WalterWhiteOnWiki

Joined 14 June 2023
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===The 9GAG conquest===
===The 9GAG conquest===
[[File:9GAGlore2.png|thumb|334x334px|'''Mr. Sex''' creates an account, the first of many that would be made on this faithful day, when the '''69MoeLester420''' server fell in love with 9GAG.]]
[[File:9GAGlore2.png|thumb|334x334px|'''Mr. Sex''' creates an account, the first of many that would be made on this fateful day, when the '''69MoeLester420''' server fell in love with 9GAG.]]
[[File:9GAGlore.png|left|thumb|The absolute terribleness of the website was apparent from the very beginning.]]
[[File:9GAGlore.png|left|thumb|The absolutely abominable quality of the website was apparent from the very beginning.]]
The name of 9GAG has long instilled fear in the hearts of internet users. It was like a time machine that led to a darker age, to a time when rage comics were laughed at unironically and advice animals considered peak comedy. Frozen in time, as the years passed, and social media websites rose and fell, 9GAG, despite the odds, managed to survive all this time, quite a curiosity how it hasn't gone bankrupt yet. To the rest of the internet, it was where funny went to die, a project doomed to failure, an alternative to Reddit that was inferior in every way. Yet 9GAG went on, it carved its own little niche, one which would turn away most, yet also one where the rage comic artist could find a home.
The name "'''9GAG'''" has long brought fear to the hearts of internet users. Like some sort of infernal time machine that led only to a darker age when rage comics were celebrated unironically and advice animals were considered the peak of comedy.


The '''moederators''', however, would not be scared so easily. On January 17, '''Mr. Sex''' would go on to install the app. A true believer in the cause, he acknowledged he wasn't being a wholesome chungus lately, and wished to set himself on the right track again by visiting the dankest site there is. And by God, it was everything we had hoped for and so much more. Everything we saw there was entirely antithetical to what comedy should look like, every single post drained our will to live little by little, the existence of such a place was so paradoxical, why would so many people willingly choose to spend their time on 9GAG of all places? It was perfect.  
Frozen in time as the years passed and social media websites rose and fell, '''9GAG''' endured against all odds, avoiding bankruptcy by means known to no wholesome denizen of the 'net.


It was soon after that the other members of the server started making accounts on the website. '''Mr. Sex''' made a post on the site, but it was left largely ignored by most of the userbase. It would not be until '''Walter''' made a post<ref>Please do check out the comments, as the post can easily be found by following the link: https://9gag.com/gag/aWGj0j6?ref=android</ref> that things started to kick in. It was a massive hit, with a total of 168 downvotes soon showering the post. The comments section was incredible.
To the rest of the internet, it was where memes went to die, a Reddit alternative that combined the worst aspects of Reddit and Facebook, inferior to these platforms in every way. Yet 9GAG went on. It carved its own niche, one which would turn away most, yet also one where the rage comic artist would find a home.


So much vitriol contained in only a few replies, it was stunning to watch, it was like seeing two bullhorns fighting, showing all their might, but instead of a brutal fight to the death, reaction images older than the average reader of this article were exchanged, with a few Reddit-tier comebacks mixed in as well. It was quite a sight, and the other mods soon realized they wanted in on the fun as well. '''Koonsbmw''' created an account soon after, and the conquest truly began. And soon, we would be blessed with what may as well be the greatest moment in history, one to be remembered for the ages, so hilariously great that its memory remains preserved long after the '''69MoeLester420''' server was archived.  
The '''moederators''' would not be scared so easily. On January 17, '''Mr. Sex''' installed '''9GAG'''. He acknowledged he had strayed from the path of the wholesome chungus, and wished to redeem himself through a pilgrimage to the dankest site there is.
 
By God, it was everything we had hoped for and so much more! Every post we saw in that antediluvian place was entirely antithetical to what comedy ought to look like. Simply scrolling through the site drained our will to live. The frightful existence of such a place was so was a mystery unfit for contemplation by a healthy human mind: why would so many people willingly choose to spend their time on 9GAG?
 
