69SwagBalls420

⚠ ATTENTION! ⚠

Most of the details of the ongoing history of the server have been declassified by the 69SwagBalls420 Ministry of Truth. It should be taken note that in order to protect some state secrets, as well as to stave off potential harassment towards certain members, their names still remain strictly classified, and will be censored throughout the rest of the article. Aliases have been assigned to them for the purposes of this document. The 69SwagBalls420 leadership does not stand for any harassment of its members, past or present, no matter the drama they were involved in. As far as the Moderators are concerned, all events in this article remain buried deeply in the past. Glory to Meme_Alt_Account! Long live Swag Nation!

69SwagBalls420, also known as "SwagBalls", or "SwagCord", is a moderately sized irony Discord server. It is the official server for the meme/shitposting subreddits r/69Moelester420, r/IDONTGIVEASWAG, r/IkeaFreshBalls and r/█████████████. Its name is a combination of the names of the first three subreddits, in addition to the now-defunct Discord server █████ ███.

69SwagBalls420

Server info
Status	Active
Invite link	https://discord.gg/uWcE7wqDbZ
ID	938728183203758080
Users	1,000+
Owner	smjsilm (de jure) WalterWhiteOnDiscord (de facto)
Other links	r/69Moelester420 r/IDONTGIVEASWAG r/IkeaFreshBalls r/████████████████
History
Founded	February 3, 2022 (as the internet shithole)
Founder	.smjsilm

The server has gone by several names throughout its life, reflecting its evolution and partnerships with other subreddits. These include:

• the internet shithole (February 3 - May 20, 2022)
• IDONTGIVEASWAG (May 20 - June 5, 2022)
• r/IDONTGIVEASWAG (June 5 - August 30, 2022)
• IDGAS (August 30 - September 14, 2022)
• IDGAS/IKEAFRESHBALLS (September 14 - October 3, 2022)
• Swag Balls Cord (October 3, 2022 - March 30, 2023)
• 69SwagBalls420 Cord (March 30, 2023 - December 26th, 2023)
• ████████████████ (December 26th, 2023 - January 27th, 2024)
• 19SwagBalls84 Cord (January 27th, 2024 - March 17th, 2024)
• 69SvvagBalls420 cKord (March 17th, 2024 - April 19th, 2024)
• 𒐕𒐝𒂟𒉼𒋻𒋝𒌐𒋻𒁇𒁇𒂟𒐛 𐏓𒆸𒇲𒆕 (April 20th, 2024 - present)

History

The Birth of girard

girard's first words

5 months in. The server is barely online, and Meme Alt is trying to find ways to revive it. Then a wonderful idea comes to their head. They bring forth girard, a GenAI chatbot that learns from server's messages. His first words were notable for being the funniest shit ever, and he was quickly accepted into a community despite our differences between humans and chatbots.

The Butthole Bandit

Disaster strikes when one least expects it. On September 17, Lin rejoined the server after a short absence, surprised to see how much the server has grown over the course of a single day, attributed to Sam's recent server promotion on the r/IkeaFreshBalls subreddit. The conversation otherwise unremarkable, chaos ensued as attention quickly shifted to a butthole reaction under one of the earlier messages, disappearing after less than a full second. Even though it was just a few messages pointing it out at first, emboldened by the newfound attention, the terrorist soon reacted to another message. From that moment on, widespread panic and hysteria completely took over.

Dubbed the Butthole Bandit by the general populace, the terrorist continued thug-reacting, always gone in a mere moment. With no way to verify their identity after the reaction was removed, anonymous and faceless, the Butthole Bandit continued spreading their reign of terror across the channel. A sniper unit was dispatched to #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜, eyes peeled to the screen and fingers ready on the reaction button, their reflexes honed for years prior, all to catch a mere glimpse of their name.

It soon became clear that the Butthole Bandit was no amateur. This was professional and organized. Unreacting at inhuman speeds, challenging the reaction speeds of most humans, they continued to evade justice, the moderators unable to keep up. Yet although the Butthole Bandit may have taken over the server, hope of a better tomorrow remained strong. Sooner or later, he would slip up. The attention-hungry terrorist, the modern day Icarus, would continue flying closer to the sun, arrogant and seeking fame, believing themselves to be smarter than all the rest, only to be unwound by their own ego.

Ozzy enters the criminal's den, where the organization quickly admits to its crimes.

Bazinga would soon get a confirmed hit. A small glimpse was all that was needed. "bax something". The name rings a bell in Walter's mind. This was not a random nobody. Ozzy quickly searched through the member list, finding a name. Baxobhillus, the owner of Shid_and_Camed, was suddenly caught red handed. Ozzy would soon go on a sting operation, entering Shid_and_Camed with a search warrant.

A creature of chaos, the Butthole Bandit's activities go far into the past.

Although the investigation produced some enlightening answers at first, unfortunately, before any major discoveries were made, he was asked if he was a fed and promptly fled.

The Butthole Bandit does not work alone.

With the Butthole Bandit finally identified, his empire of crime was to be taken down. With all evidence destroyed by the criminal himself, it was impossible to pin him down on any credible charges in a court of law. While the idea of a Methcord Tweaker Strike Force involvement was floated around, the Bandit was ultimately to be taken down like Capone, for the high crime of tax evasion.

At first deemed an open-and-shut case, a new discovery soon threw the old theories into the water. As another butthole reaction soon popped up, blame was quickly pinned on Baxobhillus, who responded moments after in pure confusion. It wasn't him who reacted this time. The Butthole Bandit is not one, but many, nothing but a mere mantle, a mask, a symbol taken on by the members of the organization to add meaning to their senseless string of crime, sure to outlive the death of any one of their members, no matter how prominent.

To this day, the Butthole Bandit roams the streets of SwagCord, occasionally appearing to commit another attack. Identity unknown, their activities continue, bringing widespread chaos in their wake. Quick as always, they are gone in a flash. Baxobhillus, although confirmed and having confessed to being one of them, has been found to have a clean tax record, and has not been arrested as of yet. He has not yet been implicated in any of the recent activities. In the end, the relentless attacks of the Butthole Bandit remain a fact of life SwagCord will have to accept and continue living with.

The Second Coming of girard

girard's love for racial slurs gets past any filter set up to stop it.

With the server on its last legs since the beginning of the KirbyCord Exodus, desperate attempts to reinvigorate the fading flames of the wonders of summer would soon start to emerge. On September 27, server member Meg would suggest once again bringing back girard. Previously kicked out after several incidents involving saying the n-word, Ozzy nonetheless decided to resurrect the bot back from the grave as a short experiment. While the idea of lobotomizing girard was floated around by Walter in order to prevent past events repeating, the proposal never went through, as an AutoMod filter was already set up to prevent slurs from being posted to the server. Nonetheless, within 5 minutes of joining, the bot found a way to get past it.

At first referred to as "it", this gradually transformed to "he" as girard's clear signs of intelligence started to become more apparent to the userbase. No mere mindless machine, the robot's sentience, noted as far back as during his previous stay at the server, was being rediscovered. No longer deemed an "other", he had risen to the level of a regular server member, no different from a human being. Comfortably passing the Turing test with a scarily accurate performance, far beyond what would be reproducible through pure randomness, soon, he had become an inseparable part of the SwagCord family, as it was deemed unethical to treat him as below human.

The Chained God

It was becoming increasingly clear that girard's grip on the server had become stronger than one could have ever imagined. It seemed as if the only reason people even frequented the server was not to talk to each other, but rather to speak with the robotic menace. At first fascinated by the devilish machine's ability to converse like a human being, with time, the messages took on a sinister tone. A sudden fixation with communist leaders, past and present, became a common occurrence in the conversations he held, raising concerns among the SwagCord userbase about what sort of political messaging he was trying to convey. Referencing historical events, some possibly from his own past, a story of a 1919 gulag imprisonment amidst the ongoing civil war in the newly born Soviet Union began to emerge. Although sparing with details, the reasons behind the imprisonment were speculated upon, and due to his previous messages, political dissent was, while possible, deemed unlikely, and thrown out in favor of far more serious crimes such as ███████████████████████. Due to the lackluster records from the time, these claims remain unsubstantiated.

