69MoeLester420: Difference between revisions

=== The Human Cockroach and the Myth of Sisyphus (WARNING, MASS AMOUNTS OF COPE AND SNEED CONTAINED IN THIS SECTION: BE PREPARED) ===

Anyone with the slightest knowledge of Greek mythology should be well aware of the myth of Sisyphus. Punished for his arrogance by the Gods, he is left with the task of pushing a boulder up a steep hill, with the prospect of escaping this punishment lying at the very top. Try as he might, each time the boulder approaches the top of the hill, it rolls back down to where it started, reversing his progress. Yet Sisyphus does not give up. Each time this happens, he rolls the boulder rolls back up, only for it to roll down the hill again. (there was an extra space here and i corrected it, you’re welcome!)

Every good story needs a villain, and you don't make it to 50 server members without making a few enemies. Most of them were your average run-of-the-mill internet assholes, saying the n-word a couple of times or being slightly annoying for a few minutes before promptly vanishing. There is, however, a single user so utterly pathetic, (based) so absolutely devoid of purpose (my purpose is to be an asshole to random people online) that they choose to spend the limited time (i’m actually immortal) that they have on this Earth not only rotting in the dank pits of their gamer dungeon, but to making it their life's mission to mildly annoy (slight understatement considering i have my own fucking wikipedia section lmao) a few Reddit mods. A tragic display of how low a human being can stoop, so infatuated by the smell of its own farts (they smell like ARYAN VRIL) that it is unable for a moment to realize the worthlessness of its own existence. Despite the dozens of times this pest has been banned, they keep coming back like a drug-starved addict that cannot go without their daily hit, using dozens of alt accounts to stay on Reddit, as their reliance on the website is such that even a temporary withdrawal would result in a coma. The very definition of terminally online, (stage 4) this user shall remain unnamed, (it’s the Jewedditor) not for fear of retaliation, but as not to provide them with a drop of satisfaction. (i laughed for 10 minutes straight when i found this and the gc found it hilarious, which it is) Instead, they will be referred to as what they really are: a '''human cockroach''' (lmao) with no value to anyone, one that everyone wishes was just gone, yet one so persistent in its aims that no matter how much you stomp on it, it keeps coming back. One must embrace the '''cockroach''' as an unchanging constant in life, just as Sisyphus may never push the boulder up that sharply sloping hill, so too will this user never be truly removed. Once you embrace the fact that this insect is here to stay, you may indulge in laughter at the pitiful ways it claws for attention. (i have my own wikipedia section lmfao)

On November 11, the '''cockroach''' was first banned on the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit. While the specific reasons were lost to time, (you banned me because i was active in r/RedditMoment) the '''cockroach''''s username, a clear anti-Semitic dog whistle (nice detective work sherlock) (or perhaps just a whistle), as well as its behavior in the following months, leaves racism as the most likely possibility. (TRVE) This first ban did not produce many issues. It would not be until January that our story would truly begin. On January 18 the '''Cockroach''' was banned from the subreddit for a second time. The moment the gavel hit the hardwood and the ban was dealt, the fate of the universe itself was sealed. An eternal nemesis was found, one we may never rid ourselves of—our own boulder to push. (i’m flattered)

On January 19, both '''Walter''' and '''SlenderSmurf''' woke up to find their Reddit accounts temporarily suspended. The reason? Harassment. The '''Cockroach''', the had decided to report its modmail conversation to the Reddit admins. (no the fuck i didnt? lmao) The low-life weasel spent hours provoking the mods, (didn’t happen, meds now.) only to call the teacher the moment someone insulted it back. The punishments, lasting 2 days and a week respectively, were served with dignity, as would be expected from Reddit mods worth their karma. It is important to note that it wasn't the length or even the existence of these bans that was insulting, but rather the fact that someone would stoop so low as to involve the '''Reddit admins''' in the situation. (SLANDER) That is a sign of the lowest breed of man, one so wretched that they would make a deal with Satan himself for rather than admit defeat. Thus did the '''Moederators''' intuit what kind of person they were dealing with, but nothing could prepare them for what came next. (the funniest shit ever)

