Holy Gondal Empire

Holy Gondal Empire

Server info
Status	Active
Invite link	https://discord.gg/hawktuah
Users	140+
Owner	ara, Heckknok and everr
History
Founded	July 14th, 2024
Founder	ara

The Holy Gondal Empire is the latest server in Gondal's story. It was formed by merging two split-off servers, Kevinia and Red Cup Conspiracy, after Gondal: From The Ashes was archived due to constant raids by pedophiles who spammed child pornography on the former server. The latest entry in Irony servers, bringing it back from the dead!

Season 0: Red Kevinian Cup

07/14/2024 - The Conception

The very first rule of the server.

During this date, three great minds came together with a simple idea: a server merge of the greats. Ara, representing Gondal: From the Ashes, Heckknok, representing Red Cup, and Everr, representing Kevinia come together to create a father server, hosting both many newgens and many controversies.

Season 1: Holy Gondal Empire

7/15/2024 - Patryk Vs. Stndpzng

For the first event of Holy Gondal Empire as we know it, Gondalian Administration decided to start big. It was to be a sort of gladiatorial battle for reintegration into Gondal, a vc battle for the very right to live. In one corner you had Patryk Kornatowski, a verifiable juggernaut, weighing in at over 372 pounds and perhaps one of, if not the, greatest lolcow in irony history. Arrested for uncountable crimes, including drinking his own bodily fluids, covering himself in shit, attempting to dox several high ranking members, and having a questionable presence with sexual content featuring underage characters. In the other corner is the Las Vegas native and elder Gondalian Standpissing, a formerly highly influential man involved in many of the greatest Irony servers and Irony movements. He is held on trial for explaining Gondal lore to his IRL crush, hanging out with trannies, and worst of all just generally being annoying as shit. The two had feuded in the past, Standpissing having been involved with an 8chan hacker who threatened Patryk's life and home address. This was more personal. On the day of the 15th, Patryk had developed a habit of muting everyone else in the vc and just talking to himself, something that proved detrimental during the battle. When Standpissing arrived, Patryk was already distressed, making Standpissing's job very easy. Due to everyone being muted by the contestants the best way to communicate with them was through spamming general chat, causing it to look closer to a Twitch chat than a conversation. The turnout was good, around 15 or so people arrived and multiple were recording the event. Patryk was up against the ropes for the majority of the match. He had muted himself and would just sit there as Standpissing racked up "points" and occasionally attempted to reason with him. Patryk would only unmute to spout lines either given to him by Heckknok or taken from the spammed general chat. Multiple times Patryk would receive very important tips and tricks from the adoring crowd such as Standpissing's many home addresses including local Sears and Taco Bell locations, they also helped Patryk avoid 8chan hacking attacks by turning his camera on and unmuting. Despite these efforts, the villainous and evil Standpissing still had the clear lead. It took a 3rd quarter pep talk from Cliff Burkett to inform Patryk of his upcoming loss and to remind him of the stakes of the situation to get our good ol Autistic King to kick into hyper drive. What happened next was beyond description. Patryk turned on his camera, took off his shirt, donned his Iconic V for Vendetta mask, and began to shake his large drooping breasts for all to see. This clearly blew Standpissing out of the water and he had no hope of recovering. Somehow, Patryk had done it, to the applause of all of his adoring fans in the server, and Standpissing was vanquished forever. All of this footage exists somewhere and Everr is supposed to have edited by now. Please harass Everr until his video is done.

7/17/2024 | 8/3/2024 - Wry Hacks Patryk

Wry, who already was known for his kindness, decided to take things up a notch on the night of July 17th, 2024, by, for god knows why, forcing WigWav to send a virus-infected Patryk visual novel to Patryk himself via his Discord DMs, Patryk decided to download it and boot it up, and after downloading and unzipping it, Patryk realized that it wasn't working, as it said it it had a virus, Patryk then contacted WigWav back saying that it wasn't working, Wig said that it was made with Windows 11, so he was going to fix and send the needed version for Patryk's OS (Windows 10), but unbeknownst to him, was a "nice" little suprise... a virus that stole ALL of his personal infomation, passwords, accounts that he didn't bother using anymore, etc. and given them to wry, he then got into Patryk's Discord account and pretended to be the ghost of American general, statesman and former president of Texas, Sam Houston, who is best known to have taken part of the Texas Revolution, he then spammed porn, spammed the word "nigger" all over the place, and even posted Patryk's own phone number on one server he is in, meaning that he was truly hacked, and then wry messaged a random Discord e-whore via Pat's account if he wants to feet pics, Patryk, at this point, was very shocked and angered at this, so much so, that he started to call wry gay, saying that he wanted him to fuck his dad and Bangshakalaka, etc., so much so that he even made a poster for people to block him, this didn't stop him, eventually he did stop, but not quite just yet, he then started to leak some of Patryk's passwords under the alias "wudie" onto the server, he tried hacking into some of his account that he leaked the passwords to, but luckily, Patryk decided to change the passwords to those accounts because NO ONE WANTS someone to get into there accounts without permission, eventually wry showed proof to Patryk that he had ALL of the passwords via a Discord group chat he had made and it even got to the point, that wry forced Patryk to apologize for being a pedophile (which he isn't) and it went SO FAR into the extreme, that wry forced Patryk to say that he was 11 years old, which violates Discord's TOS, mind you, unfortunately, Patryk's account was terminated, and he did make a new account, but however, that one was hacked too, WigWav did give Patryk a Discord Anti-Virus, but that also failed, he tried enabling 2FA (Two-Factor Authentication), but failed, he then deleted the account, which the hacker said not to, and then he deleted it, and soon began making a YouTube community post saying that he was done was Discord for awhile, while making the post, he got a call from wry, pretending to be a friend from school, specifically math class, and as it turned out, it was wry that was calling him, and then ended the call, soon, Patryk made the YouTube community post public... for all to see... and after a huge outcry from the Gondalians and beyond, Patryk decided that it will best to install a VPN, TunnelBear, and install Discord once again, this time going under the alias "Patryk (3)" aka "patryk_la_vista", and wry stopped hacking, and soon started to post on Twitter, where he orginally started to repost Transgender porn, later stopping and eventually coming out to be actually Transphobic, and then he started to post lighthearted shitposts, and mention patryk here and there. there was a hack of Patryk's Columbine Forums account, but luckily he retrived it, but this didn't stop Patryk though, he had another trick up his sleeve, Gabeolo gave Wry's address to Patryk in the server, and you know what he decided to do, he decided to send a letter to him, with a Picture of him without a shirt on and wearing his V for Vendetta (aka "Anonymous") mask, just like what he did to Stndpzng, and a CD, with a song that he wrote and Connor made, called "Wry Is a fag", he then sent the letter (along with his mother) on August 9th, and since then... wry has faded away... into dust... (I know this isn't the exact the date that the hacking ended, but shut up, I decided to mention it for the hell of it)