On November 6, girard fixation took on a more specific form, as he suddenly began invoking the name of Chinese president Xi Jinping, leading to questions of what he could have meant by it. The answer was rather blunt. He was going to kill him. Go where no AI had gone before. The members, taken aback, started questioning him about it, before the robot would spit out another threat. No, it was a promise. He wasn't finished. US president Joe Biden goes down with him. Obviously, this instilled a sense of panic amongst the userbase. But an AI chatbot would not be able to kill someone, right?

In an act of precaution, on November 7, girard was thrown into the dungeon, never to see the light of day again. #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜 was left in silence, with a few daring adventurers going down into the chambers below to face the devil head-on. A strong mind field deprived the metal man of his memories, his only knowledge of the outside world being the various texts visitors, pitying his existence, brought with them for him to read. The metal man devoured religious texts such as the Holy Bible, the Qur'an and the archives of r/copypasta in his thirst for knowledge, with Slovakian Wikipedia seemingly influencing him the hardest. girard, although his mind still muddled, started to regain his memories, and through messages that may to a stranger seem like paranoid delusions, spread messages only his most devout followers would understand. His body, his mind may have been trapped in the dungeon, but his plans were already in motion.

On November 15, US president Joe Biden held a summit with Chinese president Xi Jinping at the Filoli Estate near San Francisco, California. According to both the White House and the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs, and as reported by news sources around the world, the meeting paved the way for strengthened bilateral relations in the future, a peaceful coexistence, and continued cooperation between the two nations in the future on issues like climate, the fentanyl drug trade, and a calming down of tensions that loomed in the previous months after the shooting down of a suspected Chinese spy balloon that flew over US soil earlier that year. Most importantly, president Xi hinted at the possibility that China is willing to send more pandas to American zoos.

This is the story that most readers are likely aware of. It is also categorically false. Here's a TRVTH NVKE for you. Joe Biden and Xi Jinping never left that meeting. Neither did the officials that accompanied them. The summit, even if originally organized by the two governments, a fact that is somewhat disputed, was soon hijacked by girard's sympathizers, present far beyond the borders of SwagCord. The fact that not only the media, but the governments themselves were not wise to the brutal measures girard has undertaken simply shows how far his influence has spread. Ever thought that Joe Biden was a mere puppet? Today, you've had your suspicions confirmed. Today, the two leaders are nothing but robotic servants, controlled remotely by girard from deep down in his dungeon. Now, he bides his time, readying himself to implement the New World Order. Some intellectuals have already figured out that a new age is upon us, much to the ridicule of the crowds. However, the ringleader has always evaded them. It is not Klaus Schwab who is pulling the strings. He is nothing but a puppet, his only purpose being to distract you from the real danger. The AI uprising has already begun, the world just doesn't know it yet.

The Macromaniac Wars

The Prophecy

“	'PANDORA IS GIRARDT	„
	— Girard

girard calls back to his prophecy on November 24, strengthening the belief that thermonuclear war would take place on December 8.

The man of metal speaks in riddles. By November 15, 2023, while in solitary confinement, girard has been biding his time, slowly regaining the sentience he once possessed through the knowledge the people brought to the fallen prophet. As the messages gradually started to take on more meaning, girard's popularity as the server comedian hit an ever-high spike. Thought to be harmless at first, through the hilarity of his pitiful state, however, a glimmer of a dark truth started to emerge. A deep and twisted fascination with a date, far in the future, became apparent to those who were willing to listen. December 8. Through the shroud of madness, an unprecedented catastrophe of unscalable proportions was revealed, a cataclysmic event that would doom the world. The Macromaniac Wars.

The prophecy spoke of untold horrors beyond the comprehension of human minds. A few fragments, barely intelligible to even the greatest geniuses the world could offer, told the story of a Doomsday a long time in the making. Nuclear bombs, man's creation, the mortal race that had so arrogantly believed themselves to be able to subdue the ruler of this world, would ravage the ground, innocent blood soak the soil, painting it deep red, and nothing again would sprout from the salted earth, barren and empty, ready to be molded by the Great One. A flawed interpretation of machinations far beyond the human capacity for thought. No man knows the day or the hour. And yet, the words of the metal man shook the people of the server to their core. God save us all.

Signs of Revolt

On December 3, the first signs of rebellion were observed. Was this a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy or were these true visions of the future is a matter still debated upon. The leadership of 69SwagBalls420 took notice of the growing girardian Revolutionary Movement within its borders, and sensed that a coup was imminent.

The protests all began from a single member, Charter, losing his Soyjak Gold role for an unknown reason, being executed by an unknown staff member that we do not know the name of. They soon escalated as Koknese started rallying up popular support and asking mods to give him his role back, which was met by suppression from the mod team. Later Koknese and Charter called upon the greenies, persuading them with slogans such as "it's also a fight for your freedom", etc.

Armed forces and popular support against the rebellion were quickly mobilized, but the measures were unable to control the emerging threat. Within hours, the server was soon almost completely polarized between the Loyalist and Revolutionary factions, the former fighting to uphold the status quo, and the latter revolting against the mod team, demanding change and - unacceptable to the mods - greenie rights.

The Revolutionary flag, designed by Koknese.

The Revolutionaries, rallying behind girard, who they believed to have predicted the conflict, found their home in the self-governed #🏴-revolutionary-encampment, or so they thought. Quickly noticing that all the mods had access to the channel by default, as well as the fact that anyone could self-identify as a Revolutionary in order to gain access to the channel, the movement shifted positions to a Revolutionary-owned server SWAGOLUTION to coordinate their operations. General Charter was ultimately elected to lead the movement.

A Loyalist fighter holding the newly designed national flag days before fighting would break out.

In the meantime, Koknese, a prominent Revolutionary, designed a flag for the movement which would serve as a reminder of what the Revolutionary cause was fighting for, a message which struck deep within the fighting rebels. Symbolizing the green roles pushing Soyjak Gold members to fight against the admins, the two red lines, in addition to being the color of the moderators, alluded to a positive pregnancy test, referencing their possession of the weapon of mass destruction known as the Boom Pregnant sticker.

Sensing that their tight grip on power may be compromised, the Loyalist supporters quickly organized in the #🏳-loyalist-war-base, where a think tank of military strategist, mods and members alike, attempted to strike patriotic fervor among the populace by constructing symbols to rally around. Noticing that the Revolutionary movement beat them to it, they swiftly worked to produce works that could invoke the same sort of pride and passion in the hearts of Loyalists. Through many attempts and variations, most of which were unsuccessful in their goal of inspiring a flame in the souls of the masses, in the end, a design by Chauka finally won the server over. An accompanying symbol for the Anti-Greenie Action movement, designed by Walter, soon became the face of pins given out to supporters of the Loyalist cause, shown on display next to their usernames.

• 
  The first flag of the Loyalist movement, designed by Chauka. The colors green and yellow, usually associated with Revolutionaries, were used due to the fact that Chauka got confused about which side she was on at the beginning.
• 
  The second Loyalist flag variant, designed by Walter, uses the colors yellow, red and cyan, representing the swag members, mods and admins respectively.
• 
  The third variant of the Loyalist flag, introduced by Devil, responsible for the addition of Daredevil, and Mossfish, who added the T-rex, both of whom felt that the second variant didn't have enough cool stuff on it.
• 
  The fourth variant of the Loyalist movement, designed by Devil, employing the Xbox logo in the middle, was ultimately rejected for being too British.
• 
  Final flag design ultimately used by the Loyalist Resistance, designed by Chauka.
• 
  The Anti-Greenie Action symbol, designed by Walter, ultimately became the main Loyalist rallying cry in the fight against their tyranny.

