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Anyone with the slightest knowledge of Greek mythology should be well aware of the myth of Sisyphus. Punished for his arrogance by the Gods, he is left with the task of pushing a boulder up a steep hill, with the prospect of escaping this punishment lying at the very top. Try as he might, each time the boulder approaches the top of the hill, it rolls back down to where it started, reversing his progress. Yet Sisyphus does not give up. Each time this happens, he rolls the boulder rolls back up, only for it to roll down the hill again. <b style="color:red">(there was an extra space here and i corrected it, you’re welcome! <i style="color:blue">(Get this man a Reddit Gold.)</i>)</b> | Anyone with the slightest knowledge of Greek mythology should be well aware of the myth of Sisyphus. Punished for his arrogance by the Gods, he is left with the task of pushing a boulder up a steep hill, with the prospect of escaping this punishment lying at the very top. Try as he might, each time the boulder approaches the top of the hill, it rolls back down to where it started, reversing his progress. Yet Sisyphus does not give up. Each time this happens, he rolls the boulder rolls back up, only for it to roll down the hill again. <b style="color:red">(there was an extra space here and i corrected it, you’re welcome! <i style="color:blue">(Get this man a Reddit Gold.)</i>)</b> | ||
Every good story needs a villain, and you don't make it to 50 server members without making a few enemies. Most of them were your average run-of-the-mill internet assholes, saying the n-word a couple of times or being slightly annoying for a few minutes before promptly vanishing. There is, however, a single user so utterly pathetic, <b style="color:red">(based <i style="color:blue">(Memers don't even say based anymore. We say gem.)</i>)</b> so absolutely devoid of purpose <b style="color:red">(my purpose is to be an asshole to random people online <i style="color:blue">(💔)</i>)</b> that they choose to spend the limited time <b style="color:red">(i’m actually immortal)</b> that they have on this Earth not only rotting in the dank pits of their gamer dungeon, but to making it their life's mission to mildly annoy <b style="color:red">(slight understatement considering i have my own fucking wikipedia section lmao)</b> a few Reddit mods. A tragic display of how low a human being can stoop, so infatuated by the smell of its own farts <b style="color:red">(they smell like ARYAN VRIL)</b> that it is unable for a moment to realize the worthlessness of its own existence. Despite the dozens of times this pest has been banned, they keep coming back like a drug-starved addict that cannot go without their daily hit, using dozens of alt accounts to stay on Reddit, as their reliance on the website is such that even a temporary withdrawal would result in a coma. The very definition of terminally online, <b style="color:red">(stage 4)</b> this user shall remain unnamed, <b style="color:red">(it’s the Jewedditor)</b> not for fear of retaliation, but as not to provide them with a drop of satisfaction. <b style="color:red">(i laughed for 10 minutes straight when i found this and the gc found it hilarious, which it is <i style="color:blue">(It is pretty funny.)</i>)</b> Instead, they will be referred to as what they really are: a '''human cockroach''' <b style="color:red">(lmao)</b> with no value to anyone, one that everyone wishes was just gone, yet one so persistent in its aims that no matter how much you stomp on it, it keeps coming back. One must embrace the '''cockroach''' as an unchanging constant in life, just as Sisyphus may never push the boulder up that sharply sloping hill, so too will this user never be truly removed. Once you embrace the fact that this insect is here to stay, you may indulge in laughter at the pitiful ways it claws for attention. <b style="color:red">(i have my own wikipedia section lmfao)</b> | Every good story needs a villain, and you don't make it to 50 server members without making a few enemies. Most of them were your average run-of-the-mill internet assholes, saying the n-word a couple of times or being slightly annoying for a few minutes before promptly vanishing. There is, however, a single user so utterly pathetic, <b style="color:red">(based) <i style="color:blue">(Memers don't even say based anymore. We say gem.)