings were finalized, and with invitations sent to everyone, the artwork was posted on '''9GAG'''.<ref>dankchungus (January 18, 2024) [https://9gag.com/gag/aZDewO6 It's been an amazing year here on 9GAG. So many wonderful people I've met here... But all good things must come to an end. After 265 days of blissful marriage, I am divorcing my 9GAG husband Mr. Asex. A big thanks to everyone who has accompanied us on this journey. God bless! 🙏] ''9GAG''.</ref><ref group=note>Due to '''9GAG'''<nowiki/>'s limits on aspect ratios, the artwork was surrounded by some of the greatest comments found on the website during the past year.</ref> | On January 18, the divorce proceedings were finalized, and with invitations sent to everyone, the artwork was posted on '''9GAG'''.<ref>dankchungus (January 18, 2024) [https://9gag.com/gag/aZDewO6 It's been an amazing year here on 9GAG. So many wonderful people I've met here... But all good things must come to an end. After 265 days of blissful marriage, I am divorcing my 9GAG husband Mr. Asex. A big thanks to everyone who has accompanied us on this journey. God bless! 🙏] ''9GAG''.</ref><ref group=note>Due to '''9GAG'''<nowiki/>'s limits on aspect ratios, the artwork was surrounded by some of the greatest comments found on the website during the past year.</ref> | ||