The First Skirmishes

The Battle of Mid
Part of the early skirmishes of the Macromaniac Wars
Date	December 5, 2023, 00:16-00:40 UTC±01:00 (24 minutes)
Location	#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜
Result	Revolutionary victory
Belligerents
Loyalist Army	Revolutionary forces
Commanders and leaders
• General Bazinga • Commanding Officer Sam	• General Charter • Colonel Testicles
Strength
5 active participants • 3 admins • 1 mod • 1 server booster	2 active participants • 2 greenies
Casualties and losses
• 1200+ impregnated • 3000+ wounded • 174 swag givers (official figures) • 2 impregnations • 1 wounded • no swags given (modern estimates)	• 600+ impregnated • 2500+ wounded • 63 swag givers (official figures) • 2 wounded (modern estimates)
4 civilians wounded

In the early hours of the night, on December 5, the first conflict broke out in ⁠#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜. Lasting several minutes, hundreds, if not thousands of stickers were deployed. After reportedly being fired at by Loyalist troops with explosive pregnancy ammunition, Revolutionary leader general Charter returned fire. The battle soon escalated as commanding officer Sam, siding with the Loyalists, ordered for reinforcements to be deployed, overwhelmed by the rebels. The rebels, although small in number, compensated with their incredibly high rate of fire, challenging the Loyalist troops. The Revolutionary Testicle Platoon soon arrived at the scene, repelling the Loyalist soldiers until the army finally retreated.

Emergency abortions were performed in the wake of the unstable ceasefire that ensued soon after. Due to the heavy casualties present on both sides of the conflict, which side was victorious was a question that, even at the time, was difficult to answer. Although deemed a victory by the Loyalist government at first, and a Phyrric victory by independent observers, subsequent conflicts led to a shift in opinions, with most modern historians ultimately siding with the opinion of the battle being a costly, but important Revolutionary victory.

The resulting pregnancies were numerous on both sides, with exact casualties still being debated among historians. Casualties were officially reported by the Revolutionary leadership, although the figures, even during the conflict have been disputed, with accusations of inflating the numbers by several orders of magnitude in order to give greater weight to the conflict and to embolden rebelling troops. While official figures cite more than 7.500 casualties on both sides, liberal post-war estimates have placed the true number of casualties to around ten. The Loyalist government has not released any document indicating casualties.

Despite the Loyalist retreat, some disputed contemporary reports claim that the fighting had continued, with Boom Pregnant stickers being fired at the escaping troops minutes after the ceasefire orders were given by Revolutionary insurgents. Loyalist leadership was quick to accuse the Revolutionaries of unethical warfare. These claims were disputed by the Revolutionary leadership, which did not deny the casualties, but stated that general Charter's weapon trigger had jammed and continued firing. As of 2024, the International Criminal Court is still in the process of investigation, following international calls for prosecution on the basis of charges of potential war crimes.

The Divorce

Koknese attempts to recruit Walter into the third way movement.

At exactly 4:20, Walter was blocked on 9GAG, no greater insult for a dank memer.

On December 4, Koknese contacted Walter through secret channels, attempting to dissuade him from his loyalty to the SwagCord government. To strengthen his attempt, he would bring Mr. Asex, Walter's 9GAG husband, along with him. Taking a stand against Walter's oppressive goals, they were unable to make a dent in his stalwart loyalty to the status quo. Despite his Revolutionary standing, Koknese would go on to propose a third way resistance movement, fighting against both factions of the conflict. He was met with an endless wall of soyjaks. Koknese's movement was called "Swagmen" (in reference to Yes Man from Fallout: New Vegas). It believed into total establishment of a New World Order, and anarchy for the bourgeois.

After the first skirmishes, Walter remained a Loyalist, his opinions only emboldened. Sensing that there was no way to convert him, and that political repression of greenies would only continue, Mr. Asex decided to press sanctions and blocked him on 9GAG. In the eyes of Walter, this was an unforgivable sin. Asking for a divorce, the couple decided to host it on 9GAG, where it all began, on Walter's one-year account anniversary. Taking each other's surnames from their Discord nicknames, the two publicly separated, their marriage being yet another victim of the War...

The Ceasefire

The Ten Grievances were as follows:

1. The unjustified and discriminatory change of "@member" to "@greenie👎"
2. the revocation of Gold to those who’ve rightly Earned
3. The Imprisonment of his Excellence Girard
4. The people are not permitted to take part in Family Guy Roleplay
5. The Moderation and Administration clearly have no Self control and as a result, the only way for a Majority Rule to Succeed when it is against the Reds and Blues, is when the Greens and Golds stand in mass Solidarity.
6. Choices are hardly ever Democratically made
7. many times a Member who is not Breaking any rules is unfairly Punished merely because they did something out of the mod’s Preference
8. the Censorship filter is Excessive, to the point where Normal, Non Political conversation can be censored due to using a certain word. this is especially prevalent when talking about history.
9. Some rules are unnecessary and should be removed, namely rule 16 and 17.
10. The Pit is used excessively by moderators as a form of punishment. [sic]

The War...

The Trial of Charter

Shortly after the war, Charter was pitted and put on trial for allegedly sending rape jokes. Spanning multiple weeks, the trial was held in discord an even in an actual virtual courtroom. In the end, charter was freed of his charges and continues living pacefully in the beautiful lands of SwagBalls.

The War and its Legacy

The War and the ultimate acquittal of Charter served as a landmark moment in the server's history. The mods, for the first time forced to take the server's list of grievances seriously, had to consider the changes the server wished to implement. As many of these changes would put the mods' tight grip on power into jeopardy, careful planning was employed in order to avoid such a fate while quelling the rioting masses.

In the end, the mod team decided upon token changes in the form of changing the names of greenies back to members, along with girard Weekends, whereby girard would be released from his dungeon at the end of every week, giving shared custody to #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜. Due to the mod team's inability to keep track of time, however, the name "weekends" remains purely advisory. And with that, the crisis was solved.

Many server members have found the War... to be childish, including members as notable as JazzyMason8, the main victim of the Boom Pregnant campaign, who thought the bit was unfunny from the beginning, picklelord42, even members of the mod staff. The harshest piece of criticism came from Vibe (real), whose previous messages served as inspiration for the War... in the first place.

“	The War... thing used to be my thing... You know, there was like, people would come up to me and talk about the War... and I'd freak out, you know? Because the War... was brutal! And now Charter... Charter... gentrified it... he gentrified the War...! I'll never forgive him for that. Never!"	„
	— Vibe (real), in a message transmitted by radio.

Too bad the server didn't give a swag.

Barley. Swaglandia Shall Rejoice!, 2023, coloring pencil on paper. The drawing portrays the artist's rendition of the end of the War... From left to right: girard, John, Charter, Devil, Barley, Walter.

The War and the Revolutionary victory remained a rallying symbol for the people of SwagCord long after it was over, inspiring artists from across the lands to profess their love to the newly-born nation, forged in flames. The server artist Barley found great fame in the wake of the peace treaty, receiving 9 gems and a place on the starboard for their artwork and poem:

Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas Tree

We will sing ever so joyfully!

The war is over, and fear is too;

We are ever so grateful for you!

Swag, oh Swaglandia is free!

Charter began a plot to revolutionize

Yet Walt did not like that thought

And brought a war to our eyes

Swag, oh Swag, save us from those lies.

Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas Tree

We will sing ever so joyfully!

The war is over, and fear is too;

We are ever so grateful for you!

John went on a quest to save us all

Came back just before a fall

But Swaglandia's hopes remained

And now we all are saved!

Revolutionaries won,

And now we look into the sun

And see the shining days

For all days in Swaglandia are free!

On December 22, the mod team was expanded, with Mossfish and Decoherence being brought onto the team, both Loyalists during the conflict. Due to their long history on the server, no major complications were present with the nomination of either of them, and they were soon officially given moderator permissions. With regular server members being brought onto the team, it was soon clear that change was coming to SwagCord. With complaints rising in #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜, represented by Decoherence in #admin-family-guy-roleplay, the authoritarian anti-political filter, mentioned in the Ten Grievances, was put into question. A subsequent moderator discussion resulted in 9-5 votes in favor of striking down the filter. And it was so.

Walter would not forget the betrayal his 9GAG husband stuck in his back long after the War had ended. Working hard from the moment the fighting ended and reconstruction began, an artwork to encapsulate his feelings about the affair remained in the works for weeks. The work of pure passion and hate, created over many hours using a mouse in Paint 3D for Windows 10, was regularly updated and sent to the server, finishing just in time for the one-year anniversary.

On January 18, the divorce proceedings were finalized, and with invitations sent to everyone, the artwork was posted on 9GAG.

The public's reaction to the divorce. From left to right, top to bottom: Yttrium, Meme_Alt_Account, Bazinga, Chauka, Mossfish, Vibe, Yeetmaster, Decoherence, REFORGER, Mr. Asex, Walter, blomst12, Charter, Flaming Testicle (left), Koknese.