</i>) (my culture is not your fucking costume, shitcordian)</b> so absolutely devoid of purpose <b style="color:red">(my purpose is to be an asshole to random people online <i style="color:blue">(💔)</i>)</b> that they choose to spend the limited time <b style="color:red">(i’m actually immortal)</b> that they have on this Earth not only rotting in the dank pits of their gamer dungeon, but to making it their life's mission to mildly annoy <b style="color:red">(slight understatement considering i have my own fucking wikipedia section lmao)</b> a few Reddit mods. A tragic display of how low a human being can stoop, so infatuated by the smell of its own farts <b style="color:red">(they smell like ARYAN VRIL)</b> that it is unable for a moment to realize the worthlessness of its own existence. Despite the dozens of times this pest has been banned, they keep coming back like a drug-starved addict that cannot go without their daily hit, using dozens of alt accounts to stay on Reddit, as their reliance on the website is such that even a temporary withdrawal would result in a coma. The very definition of terminally online, <b style="color:red">(stage 4)</b> this user shall remain unnamed, <b style="color:red">(it’s the Jewedditor)</b> not for fear of retaliation, but as not to provide them with a drop of satisfaction. <b style="color:red">(i laughed for 10 minutes straight when i found this and the gc found it hilarious, which it is <i style="color:blue">(It is pretty funny.)</i>)</b> Instead, they will be referred to as what they really are: a '''human cockroach''' <b style="color:red">(lmao)</b> with no value to anyone, one that everyone wishes was just gone, yet one so persistent in its aims that no matter how much you stomp on it, it keeps coming back. One must embrace the '''cockroach''' as an unchanging constant in life, just as Sisyphus may never push the boulder up that sharply sloping hill, so too will this user never be truly removed. Once you embrace the fact that this insect is here to stay, you may indulge in laughter at the pitiful ways it claws for attention. <b style="color:red">(i have my own wikipedia section lmfao)</b> | ||
[[File:CockroachLore1.png|left|thumb|320x320px|The first documented encounter of the '''r/69MoeLester420''' mod staff with the '''Cockroach'''.]] | [[File:CockroachLore1.png|left|thumb|320x320px|The first documented encounter of the '''r/69MoeLester420''' mod staff with the '''Cockroach'''.]] | ||
On November 11, the '''cockroach''' was first banned on the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit. While the specific reasons were lost to time, <b style="color:red">(you banned me because i was active in r/RedditMoment <i style="color:blue">(Hey gamers. Guy who actually banned him here. It was actually because I saw him being generally unfunny on some other shitposting subreddits and being over how unfunny the sub had gotten. Idk why he thinks it has to do with r/RedditMoment. It's not like any of us have a problem with it. Irony Reddit's whole point is making fun of Reddit.)</i>)</b> the '''cockroach''''s username, a clear anti-Semitic dog whistle <b style="color:red">(nice detective work sherlock)</b><b><i style="color:blue">(or perhaps just a whistle)</i></b>, as well as its behavior in the following months, leaves racism as the most likely possibility. <b style="color:red">(TRVE)</b> This first ban did not produce many issues. It would not be until January that our story would truly begin. On January 18 the '''Cockroach''' was banned from the subreddit for a second time. The moment the gavel hit the hardwood and the ban was dealt, the fate of the universe itself was sealed. An eternal nemesis was found, one we may never rid ourselves of—our own boulder to push. <b style="color:red">(i’m flattered)</b> | On November 11, the '''cockroach''' was first banned on the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit. While the specific reasons were lost to time, <b style="color:red">(you banned me because i was active in r/RedditMoment) <i style="color:blue">(Hey gamers. Guy who actually banned him here. It was actually because I saw him being generally unfunny on some other shitposting subreddits and being over how unfunny the sub had gotten. Idk why he thinks it has to do with r/RedditMoment. It's not like any of us have a problem with it. Irony Reddit's whole point is making fun of Reddit.)