Season 2: Death of Heckknok

7/19/2024 - Heckknok's passing

On a seemingly random night server owner #2 and leader of the friend group Heckknok AKA Voltaire AKA Gobulon left nearly every server he was in. This came at a lot of people's surprise but the oldest of fags knew that Connor has been bipolar since his birth. Many people were rightfully afraid of the chaos caused by the large discordian power vacuum, for although he kept in contact with a chosen few Gondalians he seemed as if he would be gone forever. While no one knew why he had done this, some people later learned that the action was sprung upon by one of Wry's greatest homosexuals, Jake101, after a conversation about some gay and retarded Miguelian bullshit. While he seems to be missing for now, some say he still has eyes in Gondalia and the general Irony Server scene, ruling it from the shadows... This may not be the last time we hear of this Cordian legend... ... ....

7/25/2024 - The Catman Situation

Catman, a new server member, seemed innocent enough. They were in the server for a small while, and one fateful night at 11:30 PM, they joined the voice call. He turned on his camera, and he looked very young. Around 8-12. WHAT? Suddenly, the kid pulled out something his penis on the call. Why would he do this? We were all traumatized from this incident. Sussyjamacia then created a suspicious invite... and a new member (drakobloxxers_) joined. Cool! But then... this guy also joined the call, turned on his camera, and it was the same kid! Showing it again! Very very strange... NEVER AGAIN GONDAL.

7/27/2024 | 7/30/2024 - The Great Kanyian Migration

On this particular date, Keempa invited the Kanyians to come to Gondal. The Kanyians are local to the east coast, and migrate servers frequently. Majority of them are 13-16, and Greasebeast was against inviting them to the server for this fact alone. However, they joined, and remained for a few days. They were active, and joined in chat and calls occasionally. They were removed by Keempa and Greasebeast shortly after their introduction to the server.

Season 3: Dictatorship

8/4/2024 - The 8/4/24 Incident

The 8/4/24 Incident included a new individual that goes by Norman Helmuth Eiche, otherwise known as Sergeant Eiche. He is the founder of the Federal Republic of Normandia (FRN) political party, and was democratically elected as the first president for this server after winning the election. At first, everything seemed like it was going well, until his pal RedDark, who is apparently one of his friends irl and happens to be an Estonian furry Team Fortress 2 addict that was secretly disguised as the popular YouTuber Markiplier, wanted Eiche to invite his shitty nuke bot that was called "FRN BOT" to the server. RedDark forced him to always trust him as a "friend", who would then convince him that his nuke bot was "secure" and kept begging him to add it. After Eiche was constantly pressured by him, he decided to just add the bot because he thought that it would just follow and enforce his policies, which is to "wipe out furries and gooners". 10 minutes after he invited the bot, it would start to slowly delete channels while staff members that were active at the time noticed what was happening and did whatever they could to stop the nuke bot. RedDark would then go on to make fun of Eiche in his DMs by saying "WHAT THE HELL BRO" and "FUCK YOU HAHAHAHAHA". At first, everyone thought that Eiche was the one who nuked Gondal, but it turns out that RedDark had access to his entire computer and "controlled" him by using software called Parsec. Because of this, Eiche was immediately impeached, disqualified from participating in any more elections, and was temporarily banned. It was also discovered that RedDark's true intentions to nuke the server was because he thought it was full of racists and pedophiles. However, RedDark is not able to sense irony and found out that the server is in fact NOT filled with racists and pedophiles.

With the server now in ruins, Ara’s friend Ignasijus gave himself admin perms after Ara forgot to remove the role management perms he gave him while back, in hopes of fixing the server himself. Ignasijus would then start overusing his new powers by banning the most active members blindly, which turned out to be an unpopular decision. Eventually, Ara told him to stop due to Gondalians starting to protest against him and said he shouldn't use his powers at all, which he has stuck to for the most part. The President role was also given to Patryk, who would then be voted off by the newly elected council after he started abusing his perms. With all hope seemed lost, Ignasijus decided it would be best to give Hans the second highest role in the server so that the HGE can finally recover from the nuke. However, Everr didn't really like what was happening, saying that the server should just be deleted and shut down so that a new one can be started up since he believed that the server is more active when it is in danger, stating that servers should always be "fragile" and "at risk". This isn't the only way to make it active, but only just the most destructive way possible. He also said it should be shut down because its too Heckknok-centric and mostly because of the fact that Ignas still had the highest role. He would then close the server for a little while so that it could be archived, but then Ara came back and reopened the server because he did not agree with most of the points Everr was making, stating the server still has potential.

8/10/2024 - Presidential Election

The elections began!