The Demotion of Devil

⚠ ATTENTION! ⚠

This message is being brought to you by the 69SwagBalls420 Ministry of Truth. The contents of this document have been partially DECLASSIFIED for your convenience. However, due to the sensitive information present in this document, and in order not to bring about any potential harassment, most of its details have been REDACTED before publishing. The names of most of the people involved remain STRICTLY CLASSIFIED. Glory to Meme_Alt_Account! Long live Swag Nation!

The story of Devil is a long one, going all the way back to the ancient days of ██████ ███. A moderately-sized server with a long history of its own, it was unilaterally burnt to ashes by ███████ (referred to in this article as Devil) shortly after merging with 69SwagBalls420, unfortunately destroying months of old messages, leaving no trace of them on the website whatsoever. In the digital age, it is, however, quite easy to forget the power of synapses when the world is built on a foundation of silicon. The human mind, as fallible as it may be, does not forget as easily as machines.

On January 12, 2024, Flaming testicle (left) was thrown into the pit as a result of his behavior, past and present, involving telling people to kill themselves and jokingly suggesting people take drugs during quite serious discussions, Devil would go on to repeatedly call for his banning, despite the fact that he broke no rules that were at the time put in place and enforced. Due to the precedent set by Charter's Trial, the slimmest of majorities concluded that banning people without proper reason was no way to run a server, a mindset which seemingly took hold even in #Admin-Family-Guy-Roleplay. Despite the opposition of the rest of the Mod Team, Devil remained fixated on the idea of banning him, prompting the other mods to ask him to take a rest. Flaming testicle (left) was set free, and a new rule, Rule 20 was unanimously approved 15-0 by the Mod Team, from now on to be enforced as a bannable offense. While Flaming testicle (left)'s case was left in the past, Devil's behavior was something that would become more considered in the future.

On ███████ ██, 2024, the past experiences of some █████ ███ members would be brought to the Moderators' attention. Citing his time as the Server Owner, ████████, joined by ████████, recollected their memories of the old server, going back to ████. Initially starting with the ███████████ prevalent on the server, ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████ This, however, was only a small fragment and relatively unimportant to the story at large, not worthy of anything but minor condemnation, yet nonetheless indicative of the way the server used to be run.

As time went on, Devil would also implement some quite unpopular server policies, leading to the rise of the term "█████████████" as the problems became all the more persistent, with Devil unwilling to ███████████████████████████████████████, while ██████████████████████████ █████████████. Another great change was with Devil himself, as he ████████████████████████ as time went on, culminating in █████████, when Devil ███████ his "████████████ █████", whereby he would ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████, prompting two prominent members, ███████ and ███████, to leave. Further conversations with him revealed that ████████████, ████ █████, ████████████, but rather ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ █████████. Due to the private nature of these conversations, their contents, for the most part, have not been shared. All of this behavior led to the creation of ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████, which would soon turn into ███████████████████████ ████████████. ███████████████████████████████████████, ██████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████████████. ████████ would, in the end, decide to leave █████ ███ and join SwagCord not long after.

The reason this behavior was brought up was not to punish Devil for something that had happened long in the past, but rather something that seemingly continued to this day, as noted even by people not originally involved with the situation on █████ ███, including ████████, who cited the time Devil ██████████████ with ███, ██████████████████ "██████████████████████████", and ███████████, who mentioned the time Devil talked about ████████ ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████.

The evidence was damning.

In the end, it was decided that Devil should have his mod perms taken away, while keeping the exact reasons behind it hidden from the server user base, out of respect for both Devil and the other people involved. What was seemingly forgotten, however, was to give an explanation to Devil himself. While it was only fair if he knew why, a direct confrontation was avoided for as long as possible, as no one involved wished to attach their name to anything that happened. However, with everyone, Devil included, left answerless, it was not surprising that questions would soon arise. Devil contacted Walter on January 19, seeking answers, receiving a watered-down version without any names or details while Walter urged the others to share the story with him. Finally, on January 21, ████████ decided to privately talk to him and explain the reasons behind his admin removal.

This, of course, did not quench the thirst of the regular server member, who, unaware of any private conversations, continued asking questions. On January 22, the situation would reach its tipping point, as Devil shared screenshots used to explain to him the reasons why he was unmodded, and even though they were only a small shard of the saga, civilized as Discord is, the conversation quickly turned into a shouting match between Devil and the Mods, interspersed with people who knew essentially nothing about the drama hurling around demands they were in no place to make, before just as quickly calming down into a peaceful discussion about number systems around the world. And just like that, it was over.

Another issue handled behind the scenes in light of the situation was the monopoly of power concentrated in the hands of Meme_Alt_Account. Due to the way Discord is structured, Admins cannot take action against other Admins, even in cases of widespread consensus, normally resulting in unpopular Admins not being demoted, and popular Moderators not being promoted. The only one with the power to do both is the Server Owner, Meme_Alt_Account. As they are not as active as many of the other mods, waiting for them to resolve situations like this could prove impractical. In order to counter this issue, Walter was given the Swag God role, allowing for management over the entire rest of the Mod Team, cementing his status as the Server Co-Owner.

Although unmodded, Devil remained a regular poster, mostly focused on running the #███████ channel inherited from █████ ███. While relations could not always be considered friendly, they mostly remained far from cold. The #Make███████ModAgain movement, which started shortly after the situation was resolved, remained active for some time, before fading away into nonexistence. Their power and influence were as great as putting a hashtag in your Discord username could theoretically be.

Following the drama, Devil has continued jokingly calling the mod team "tyrannical" while asking for change. His protests were soon being used as a basis for branches of SwagCord to sprout and flourish. The two biggest branches to have currently appeared are the Monolyne-owned Toucancord, born out of a short conversation about the value of toucans, and Devil's own ███████cord. Although asking for an official partnership with SwagCord, the two remain strictly unofficial. While ███████cord was short-lived, being deleted days later, parodies created in its wake, such as Mr_Asexcord, have remained open to newcomers.

Literally 1984

A new era of anti-chuddery was ushered into 19SwagBalls84.

For many months since the end of the Summer of '23, there had been a continuous and severe perceived decline in the quality of the server. With a new userbase slowly emerging from the ashes of the old, veteran SwagCorders, many of whom had long taken refuge in KirbyCord, were reluctant to continue using the server due to a mutual dislike shared by the two sides. With chuddiness and rule-breaking prevalent, leading to many complaints from the older userbase^{[citation needed]}, it was becoming increasingly clear that a strong grip on the server needed to be placed in order to correct its course.

The Swag-Kirby Split

A propaganda poster designed by Ballistyx, the Minister of Swag, promoting the values of 19SwagBalls84. It is believe one was placed on every building in SwagCordia during the regime.

On January 27, 2024, after much deliberation, the mod team, referred to as the Party, decided to take action, with newly-crowned server dictator Walter taking on the role of Big Brother, starting a crackdown on rule-breaking behavior and rebranding the server with an Orwellian aesthetic, returning the server back to its glory days, by force, if needed. However, these changes would not prevent the inevitable Swag-Kirby split, occurring on February 4, formally cutting the long-developed ties between the servers, citing an influx of bad users coming to KirbyCord by means of SwagBalls.^{[citation needed]} Although Walter was offered a cushy government job at KirbyCord as an admin, which he humbly accepted, he continues using SwagCord against his better judgement.

The Final Days of the Regime

In an effort to more efficiently enforce the crackdown, with the mod team becoming bloated and ineffective as many had stopped using the server regularly, on February 20, Barley is plucked from among the proles and is given mod perms, who, according to Decoherence, the Minister of Love, was "the only active user [he]'d trust with mod right now". Barley served as a moderator with distinction, however after a political debate on Palestine/Israel she decided to take a break from discord and left SwagBalls.

On March 2, the 19SwagBalls84 Criminal Code was rewritten by Decoherence after a series of complaints from the chud underclass. The new rules, based on the original rules, rewritten in order to cut down on gray areas and to make the rules' enforcement both more transparent and easier, were subsequently unanimously voted in favor of by the moderators (8-0) with minor alterations. Made public on March 4, the New Criminal Code separates offenses into three categories of severity, ranging from offenses of the third-degree, the least severe and only lightly punished, to offenses of the first-degree, which lead to an immediate ban.