As members of the server began to make 9GAG accounts, '''Mr. Sex''' made a post on the site, one that went mercifully ignored by most of the site's loathsome inhabitants. It would not be until '''Walter''' made a post<ref>Please do check out the comments, as the post can easily be found by following the link: https://9gag.com/gag/aWGj0j6?ref=android</ref> that the 9GAGGERS noticed the intrusion. A total of 168 downvotes showered the post. The comments section was beyond belief.
 
So much vitriol contained in only a few replies, it was stunning to watch, primordial reaction images encrusted with JPEG artifacts that marked them as older than the average reader of this article were exchanged, with a few Reddit-tier comebacks mixed in. Soon the other mods realized they wanted in on the fun. '''Koonsbmw''' created an account, and the conquest truly began.  
 
Then it happened.
 
We were blessed with what may well be the greatest moment in history, one of such majesty that its memory remains preserved in the stickers of '''[[69SwagBalls420]]''' long after the '''69MoeLester420''' server was archived.  
[[File:9GAGlore8.png|alt=no emojies you canser|thumb|514x514px|The greatest sentence uttered by a human being since the dawn of time.|left]]
[[File:9GAGlore8.png|alt=no emojies you canser|thumb|514x514px|The greatest sentence uttered by a human being since the dawn of time.|left]]
[[File:9GAGlore6.png|thumb|393x393px|Our first ally from across the border.]]
[[File:9GAGlore6.png|thumb|393x393px|Our first ally from across the border.]]
Not everything went smoothly, however, as a wrench was thrown into our plans. The 9GAG devs, realizing that keeping the server running put on too much of a strain on the single hamster they employed for such a task, decided to place a daily limit on how much you could post, and 10 minutes had to pass before one could post or comment again. This did not stop the proud '''69MoeLester420''' army, it should be noted, as they steadily continued marching on into enemy territory. It was comforting to see that the '''69MoeLester420''' ideology started spreading even among the locals, as insults were thrown at us, we had allies.
Not everything went smoothly. The 9GAG developers, elected to place a daily limit on how many times a user could post, along with a 10 minutes window between each post or comment. It is widely believed that this was done to prevent undue strain on the single hamster that is responsible for running 9GAG's servers.
 
But this did not stop the proud '''69MoeLester420''' army, which steadily continued its march into enemy territory. It was comforting to see that the '''69MoeLester420''' ideology started spreading even among the locals. Even as insults were thrown against us, we had allies.
 
And then the news broke. The daily upload quota had been reached. No new posts could be made for the next 24 hours. Our troops' advancement has been halted. The movement soon fizzled out.
 
'''Walter''' remains on the site to this day, holding our ground. Further progress into their territory, however, is but a distant dream. 9GAG is a stronghold that not even Reddit's dankest chungi can conquer, its unwholesome users, like a hivemind, ferociously respond to any form of outside aggression. 9GAG will never change, will never die. In spite of our efforts, the terrible site still stands, just as it stood many years ago before the first Redditor breached its walls.


And then the news broke. The daily upload quota has been reached. No new posts could be made for the next 24 hours. Our troops' advancement has been halted. The movement soon fizzled out. '''Walter''' remains on the site to this day, holding our ground, further progress into their territory, however, looks like a distant dream. 9GAG is a stronghold not even Reddit's dankest chungi can take over, its users, like a hivemind, valiantly respond to any form of outside aggression. 9GAG is here to stay, in spite of our efforts, just like it stood for many years before. While more raids would be attempted in the future, it was always with the knowledge that the forces 9GAG would gain the upper hand by the end. There is no winning against these "people". Whatever you may try to do, this is their territory, and they will fight for it with all their might, never surrender, only stopping fighting when the enemy is gone. It doesn't matter how many n-words have to be dropped to achieve that.
While more raids were attempted in the future, it was always with the knowledge that the forces 9GAG would prevail. There is no winning against these "people". Know that 9GAG is their territory, and they will fight to defend it from emoji-users at any cost. It doesn't matter how many n-words have to be dropped to achieve that.


=== The Human Cockroach and the Myth of Sisyphus ===
=== The Human Cockroach and the Myth of Sisyphus ===
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