</i> (the only context you gave me for the ban was “gross reddit moment user” so i just assumed that had something to do with it)</b> the '''cockroach''''s username, a clear anti-Semitic dog whistle <b style="color:red">(nice detective work sherlock)</b><b><i style="color:blue">(or perhaps just a whistle)</i></b>, as well as its behavior in the following months, leaves racism as the most likely possibility. <b style="color:red">(TRVE)</b> This first ban did not produce many issues. It would not be until January that our story would truly begin. On January 18 the '''Cockroach''' was banned from the subreddit for a second time. The moment the gavel hit the hardwood and the ban was dealt, the fate of the universe itself was sealed. An eternal nemesis was found, one we may never rid ourselves of—our own boulder to push. <b style="color:red">(i’m flattered)</b> | ||
On January 19, both '''Walter''' and '''SlenderSmurf''' woke up to find their Reddit accounts temporarily suspended. The reason? Harassment. The '''Cockroach''', the had decided to report its modmail conversation to the Reddit admins. <b style="color:red">(no the fuck i didnt? lmao)</b> The low-life weasel spent hours provoking the mods, <b style="color:red">(didn’t happen, meds now.)</b> only to call the teacher the moment someone insulted it back. The punishments, lasting 2 days and a week respectively, were served with dignity, as would be expected from Reddit mods worth their karma. It is important to note that it wasn't the length or even the existence of these bans that was insulting, but rather the fact that someone would stoop so low as to involve the '''Reddit admins''' in the situation. <b style="color:red">(SLANDER)</b> That is a sign of the lowest breed of man, one so wretched that they would make a deal with Satan himself for rather than admit defeat. Thus did the '''Moederators''' intuit what kind of person they were dealing with, but nothing could prepare them for what came next. <b style="color:red">(the funniest shit ever)</b> | On January 19, both '''Walter''' and '''SlenderSmurf''' woke up to find their Reddit accounts temporarily suspended. The reason? Harassment. The '''Cockroach''', the had decided to report its modmail conversation to the Reddit admins. <b style="color:red">(no the fuck i didnt? lmao)</b> The low-life weasel spent hours provoking the mods, <b style="color:red">(didn’t happen, meds now.)</b> only to call the teacher the moment someone insulted it back. The punishments, lasting 2 days and a week respectively, were served with dignity, as would be expected from Reddit mods worth their karma. It is important to note that it wasn't the length or even the existence of these bans that was insulting, but rather the fact that someone would stoop so low as to involve the '''Reddit admins''' in the situation. <b style="color:red">(SLANDER)</b> That is a sign of the lowest breed of man, one so wretched that they would make a deal with Satan himself for rather than admit defeat. Thus did the '''Moederators''' intuit what kind of person they were dealing with, but nothing could prepare them for what came next. <b style="color:red">(the funniest shit ever)</b> | ||
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The '''Cockroach''' was far from done. Unbeknownst to the '''Moederators''' at the time, a vile scheme was being planned in the most twisted corners of the internet. A call to arms, intended to bring the Soy Army to the side of the '''Cockroach'''. Unfortunately for it, not even the userbases of such depraved websites as soyjak.party wished to associate themselves with such an insult to what it means to be a human being. <ref> The Cockroach (February 16, 2023) https://soyjak.party/raid/res/33873.html''Soyjak Party.'' </ref> <b style="color:red">(/raid/ is dead as fuck lmfao, i should’ve just posted on /soy/ <i style="color:blue">(The Soy Army)</i>)</b> Yet even so, it would not give up. On February 16, just as the lockdown was lifted and the new measures were put into place, a post from one of the '''Cockroach''''s alts made its way into the subreddit's mod queue. It was immediately clear that this was not the last we would see of it. Soon after, a GIF captioned "LOL UKRAINE", <b style="color:red">(provided to me oh so graciously by the Niggedditor, blessed be his name)</b> showing the death of two soldiers in the midst of the ongoing Russo-Ukrainian War, was posted, followed by a text post, written by a friend{{Citation