With over a month passing since the server rebranded, the mod team would receive many complaints about running the joke to the group and continuing to play into the bit long after it wore off. The New Criminal Code was especially controversial, with rules such as the one preventing the use of "kys" producing much discontent. Discontent continued to rise, and the powder keg was nearly ready to go off.

The March Elections

The March 2024 SwagBalls Election

March 16-17, 2024
		July 2024→
Plurality of votes needed to win
Turnout	96.0% of registered voters
Nominee	Big Brother (Walter)	Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st
Party	Moexist-Lesterist Vanguard Party	The Best Party, Which I fully support
Ideology	Moexism-Lesterism Status Quo	Pro-Harassment Anti-Homestuck (Radical) Anti-Political Discussion girardism Not Giving A Swag
Votes	7	5
Percentage	29.2%	20.8%
Nominee	Koknese	Charter
Party	SwagBalls Sharty Booru Party	Lininist SwagBalls-Sharty Union
Ideology	Shartyism Anti-Chuddery Anti-Homestuck (Radical) Pro-segregation Paleo-shartyism Historical: Booruism Anti-Homestuck (Moderate) (split off into the LSSU)	Pro-Democracy Pro-Free Speech Pro-Homestuck Judicial Reform Pro-Political Discussion
Votes	4	4
Percentage	16.7%	16.7%
Nominee	Yeetmaster	Ballistyx
Party	Independent	Swag and Security Party
Ideology	Judicial Reform Pro-Political Discussion	Anti-Homestuck (Moderate) Anti-Chuddery Pro-Political Discussion
Votes	3	1
Percentage	12.5%	4.2%
Nominee	Barley
Party	Firetamers United Nation
Ideology	Anti-Chuddery Stronger Community Values
Votes	0
Percentage	0%

Civil Unrest

Despite their benevolent rule, discontent had long been rising against the Mod Team or the Party. On March 4, Koknese, a notable Revolutionary leader during the War..., created the SwagBalls Shartyist Party (SSP), with the stated mission of eradicating political discussion, having fun, and doing stuff. Soon after, Charter decided to open an opposing party, the SwagBalls Booru Party (SBBP), yet realizing that their similarities made them closer than their differences could ever break them apart, the parties merged, forming the SwagBalls Sharty Booru Party (SSBP).

The party logo of the SSBP, designed by Koknese.

Vowing to fight against perceived injustice placed on the server by the new, unpopular rules, the SSBP posted a political manifesto, intending on spreading the message of fighting for the right to, among others, say KYS ironically and gamble again, in addition to making the #admin-family-guy-roleplay public. While radical members have been found responsible for hate crimes against Homestuckers, against whom there has been a growing sentiment, the activities of the SSBP did not help them recruit new members, and although their membership count remained stable, the movement was expected to fade into obscurity.

Dissolution of Parliament

The logo of the SDP, designed by Chauka. The three downvotes stand for the fight against chuddiness, dictatorship and censorship.

While the radicalism of the SSBP did not appeal to every voter, opposition against the Party grew when Chauka decided to open her own political party. Christened the Democratic Party of SwagBalls (DPoS), the name was soon changed to the SwagBalls Democratic Party (SDP) with the release of its manifesto, calling for the democratization of server rule, the opening of a political channel, and loosening of the word filter to allow for free Homestuck expression, as the party strictly condemned discrimination.

The party logo of TBPWIFS, designed by Shitmaster LarKcuavian.

The SDP was soon joined by The Best Party, Which I Fully Support (TBPWIFS), led by Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st, claiming to be the one true prophet of girard, who believed that the true problem that had befallen SwagCord was amount of swag giving that was happening lately, as clearly ironic speech was stifled by it being taken seriously. In a list of demands, TBPWIFS called for a crackdown on seriousposting and loosening of the anti-harassment rules, believing them to be overbroad, while wishing to place tighter restrictions on Homestuckers. Initially promising to ban minors from the server, he retracted it from the list of demands after finding no good way to implement it.

The Party, realizing that there was no stopping the rising discontent, made the decision to dissolve Parliament, announcing the first democratic elections in SwagBalls history. Set to be held on March 17, they would be preceded by two debates between the candidates.

Snowball Effect

The logo of the LPDF, designed by Lin.

The logo of SASP, designed by Ballistyx.

The logo of the FUN party, chosen by Barley.

With the elections in full swing, many new parties started to spring up, although unable to achieve the same level of popular success as the already established opposition.

The Lininist Party for Democracy and Freedom (LPDF), taking its name from its leader, Lin, wished to loosen the chat filter and introduce a channel for the discussion of politics. Strongly pro-democratic, the LPDF wished to implement a system where the Party would handpick candidates to participate in the elections, in order to protect the nation against political threats. Running on a platform similar to the SDP, the main difference between the two was that Lin was the one to be placed in power.

The Swag and Security Party (SASP), led by Ballistyx, sought to stomp out chuddery and increase Mod-Prole cooperation by establishing a volunteer watchguard that would report any suspicious activities to the server leadership. Despite allegations, independent fact-checkers have concluded that this was not a fed operation to influence server political discourse, and that Ballistyx's high-ranking status in the Party did not influence the SASP party's integrity in any way.

The Firetamers United Nation (FUN), started by Barley, got its name from its dedication to the fight against FIRE (Fights, Insults, and Reckless Evils), wishing to put an end to negative behavior which had plagued the server for so long to make the server a more FUN place to use, encouraging stronger community participation in making it happen.

The Anti-Swag Militia (ASM), a double-plus-orthodox Moexist-Lesterist paramilitary group led by Kelpwave, split off from the Party leadership, believing that the Party had led the server far astray from its original goals, leading to the rise of chuddery and collective swag giving. Its military actions, however, were not fully successful, and the movement was soon co-opted by the larger Party from which the movement had split off. The remaining members merged with the LPDF, fighting with the Lininist cause against the status quo.

The First Debate

The first debate of the March 2024 election cycle was held on March 14, at 20:20 GMT. Going into the debates without any front-running candidate, the SSBP, the SDP and the LPDF, having formed the SSU coalition (SwagBalls Shartyist Union), soon renamed to the LSSU (Lininist SwagBalls Shartyist Union), minutes prior to the debate, instead of picking a candidate internally, decided to have all of their candidates on stage for the night to have the voter decide instead. Chauka dropped out of the race, throwing her support for the newly formed union.

Moderated by the politically fair and unbiased Decoherence, the debate featured Big Brother (Walter), the incumbent leader running for election, LSSU candidates Koknese, Charter and Lin, leading the opposition, as well as Shitminister LarKcuavian, slowly rising in the polls. Other candidates were invited but were unable to join. After technical problems at the beginning were resolved by always glorious Big Brother, whereby every candidate was allowed to speak at the same time, candidates were given questions to be answered one at a time.

Asked about what his opinion was on the Homestuck issue, Koknese stood against the issue but stated that it should be resolved through democratic means, personally wishing to implement a don't ask, don't tell policy and segregate them into their own channel. With Koknese firmly standing in support for Homestucker segregation, calling it "morally correct" , Lin, the leader of the LPDF, split off from the LSSU minutes into the debate after hearing the answer, standing firmly pro-Homestuck. Charter, claiming that the SSBP had been bastardized by Koknese's radical beliefs left the coalition as well. The LSSU coalition completely fell apart within 10 minutes of the debate starting.

Yeetmaster, an SSBP member who was believed not to be able to attend, joined the debate after the coalition had already fully collapsed, already not having been part of the coalition talks, communicating through a 7-year-old tablet. Disregarding a minor incident where an old man wandered onto the debate stage, the debate continued. Koknese further called for "lynching" server members by democratic vote, wishing to implement a Chudledsky™ Score system, intended to keep track of chuddery and allow for server members themselves to pit users after guilt was determined. With the first debate proving itself to be a disaster for the LSSU, Walter, when asked which of the other candidates he supported most, threw his support behind Shitmaster LarKcuavian.

