User:WalterWhiteOnWiki: Difference between revisions
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=== The Butthole Bandit === | === The Butthole Bandit === | ||
Disaster strikes when one least expects it. On September 17, '''Lin''' rejoined the server after a short absence<ref group="editor's note">'''Missing Context.'''</ref>, surprised to see how much the server has grown over the course of a single day, attributed to '''Sam'''<nowiki/>'s recent server promotion on the '''r/IkeaFreshBalls''' subreddit. The conversation otherwise unremarkable, chaos ensued as attention quickly shifted to a '''butthole reaction''' under one of the earlier messages, disappearing after less than a full second. Even though it was just a few messages pointing it out at first, emboldened by the newfound attention, the '''terrorist''' soon reacted to another message. From that moment on, widespread panic and hysteria completely took over. | |||
Dubbed the '''Butthole Bandit''' by the general populace<ref>{{Cite message|author='''Nae'''|date=September 17, 2023|content=The butthole bandit has taken over|server=69SwagBalls420 Cord|channel='''🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜'''}}</ref>, the '''terrorist''' continued '''thug-reacting''', always gone in a mere moment. With no way to verify their identity after the reaction was removed, anonymous and faceless, the '''Butthole Bandit''' continued spreading their reign of terror across the channel. A sniper unit was dispatched to '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜''', eyes peeled to the screen and fingers ready on the reaction button, their reflexes honed for years prior, all to catch a mere glimpse of their name. | |||
It soon became clear that the '''Butthole Bandit''' was no amateur. This was professional and organized. Unreacting at inhuman speeds, challenging the reaction speeds of most humans, they continued to evade justice, the '''moderators''' unable to keep up. Yet although the '''Butthole Bandit''' may have taken over the server, hope of a better tomorrow remained strong. Sooner or later, he would slip up. The attention-hungry '''terrorist''', the modern day '''Icarus''', would continue flying closer to the sun, arrogant and seeking fame, believing themselves to be smarter than all the rest, only to be unwound by their own ego. | |||
[[File:ButtholeLore.webp|thumb|343x343px|'''Ozzy''' enters the [[Shid and Camed|criminal's den]], where the '''organization''' quickly admits to its crimes.]] | |||
'''Bazinga''' would soon get a confirmed hit.<ref>{{Cite message|author='''Bazinga'''|date=September 17, 2023|content=i saw who it was|server=69SwagBalls420 Cord|channel='''🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜'''}}</ref> A small glimpse was all that was needed. ''"'''bax something'''"''. The name rings a bell in '''Walter'''<nowiki/>'s mind. This was not a random nobody. '''Ozzy''' quickly searched through the member list, finding a name. '''Baxobhillus,''' the owner of '''[[Shid_and_Camed]]''', was suddenly caught red handed. '''Ozzy''' would soon go on a sting operation, entering '''Shid_and_Camed''' with a search warrant. | |||
[[File:Buttholelore2.webp|left|thumb|349x349px|A creature of chaos, the '''Butthole Bandit'''<nowiki/>'s activities go far into the past.]] | |||
Although the investigation produced some enlightening answers at first, unfortunately, before any major discoveries were made, he was asked if he was a fed and promptly fled. | |||
[[File:Buttholelore3.webp.png|frame|The '''Butthole Bandit''' does not work alone.]] | |||
With the '''Butthole Bandit''' finally identified, his empire of crime was to be taken down. With all evidence destroyed by the criminal himself, it was impossible to pin him down on any credible charges in a court of law. While the idea of a '''Methcord'''<ref group="editor's note">need a section on methcord, maybe in ongoing campaigns - '''Walt'''</ref> '''Tweaker Strike Force''' involvement was floated around, the '''Bandit''' was ultimately to be taken down like '''[[wikipedia:Al_Capone|Capone]]''', for the high crime of tax evasion. | |||
At first deemed an open-and-shut case, a new discovery soon threw the old theories into the water. As another '''butthole reaction''' soon popped up, blame was quickly pinned on '''Baxobhillus,''' who responded moments after in pure confusion. It wasn't him who reacted this time. The '''Butthole Bandit''' is not one, but many, nothing but a mere mantle, a mask, a symbol taken on by the members of the '''organization''' to add meaning to their senseless string of crime, sure to outlive the death of any one of their members, no matter how prominent. | |||
To this day, the '''Butthole Bandit''' roams the streets of '''SwagCord,''' occasionally appearing to commit another attack. Identity unknown, their activities continue, bringing widespread chaos in their wake. Quick as always, they are gone in a flash. '''Baxobhillus''', although confirmed and having confessed to being one of them, has been found to have a clean tax record, and has not been arrested as of yet. He has not yet been implicated in any of the recent activities. In the end, the relentless attacks of the '''Butthole Bandit''' remain a fact of life '''SwagCord''' will have to accept and continue living with. | |||
=== The Chained God === | === The Chained God === | ||
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# '''The Pit''' is used excessively by moderators as a form of punishment. [sic] | # '''The Pit''' is used excessively by moderators as a form of punishment. [sic] | ||
'''The War''' | '''The War...''' | ||
==== The Trial of Charter ==== | ==== The Trial of Charter ==== | ||