69MoeLester420: Difference between revisions

Every good story needs a villain, and you don't make it to 50 server members without making a few enemies. Most of them were your average run-of-the-mill internet assholes, saying the n-word a couple of times or being slightly annoying for a few minutes before promptly vanishing. There is, however, a single user so utterly pathetic, <b style="color:red">(based <i style="color:blue">(Memers don't even say based anymore. We say gem.)</i>)</b> so absolutely devoid of purpose <b style="color:red">(my purpose is to be an asshole to random people online <i style="color:blue">(💔)</i>)</b> that they choose to spend the limited time <b style="color:red">(i’m actually immortal)</b> that they have on this Earth not only rotting in the dank pits of their gamer dungeon, but to making it their life's mission to mildly annoy <b style="color:red">(slight understatement considering i have my own fucking wikipedia section lmao)</b> a few Reddit mods. A tragic display of how low a human being can stoop, so infatuated by the smell of its own farts <b style="color:red">(they smell like ARYAN VRIL)</b> that it is unable for a moment to realize the worthlessness of its own existence. Despite the dozens of times this pest has been banned, they keep coming back like a drug-starved addict that cannot go without their daily hit, using dozens of alt accounts to stay on Reddit, as their reliance on the website is such that even a temporary withdrawal would result in a coma. The very definition of terminally online, <b style="color:red">(stage 4)</b> this user shall remain unnamed, <b style="color:red">(it’s the Jewedditor)</b> not for fear of retaliation, but as not to provide them with a drop of satisfaction. <b style="color:red">(i laughed for 10 minutes straight when i found this and the gc found it hilarious, which it is <i style="color:blue">(It is pretty funny.)</i>)</b> Instead, they will be referred to as what they really are: a '''human cockroach''' <b style="color:red">(lmao)</b> with no value to anyone, one that everyone wishes was just gone, yet one so persistent in its aims that no matter how much you stomp on it, it keeps coming back. One must embrace the '''cockroach''' as an unchanging constant in life, just as Sisyphus may never push the boulder up that sharply sloping hill, so too will this user never be truly removed. Once you embrace the fact that this insect is here to stay, you may indulge in laughter at the pitiful ways it claws for attention. <b style="color:red">(i have my own wikipedia section lmfao)</b>

[[File:CockroachLore1.png|left|thumb|320x320px|The first documented encounter of the '''r/69MoeLester420''' mod staff with the '''Cockroach'''.]]

On January 19, both '''Walter''' and '''SlenderSmurf''' woke up to find their Reddit accounts temporarily suspended. The reason? Harassment. The '''Cockroach''', the had decided to report its modmail conversation to the Reddit admins. <b style="color:red">(no the fuck i didnt? lmao)</b> The low-life weasel spent hours provoking the mods, <b style="color:red">(didn’t happen, meds now.)</b> only to call the teacher the moment someone insulted it back. The punishments, lasting 2 days and a week respectively, were served with dignity, as would be expected from Reddit mods worth their karma. It is important to note that it wasn't the length or even the existence of these bans that was insulting, but rather the fact that someone would stoop so low as to involve the '''Reddit admins''' in the situation.  <b style="color:red">(SLANDER)</b> That is a sign of the lowest breed of man, one so wretched that they would make a deal with Satan himself for rather than admit defeat. Thus did the '''Moederators''' intuit what kind of person they were dealing with, but nothing could prepare them for what came next. <b style="color:red">(the funniest shit ever)</b>

In some sense, the '''Cockroach''' does the same. It is aware it will never win. It has been banned instantly many times and yet it keeps trying. It is the modern Sisyphus, determined to continue its endless task, as hopeless as it may seem. It does not care for the prospect of victory anymore. Instead, it finds joy in every n-word it drops, every dead child it posts. It is not the final goal that matters to it anymore, it knows very well that nothing will come out of its stunts, but it is the very process of annoying the mods that gives the '''Cockroach''' life. It is the journey that matters, not the destination. One must imagine the '''Cockroach''' happy.

===The End of The High Priest===