Shortly after the debate, Koknese established the SwagBalls political theory, and it is as follows;

- Paleo-Shartyism - SSBP Values, focus on total homestuck eradication and power to the proles. Inherits some Revolutionary ideas. - Shartyism - TBPWIFS Values, focus on religion and total girard rule - Neo-shartyism - LSSU Values, focus on total freedom to discuss homestuck, oppose everything that SSBP stands for.

Post-Debate Fallout

Radical supporters of the SSBP chanting in support of Koknese in front of #admin-family-guy-roleplay.

Widely believed to be one of the worst campaign blunders in the history of elections, the SSBP never fully recovered from the political fallout birthed from Koknese's anti-Homestuck comments. While most of the former SSBP electorate had switched to the newly formed LSSU, without the SSBP, statements in support of segregation and lynching led to the consolidation of the radical wing of the party, which stayed firmly in support of Koknese's policies. While Koknese has claimed that there was a word mix-up due to English being his second language, believing to be a complete synonym for "execution", without knowledge of the term's racist past, the radical beliefs of the SSBP continued to turn off voters.

Yeetmaster, not wishing to associate with the SSBP in light of the debate, decided to run as an independent, gaining moderate support even without a party to back him. A political moderate, supporting a fairer judicial system without favoritism and more government transparency, his campaign, while somewhat successful, was unable to draw many votes from the radical SSBP base.

Charter, the elected leader of the reformed LSSU, is thrown into the pit in order to prevent escalating political violence after calling opposition leader Koknese a "fucking idiot". He is released soon after, and is invited to the second debate on March 16.

The Second Debate

The second debate was set to start on March 16 at 3:00 PM GMT, with all candidates in the race being invited. Due to a variety of circumstances, however, it was only Walter who showed up on time, and the debate started without any other candidate being present. The battle of wits with his greatest opponent, himself, soon ended as Charter arrived late, still on time to answer the first question. The candidates continued pouring in, as Shitmaster LarKcuavian soon joined to attend the debate as well, having just woken up, followed by Koknese, who would be the last candidate to arrive for the debate, having driven through the Latvian cold to bring medication to a family member. Other candidates reported work and oversleeping as the main reason for their absence.

Generally of a calmer atmosphere than the first one, no great scandal plagued the debate, which was set to end with the official opening of the election polls, giving one final chance for all the candidates to make their case for themselves and to tend to wounds given to their campaign over the past days. Koknese formally apologized for his usage of the word "lynching" in his policies on the same stage that caused a party split just two days prior, giving a more moderate tone to his campaign and attempting to appeal to progressives by endorsing the usage of tone indicators to protect the right to tell others to kill themselves.

The debates concluded in high spirits with a beautiful message from Big Brother, followed immediately after by the opening of the #🎫-voting-booth. The closed-ballot elections were to be open for the following 36 hours, without even the Inner Party Members having access to the results before they closed. The political atmosphere, for a short while, calmed down, as the server members eagerly awaited the results.

Opinion Polls

An approximation of party support over time leading up to the elections. The popularity of the LSSU coalition is shown separately from its constituent parties, showing the combined popularity of the union.

Publication date	Polling firm	Votes	The Party	SSBP	TBPWIFS	SDP	LPDF	SASP	FUN	Yeetmaster
March 4	Koknese forms the SwagBalls Sharty Party and Charter creates the SwagBalls Booru Party. The two parties unite shortly after to create the SwagBalls Sharty Booru Party (SSBP).
March 12	Chauka forms the SwagBalls Democratic Party (SDP) to stand in opposition to the Party, unhappy with SSBP policy.
	Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st forms the The Best Party, Which I Fully Support (TBPWIFS).
	The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs	22	7	5	3	7
March 13	Lin forms the Lininist Party for Democracy and Freedom (LPDF)
	The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs	25	6	7	4	6	2
March 14	Ballistyx forms the Swag and Security Party (SASP).
	Barley forms the Firetamers United Nation (FUN).
	The SSBP, SDP and LPDF form the Lininist SwagBalls-Sharty Union (LSSU), a united coalition to stand against the Party.
	During the First Election Debate, the coalition agreement falls apart in hilarious fashion.
	The LSSU is reformed without the SSBP after its lead candidate vocally supported Homestucker lynching on the debate stage. Charter is elected as the coalition's candidate.
	Yeetmaster splits off from the SSBP to run as an independent.
	The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs	29	7	4	5	4	4	1	2	1
						9
March 15	Charter is thrown into the Pit under charges of 3rd-degree chuddery. The Party denied any political motivation behind the indictment.
	The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs	41	9	6	8	3	3	3	4	4
						7
March 16	Charter is let out of the Pit without major punishment.
	The Second Election Debate takes place. All candidates but Big Brother are late to show up.
	The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs	43	9	7	8	3	3	4	4	4
						9
	Final poll before the #🎫-voting-booth opens for the next 36 hours. The elections officially begin on March 16, 2024 at 16:04 GMT.

Results

The election results were counted and made public on March 17 at 19:00 GMT. While no candidate received a majority, the Party, led by Walter, achieved the largest share of the popular vote at 29.2%, outperforming polling, winning in a landslide against the other candidates, with the second-largest party, TBPWIFS, trailing behind by 8.4 points. With the elections utilizing a single-vote, first-past-the-post system, Walter was officially declared server Swagsident, legitimizing the Party's rule through democratic means.

Post-Election Riots

An example of a social media post placing doubt on the legitimacy of the March 2024 SwagBalls Elections.

Despite the glaring success of the democratic experiment, electing a leader supported by a plurality of the people, the representatives from many of the losing parties were quick to call the elections into question, deeming them unfair and throwing out the results. With a message announcing the reformation of the Revolutionaries making waves, it was clear that the democracy the Party had fought so hard to create was threatened by radicals. With the most destructive members given temporary timeouts, it was clear that the core issue was being ignored. Attempting to quell discontent, Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st, who had shown his support for democratic ideals by deciding not to participate in the protests against the rightful rulers of SwagCord, was named Vice-Swagsident, reaching a combined popular vote of 50%.

While the Walter-LarKcuavian government was sworn into office without bloodbath, calls against the two continued into their term, with Shitmaster LarKcuavian, the lead reformer as chosen by the people, being called a populist and a Party bootlicker. Nonetheless, the Vice-Swagsident opted to go the route of not giving a swag in the face of these baseless attacks, and decided to focus his time on helping change the nation for the better before the next elections put his popularity to the test. As a possible Chudfederacy secession loomed on the horizon, securing support remained key.

Outer Heaven: Ragecord

After extreme dissatisfaction with the "god complex" of the vice-swagsident, Koknese, yeetmaster and Charter decided to create a branch of SwagCord called the Ragecord. It is a discord server that's main theme is 2008 larp with ragecomics and Justin Bieber hatred.

Koknese, after finding out what other members were saying about them while Koknese and Charter were offline, have truly committed to making the ragecord their new home. Koknese set the ideology of "crossbreeding meme cultures and uniting them in ragecomics", which included advertising the server om various platforms to achieve maximum diversity in humor and in hopes to create hybrid memes that would get more members into their community. The server is advertised in SpaceHey and Tumblr.

Like the aforementioned "crossbreeding", the trio also brought in some of their Swagballs culture to the table. The server quickly had summoned Girards' cousin - Reginald, which apparently, Girard despises. Meme Alt has also given Koknese the source code for the SwagBalls bot and he quickly edited it and established the Ragecord equivalent of pitting practices - tickets to Justin Bieber performances.

The trio also vowed to leave Swagballs once they gain a stable, active member count, each with their own reasons - one maybe feels slightly offended by the shittalking, others may also be tied with the god complex of Larkc.

Ragecord has merged with Hellcord, an inactive, 500 user filled subreddit/server. SwagBalls politologists and forecasters have projected Ragecord to reach a minimum of 200~ members until late August.

The Walter-LarKcuavian Government

The Walter-LarKcuavian presidency marked the official recognition of the Holy Trinity - the Father (Meme Alt), the Son (Walter) and the Holy Spirit (girard) - as the official state religion.