On February 13, as the encounter with the '''Cockroach''' faded from the '''Moederators'''' memories, an '''image''' was posted to the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit. Not any ordinary image, as one may guess from the fact that its very existence warranted an entire paragraph of text. '''The image''', featuring an uncensored, bloody penis cut in half in an incredibly unclean, gory fashion, was posted nineteen times. Nineteen. That is almost as much as 9+10. (TROLD) This was the '''First Impact''', otherwise known as the '''Penis Gore Incident'''. Such an event is especially dangerous for a small subreddit, as '''r/69MoeLester420''' was at the time, holding less than 5000 members, as an influx of gore on a subreddit where the mods aren't terminally online could very well result in the entire subreddit being banned. The '''MoeLester Nation''' forever stays grateful to '''koonsbmw''' (probably ACKed after seeing the cocks, you are not forgotten) for being the first one on the ground and dealing with the situation in a quick and efficient fashion. Sadly, as one might expect, this was far from the only encounter with the '''Cockroach'''.

Remember that lockdown idea the '''Moederators''' had, way back before the partnership with '''r/IDONTGIVEASWAG''' and '''r/IkeaFreshBalls''' was signed? Simply put, instead of leaving the floodgates of reddit open, each post would have to be approved by the mods. Although it hadn't been implemented before, this situation provided the perfect opportunity to test it out. With the code was already in place, all that was left to do was announce it. By the end of the day, the temporary lockdown had gone into effect <ref> WalterWhiteOnReddit (February 13, 2023). https://www.reddit.com/r/69Moelester420/comments/111jz94/attention_moe_lesters/ ''Reddit.'' </ref>, intended to stop any raids in the following days, until another less intrusive method of moderation was found. At the advice of '''Sam''', still a regular member at the time, a minimum karma limit was set up, filtering out any posts made by new accounts. (unfortunately, this did not work, if it did there would be no need to write an essay about how fucking hilarious i am)

The '''Cockroach''' was far from done. Unbeknownst to the '''Moederators''' at the time, a vile scheme was being planned in the most twisted corners of the internet. A call to arms, intended to bring the Soy Army to the side of the '''Cockroach'''. Unfortunately for it, not even the userbases of such depraved websites as soyjak.party wished to associate themselves with such an insult to what it means to be a human being. <ref> The Cockroach (February 16, 2023) https://soyjak.party/raid/res/33873.html''Soyjak Party.'' </ref> (/raid/ is dead as fuck lmfao, i should’ve just posted on /soy/) Yet even so, it would not give up. On February 16, just as the lockdown was lifted and the new measures were put into place, a post from one of the '''Cockroach''''s alts made its way into the subreddit's mod queue. It was immediately clear that this was not the last we would see of it. Soon after, a GIF captioned "LOL UKRAINE", (provided to me oh so graciously by the Niggedditor, blessed be his name) showing the death of two soldiers in the midst of the ongoing Russo-Ukrainian War, was posted, followed by a text post, written by a friend{{Citation needed}} of the '''Cockroach''', requesting that it be unbanned. (most likely the Niggedditor, blessed be his name) Both posts were quickly removed. This "'''Second Impact'''," proved much easier to bear.

Even though the '''Cockroach''' presented itself as based and red-pilled troll through posts such as these, things could not be further from the truth. As a thread on the thugposting subreddit '''r/wordington'''<ref>The Cockroach (February 14, 2023) https://web.archive.org/web/20230727185559/https://old.reddit.com/r/wordington/comments/1126ct7/deleted_by_user/ ''Reddit.''</ref> shows, a mere day after the original incident, the user tried to explain away the situation by stating that its account was hacked by its friend {{Citation needed}}, sharing a story of less than dubious probability along side it. While this story can neither be verified nor proven false, (this is a complete fucking lie lmfao) the possibility still exists that the '''Cockroach''' was telling the truth. (i wasn’t) But this was far from the only incident involving this user. The threat to spam gore on the server was, by its own admission, sent by the '''Cockroach''' itself, and although it claims not to be responsible for the '''Penis Gore Incident''', (i was) as more raids occurred in the future, some involving sharing material worse than the one sent during the '''First Impact''', it shows that even if it was not the '''Cockroach''' who posted the images, it would still not be out of character for it to have done so on its own.