needed}} of the '''Cockroach''', requesting that it be unbanned. <b style="color:red">(most likely the Niggedditor, blessed be his name)</b> Both posts were quickly removed. This "'''Second Impact'''," proved much easier to bear. | The '''Cockroach''' was far from done. Unbeknownst to the '''Moederators''' at the time, a vile scheme was being planned in the most twisted corners of the internet. A call to arms, intended to bring the Soy Army to the side of the '''Cockroach'''. Unfortunately for it, not even the userbases of such depraved websites as soyjak.party wished to associate themselves with such an insult to what it means to be a human being. <ref> The Cockroach (February 16, 2023) https://soyjak.party/raid/res/33873.html''Soyjak Party.'' </ref> <b style="color:red">(/raid/ is dead as fuck lmfao, i should’ve just posted on /soy/ <i style="color:blue">(The Soy Army)</i>)</b> Yet even so, it would not give up. On February 16, just as the lockdown was lifted and the new measures were put into place, a post from one of the '''Cockroach''''s alts made its way into the subreddit's mod queue. It was immediately clear that this was not the last we would see of it. Soon after, a GIF captioned "LOL UKRAINE", <b style="color:red">(provided to me oh so graciously by the Niggedditor, blessed be his name)</b> showing the death of two soldiers in the midst of the ongoing Russo-Ukrainian War, was posted, followed by a text post, written by a friend{{Citation needed}} of the '''Cockroach''', requesting that it be unbanned. <b style="color:red">(most likely the Niggedditor, blessed be his name)</b> Both posts were quickly removed. This "'''Second Impact'''," proved much easier to bear. | ||
[[File:CockroachLore3.png|left|thumb|383x383px|The '''Cockroach'''<nowiki/>'s side of the story, an explanation of why nineteen images of uncensored mutilated genitalia found themselves on the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit.]] | [[File:CockroachLore3.png|left|thumb|383x383px|The '''Cockroach'''<nowiki/>'s side of the story, an explanation of why nineteen images of uncensored mutilated genitalia found themselves on the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit.]] | ||
Even though the '''Cockroach''' presented itself as based and red-pilled troll through posts such as these, things could not be further from the truth. As a thread on the thugposting subreddit '''r/wordington'''<ref>The Cockroach (February 14, 2023) https://web.archive.org/web/20230727185559/https://old.reddit.com/r/wordington/comments/1126ct7/deleted_by_user/ ''Reddit.''</ref> shows, a mere day after the original incident, the user tried to explain away the situation by stating that its account was hacked by its friend {{Citation needed}}, sharing a story of less than dubious probability along side it. While this story can neither be verified nor proven false, <b style="color:red">(this is a complete fucking lie lmfao <i style="color:blue">(This is probably one of my favorite moments in the saga. My man really wanted to protect his Reddit clout.)</i>)</b> the possibility still exists that the '''Cockroach''' was telling the truth. <b style="color:red">(i wasn’t<i style="color:blue">(💔)</i>)</b> But this was far from the only incident involving this user. The threat to spam gore on the server was, by its own admission, sent by the '''Cockroach''' itself, and although it claims not to be responsible for the '''Penis Gore Incident''', <b style="color:red">(i was)</b> as more raids occurred in the future, some involving sharing material worse than the one sent during the '''First Impact''', it shows that even if it was not the '''Cockroach''' who posted the images, it would still not be out of character for it to have done so on its own. | Even though the '''Cockroach''' presented itself as based and red-pilled troll through posts such as these, things could not be further from the truth. As a thread on the thugposting subreddit '''r/wordington'''<ref>The Cockroach (February 14, 2023) https://web.archive.org/web/20230727185559/https://old.reddit.com/r/wordington/comments/1126ct7/deleted_by_user/ ''Reddit.''</ref> shows, a mere day after the original incident, the user tried to explain away the situation by stating that its account was hacked by its friend {{Citation needed}}, sharing a story of less than dubious probability along side it. While this story can neither be verified nor proven false, <b style="color:red">(this is a complete fucking lie lmfao) <i style="color:blue">(This is probably one of my favorite moments in the saga. My man really wanted to protect his Reddit clout.)