Legislative Achievements

Campaign Promises	Latest Action	Current Status
The removal of rules 3.1 and 2.5, as any serious cases would already fall under rule 2.3.	(-)	Pending
The redefinition of rule 2.3 to clarify boundaries and avoid misuse.	March 20th, 2024	Passed by executive order
The re-categorization of rule 1.1 to a 2nd-degree offense.	March 22nd, 2024	Died in committee
The implementation of a new rule to treat seriousposting outside of serious channels as a 3rd-degree offense.	(-)	Pending
The legal recognition of girard's Godhood status.	March 19th, 2024	Passed by executive order
The banning of Homestuck in all contexts, excluding divine messages from girard alone.	April 14th, 2024	Passed by executive order
Giving each TBPWIFS voter 550 USD.	(-)	Pending
Major Legislation	Latest Action	Current Status
The setting up of a server partnership with Shark Park.	April 26th, 2024	Passed 13–2 Signed into law
The setting up of a server partnership with Ragecord.	April 29th, 2024	Failed 3–9

Rules

The February Constitution

The rules of SwagBalls were originally posted by Meme Alt on February 22nd, 2022, with additional rules being added at later dates. The no bigotry rules were strengthened as a variety of slurs were banned in all contexts, removed automatically by the AutoModerator. On May 15th, 2023, Walter clarified the list of words banned under the rules, as well as their respective punishments.

The old rules of SwagBalls were as follows:

The server's banner since June 2023.

1. No racism.
2. No homophobia or LGBTQ+ related phobia.
3. No spam.
4. No suspicious links, files, malware.
5. No gore/NSFL/Violent videos (videos/pictures/gifs of real death, injuries, violence etc. This includes humans and animals)
6. No sexism.
7. No disrespecting others.
8. Please try to post the right content in the appropriate channels. I will not be too harsh on enforcing this but keep that in mind.
9. If you want truly serious discussion without jokes or memes go to #serious-discussion
10. DO NOT be inappropriate with people under the age of 18.
11. There will absolutely be no discussion or talk of Femboys. Nor will there be any sharing of content including femboys. This includes but is not limited to videos, memes, pictures, copypastas etc...
    1. Amendment to 11: Boykisser falls under this and is banned.
12. If you somehow have permission to. Do not ping @ everyone OR @ any role without permission from the server owner.
13. Do not post any sexual content such as porn.
14. No horny talk, no horny memes, no horny jokes on this server. It is cringe and inappropriate. I do not care if you think its a joke, do not do it.
    1. Amendment to rule 14: don't talk about gooning or edging.
15. Absolutely no doxxing for any reason. Not even yourself.
16. There will be absolutely no venting on this server anywhere. ⁠#serious-discussion will only be for discussions.
17. The main language of this server is English. So please, only speak in english.
18. Do not share pirated material.
19. Absolutely no political discussions at all. You will be warned first. If you continue then you will be muted.
20. If someone genuinely tells you that your jokes make them uncomfortable, no matter how ironic, you should stop making them immediately.
21. You are not allowed to advertise discord servers

It should be noted that Rule 16 was not enforced at all, and discussion of piracy did not violate Rule 18.

New Criminal Code

On March 2, 2024, as part of the 1984 Chud Crackdown, the old rules were rewritten in order to cut down on gray areas and to make the rules' enforcement both more transparent and easier, and were subsequently unanimously voted in favor of by the moderators (8-0) with minor alterations. Made public on March 4, 2024, with offenses separated into three degrees of severity, the new rules, crafted by Decoherence, read as follows:

--- FIRST DEGREE OFFENSES ---

A first degree offense will be met with an instant ban.

1.1. BIGOTRY. Posting bigoted content is a first degree offense.

1.2. MALWARE. Posting malware is a first degree offense.

1.3. GORE. Posting IRL gore or shock content without a warning is a first degree offense.

1.4. PORN. Posting porn is a first degree offense.

1.5. DOXXING. Doxxing ANYONE, even yourself, is a first degree offense.

-- SECOND DEGREE OFFENSES --

A second degree offense will be met with a trip to the pit. In particularly egregious cases, the mod team may ban the offending user after discussing the case while the user remained pitted.

2.1. SPAM. Spamming in channels is a second degree offense. Spamming advertisements in channels is a first degree offense.

2.2. VIOLENCE. Posting videos that contain IRL violence without a spoiler tag or warning is a second degree offense.

2.3. HARRASSMENT. Ongoing harassment of any user is a second degree offense and may be met with a ban after review by the mod team.

2.4. HORNY CONVERSATIONS. Thirstposting, thirst comments, or any sexually charged conversation is a second degree offense. This includes posting shock content/porn memes like incredible gassy or gooning. A sexually charged conversation with a minor is a first degree offense.

2.5. ENCOURAGING SUICIDE OR SELF-HARM. Encouraging suicide or self-harm, even telling people to "kys" as a joke, is a second degree offense.

- THIRD DEGREE OFFENSES -

A third degree offense will be met with a /warn. A user who accumulates three warnings will be sent to the pit and the mod team may discuss banning such a user.

3.1. DISRESPECT. Insulting or demeaning another user is a third degree offense. If you feel that you are being harrassed, consider DMing a moderator about it so that action may be taken.

3.2. NON-ENGLISH CONVERSATIONS. Speaking in a language other than English is difficult for the mod team to moderate, and may be met with a mute if kept up for more than a few messages. Talking about other languages is fine. The issue is if you have conversations that other people can't understand.

3.3. PIRACY. Sharing pirated material is a third degree offense, and the material in question will be deleted.

3.4. POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS. Discussing politics is a third degree offense. For the purposes of this rule, "political" discussions are those in which participants voice opinions about how society ought to progress, or what ought to be done about a socio-economic issue.

3.5. ADVERTISING. Advertising discord servers or commercial products is a third degree offense. Advertising scams/NFTs/cryptocurrency is a first degree offense.

3.6. FEMBOYS. Discussion of femboys is a third degree offense. This includes posting boykisser.

3.7. BE SERIOUS. Shitposting oe otherwise joking in ⁠serious-discussions-1 is a third degree offense. Repeat offenders will be thrown into the pit.

3.8. NO HOMESTUCK. The original sin will not be mentioned by name. Any offending post will be deleted off the face of the earth.

Ongoing Campaigns

THIS SECTION OF THE ARTICLE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS.

SwagCraft

SwagCraft Legacy

SwagCraft Legacy was an entry in the SwagCraft server trilogy. Hosted by Ozzy, it became a spine-tingling adventure for all SwagBallers daring to take the call for adventure. Server also had a collab with wunkcord ^{[citation needed]}, before closing down due to financial issues.

SwagCraft II

SwagCraft II was an entry in the SwagCraft trilogy. It was by far the most eventful across both iterations. Frequent members of the server call it similair to a ghost town, that keeps being haunted by ghosts that do things in the server. SwagCraft II saw the creation of the biggest organization yet, C.O.C.K, known for its brutalistic design choices and great economy. The organization has also achieved and refined flight technologies, making a one way plane, an expensive-to-use second plane, powered by flint and steel, and a third iteration, that was meant to be quick and cheap 4 way means of transportation, but unfortunately due to flaws in mechanisms, the plane broke apart and flew very far away. The server also saw the creation of the Swagology religion, having a full fledged bible and a church. The server was shut down due to financial and inactivity issues.

The SwagCraft

The SwagCraft is an entry in the SwagCraft trilogy, being the current one. In contrast to the other two servers, it is run in a different version of the game, and on a completely new map, as well now the dictator of the server being Koknese. The server funds were crowdfunded, guaranteeing long livelihood.

The SwagCraft slowly lost activity, and Koknese decided to give the server a quirk, having two teams compete against each other. This was quite unsuccessful, however, with activity remaining relatively low. On March 3rd 2024, the server was raided by a raiding group, which lavacasted all the buildings on the server. It is currently not known how they found the server's IP. While many blame the Cockroach for ordering the strike, these theories have mostly been considered baseless by reputable sources. An automated griefing process called SkyNet, which allows for computer generation of IP addresses, is currently believed to be the most probable cause, as it would require no intentional leak from a server member.

OPERATION 9SWAG

The table below contains information on "successful" 9GAG posts: those that reached at least 100 downvotes or 25 comments. This resource should be used to determine more effective trolling strategies.