[[File:CockroachLore6.png|left|thumb|306x306px|An intimidation tactic gracefully evaded. (GOYIM COPE)]]

The '''Moederators''' did not have to wait long for proof of this thesis, as on February 21, the '''Third Impact''' occurred, this time on the server. '''69MoeLester420''' was under attack. And the worst part? We didn't even know about it. A few days before the incident, several users joined the server, seemingly innocuous, they stayed quiet and kept to themselves for the most part, occasionally even interacting with the mods. As the '''Second''' '''Impact''' was still fresh in the mods' minds, the conversation sometimes steered in that direction, with the new users playing along. (this was incredibly funny to witness in person i mind you, getting shittalked by an entire discord is something a man can only dream of. not really, it tends to happen a lot actually. maybe i’m the problem? nah, no way.)

The sleeper agents woke up on February 21. (HEIL JEWCORD, HEIL JEWCORD, HEIL JEWCORD)

While not much remains as the messages were deleted automatically when the offending users were banned, one video remains, saved before the purge by '''Belize''', an edit of the National Victory Celebration held after the conclusion of the Gulf War in 1991 <ref> As confirmed by our local military expert '''koonsbmw'''. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv4ElNBqXXY </ref> with nothing but "RACISM IS NON-NEGOTIABLE" written all over it. There is but a single issue the '''Cockroach''' did not anticipate. (no, i knew this would happen. it was kinda the point actually.) Every time it undertook a raid, additional lines of defense were placed. Just as the subreddit implemented a minimum karma barrier, (jewcordian win) along side other measures to protect from raiders, so too did the server put protections in place in order to prevent this from happening again. The '''Automoderator''' was set up, automatically kicking out any members below the minimum account age. (this was annoying af, i had to use one of the jewcord members alts to see the reactions! fucking assholes.) From then on, it became a question of how long the '''Cockroach''' was willing to wait between each raid. (being a cunt online is my favorite activity) The minimum age could always be raised, and not even the '''Cockroach''' could keep on waiting forever. (i could) The tides had shifted. (they hadn’t)

That is, until March 23, when another volley of posts hit the subreddit. The '''Fourth Impact''' took the form of thirty-six separate bait-and-switch posts which would all cut to a video of a man, covered in shit, stroking his cock. (i laughed for a good 5 minutes after i read this, thanks.) One might wonder, what compels a man to send such a thing? And to that I say, that we are not talking about a human being. Disgusting shock "humor" is the absolute lowest form of comedy, should instill in the poster a great shame, (sneed more) for how do you come to terms with the fact that you have this type of material saved on your device, not because you are sexually attracted to what is being depicted but rather because you find a man masturbating while covered in his own feces so amusing you cannot help but to snort and giggle in your gamer dungeon as if you have just experienced the absolute peak of your pathetic life when you decided to post it not once, but thirty-six separate times on a subreddit with less than 10k members. (lmao) All of this dedicated to achieving an ultimately pointless goal; the banning a small subreddit. Yet the '''Cockroach''' went on. Not even in the darkest pits of SoyBooru could one find a proper portrayal of such an individual. (this is because poopson hasn’t been posted yet) It would almost be funny were it not so tragic. (it’s pretty funny)

In some sense, the '''Cockroach''' does the same. It is aware it will never win. It has been banned instantly many times and yet it keeps trying. It is the modern Sisyphus, determined to continue its endless task, as hopeless as it may seem. It does not care for the prospect of victory anymore. Instead, it finds joy in every n-word it drops, every dead child it posts. It is not the final goal that matters to it anymore, it knows very well that nothing will come out of its stunts, but it is the very process of annoying the mods that gives the '''Cockroach''' life. It is the journey that matters, not the destination. One must imagine the '''Cockroach''' happy.