</i> (i didn’t want to get banned from subs i actually used, so i lied about it. less about “clout” and more about avoiding having to add more subs to the shit list.)</b> the possibility still exists that the '''Cockroach''' was telling the truth. <b style="color:red">(i wasn’t<i style="color:blue">(💔)</i>)</b> But this was far from the only incident involving this user. The threat to spam gore on the server was, by its own admission, sent by the '''Cockroach''' itself, and although it claims not to be responsible for the '''Penis Gore Incident''', <b style="color:red">(i was)</b> as more raids occurred in the future, some involving sharing material worse than the one sent during the '''First Impact''', it shows that even if it was not the '''Cockroach''' who posted the images, it would still not be out of character for it to have done so on its own. | ||
[[File:CockroachLore4.png|thumb|The '''Cockroach''' returns, full of himself as always, it even prepared a ''Little Dark Age'' edit to share with its favorite mod team.]] | [[File:CockroachLore4.png|thumb|The '''Cockroach''' returns, full of himself as always, it even prepared a ''Little Dark Age'' edit to share with its favorite mod team.]] | ||
[[File:CockroachLore5.png|left|thumb|383x383px|Testing, testing... The '''Automoderator''' is up and running. Showcased here are the first three cases documented by the bot, the bans of the '''Cockroach''' as well as its friends{{Citation needed}}. The usernames have been edited, as the '''Moederators''' do not wish for any readers of this article to harass what clearly are children.]] | [[File:CockroachLore5.png|left|thumb|383x383px|Testing, testing... The '''Automoderator''' is up and running. Showcased here are the first three cases documented by the bot, the bans of the '''Cockroach''' as well as its friends{{Citation needed}}. The usernames have been edited, as the '''Moederators''' do not wish for any readers of this article to harass what clearly are children.]] | ||
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In some sense, the '''Cockroach''' does the same. It is aware it will never win. It has been banned instantly many times and yet it keeps trying. It is the modern Sisyphus, determined to continue its endless task, as hopeless as it may seem. It does not care for the prospect of victory anymore. Instead, it finds joy in every n-word it drops, every dead child it posts. It is not the final goal that matters to it anymore, it knows very well that nothing will come out of its stunts, but it is the very process of annoying the mods that gives the '''Cockroach''' life. It is the journey that matters, not the destination. One must imagine the '''Cockroach''' happy. | In some sense, the '''Cockroach''' does the same. It is aware it will never win. It has been banned instantly many times and yet it keeps trying. It is the modern Sisyphus, determined to continue its endless task, as hopeless as it may seem. It does not care for the prospect of victory anymore. Instead, it finds joy in every n-word it drops, every dead child it posts. It is not the final goal that matters to it anymore, it knows very well that nothing will come out of its stunts, but it is the very process of annoying the mods that gives the '''Cockroach''' life. It is the journey that matters, not the destination. One must imagine the '''Cockroach''' happy. | ||
<b style="color:red">(and yet, did i lose? your subreddit is shut down, idontgiveaswag is dead as fuck, and i’m sitting here laughing my ass off at an entire fucking essay written about my trolling. oh well, food for thought! <i style="color:blue">(Shutting the subreddit down was an epic win though. Reddit is for losers, even more than Discord is.)</i>)</b> | <b style="color:red">(and yet, did i lose? your subreddit is shut down, idontgiveaswag is dead as fuck, and i’m sitting here laughing my ass off at an entire fucking essay written about my trolling. oh well, food for thought!) <i style="color:blue">(Shutting the subreddit down was an epic win though. Reddit is for losers, even more than Discord is.)</i> (holy cope)</b> <i style="color:blue">(Redditcels seething.)</i> | ||
===The End of The High Priest=== | ===The End of The High Priest=== | ||