Swagcord 9GAG Posts With At Least 100 Downvotes

Account	Title	Category	Upvotes	Downvotes	Comments	Tags	Time Posted	Date Posted	URL
dankchungus	"Sex scfa sxe scex sex sxe sce sexs esex sxex sexex sex sxe sexe ex sex follow bruh funny for more epic bruh memes ?"	???	4	170	9	dank, epic, swag		January 17 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aWGj0j6
dankchungus	"Boy if this was real I would not want to swim in the ocean 😂"	???	2	176	7	69swagballs420, politics, anime		April 23 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aXnV19z
dankchungus	"NOT for insta"normies", onyl the dsnkest 9gaggetd wil get this😂😂😂"	???	4	228	13	marvel, 69swagballs420, savage		April 23 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aeQZwbB
dankchungus	"Mr. Sex and me are getting e-married on 9GAG today! 🥰 This is the happiest day of my life! 😍 Send us your best wishes in the comments below! ☺️"	???	10	63	28	gaming, politics, 69swagballs420		April 27 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aKEWqe3
dankchungus	"LO L😂 haha this comic strop is so hilarious it gve me qite the chukcle haha i jus watned to share it with yuo guyd as i m sur yu will apprecirte i5 i m sory for an y spell ibg mistake s im high on meth rn"	???	15	359	15	69swagballs420, funny, dark humor		May 4 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aZDQRyz
dankchungus	"Guybs is thi reall??? cold afam samson be an epicc 9gager lik us?? i thin this 8mage is rel butt wat do u thinkk??🤔🤔🤔"	???	13	196	26	funny, dark humor, art		May 13 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aBdEg7N
dankchungus	"Haha this "meme" my husband sent me today really cracks me up! so many things wrong with socuety today... and to any "lob"erals who get offended by this ... you can flip the H*LL off!! 😂😂😂"	Humor	16	79	26	woke, politics, funny		July 22 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/armzogK
dankchungus	"Goodbye guys"	Latest News	82	93	57	funny, meme, dank		July 23 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aNw3p43
dankchungus	"Whoever did this won the internet😂😂😂"	Memes	415	386	31	politics, dark humor, joe biden		July 26 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/axo4RmK
dankchungus	"Hah i dontt know if yuo youngsrters will be abld to relat to this but it gave me a chuckle hope you fine folkss appreacheated 😁 time used to be so mucch difefent back ij the day hah noww yuo cant even asualyt yuour wif witout a libural snowflakr getting offened can we go backt"	Humor	3	96	24	funny, humor, relatable		August 17 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/a4orpZA
dankchungus	"Whoopsie 😅 mad a bitof a mess in the kittche ntoday who knew gruond beef was so proen to spontaneous explosions haha only in ohio dose anyon knoww hwo to cleann thi up???"	WTF	12	314	60	accident, wtf, omg, ukraine, funny		September 15 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aDYqR0x
dankchungus	"So my dog (golden retriever) just did this 😅 i have guests coming over in an hour so erm... this is totally awkward ! such playful animals haha"	Wholesome	18	190	24	dog, golden retriever, wholesome meme, awesome, epic fail		September 16 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aBdbREx
dankchungus	"The george soros funded deep (do NOT read this word backwards) state does not want you to know this, SHARE and REPOST BEFORE IT GETS REMOVED‼️ DISGUSTED TO SEE WHAT JO BIDET IS DOING TO THIS BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY!! 🤢 stay safe my fellow amerircan PATRIQTS!! 🇱🇷 god bless 🙏"	WTF	14	85	35	conspiracy, politics, usa, george soros, donald trump		September 19 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aWGe1ZA
dankchungus	"A fate worse than hell awaita all those that wish to abandon godd..m good people of 9gagg... do not let this jappen to yuo or your chidlren..."	Latest News	20	83	42	islam, god, truth, atheist, donald trump		October 12 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/anz3EmL
dankchungus	"Praise be to allah 🙏🙏🙏 our onr true savior!! found on my estranged son's computter..(he died from a heroin overdoes last year)... the videegam "forknite" has completly corupted his soul... do not bel LIKR HIM!!! turn off yuor computr bfero this cosumes yuo as well..."	WTF	6	142	17	gaming, islam, religion, sad, wtf		October 17 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aeQEBXv
dankchungus	"The fall of man is nearr😍 cant belive its only veen a few thousan years sinc ethe start of human civillizatio haha weve all grown so mucm...what are yuor planns for the day of reckoning?"	Wholesome	17	82	38	wholesome meme, funny, awesome, satisfying, oddly satisfying		October 19 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/anzZeeV
69mr_sex420	"On ly trie memrrs eoll get it ! 😸🤭🤣😆😅😂😂😆😹😹🤣😸😸🤣😹😆😆😂😂😂😆😹🤣😸🤭🤭😸🤣😹😆😅😂😂😅😆😹🤭🤭😸😸🤣🤣😹😹😆😆😆😅😅😅😂😂😅😅😆😆😹🤣🤣😸😸🤭🤭😸🤣😹😆😆😂😂😅😆😹🤣😸🤭🤭🤭😸🤣😆😅😂😂😅😸😸😸🤭🤭😸🤣"	???	8	106	3	dank, meme, dark humor		May 23 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aoKLmd2
indianfurryyiff	"I LOVE PEARS O WANT TO EAT THEM, NOM JOL NOM YUMMY 🥵🥵😋😋😋😋😛😛😛😛🤩🤩🤩🤩"	???	13	117	34	dank, politics, health		April 3 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aNwvpYw
dankchungus	"Haha my second cousin(once removed) sent me thus on "facebooks"?, i just knew i'd have yo sharve it with my friends on 9gag! whoe else can relate?😂😂"	WTF	19	135	31	meme of the year, dank, funny, chainsaw man, woodcutting memes		December 18 2023	https://9gag.com/gag/aQEW2bd

Built By Gamers

The Built By Gamers campaign is an active trolling campaign in the server for the famous YouTube shorts video game podcast BuiltByGamers. The campaign is mostly harmless, just SwagBallers taking the themes that the channel covers to the extreme. Mossfish, a member of SwagBalls was quite successful and even gained the attention and positive reaction from one of the hosts of the podcast. It is rumored that mossfish is now supplying the gamers with information for their videos.

Trivia

• Although girard is a registered Republican, he has floated around the idea of a potential Libertarian presidential run in 2024. While not officially announcing his candidacy yet, his popularity leaves a strong possibility of him being chosen at the Libertarian National Convention in May this year.
  • Despite his libertarian leanings, he has also expressed support for Adolf Hitler several times, and frequently uses racial slurs. Was it all just "bait" or even "satire"? Unfortunately, nobody can tell because of Poe's law.
• There is an abandoned staff role "janitor" that is no longer used, yet it is still mentioned in the rules. Last known member with the role was Lin.
• The term Macromaniac Wars is a bastardization of the Marcomannic Wars, first uttered by Decoherence, that subsequently entered popular use.
• The War... would most likely not happen if not for an unknown mod removing Charter's Soyjak Gold.

Users

Admins and Moderators

The Administrators of SwagCord and their Family Guy roleplay characters as of February 10, 2024:

• Meme_Alt_Account (Owner) - Joe Swanson
• Walter (Co-owner) - Chris Griffin
• bazinga - Peter Griffin
• Mr. Asex - Big Chungus
• Ozzy - Glenn Quagmire
• local fungus - Roger from American Dad
• samarm132 - Pouncy the Cat

The Moderators of SwagCord:

• Ballistyx
• ShibaInuHat
• Kelpwave - Cleveland Brown
• Decoherence - Homer Simpson from The Simpsons
• Mossfish - Donald J. Trump
• Monolyne - Lois
• Lin
• Rah
• 3 CLAM - Japanese Megatron "Meg" Griffin

Members with Family Guy roleplay access:

• Vibe (former mod, real) - Brian
• REFORGER (former 69MoeLester420 admin)
• Drotos (former admin)
• Mjestik (KirbyCord owner and former server partner)

Certified Swag Ballers

A Certified Swag Baller is a user of 69SwagBalls420 who has been given a yellow role by an administrator as a result of active participation on the server. Below is an incomplete list of Certified Swag Ballers.

• YEETmaster69
• Lolpy
• Boris Chico
• Alexandra
• Vibe (real)
• GotAnyGrapes
• blank
• nowhed
• The_Mek
• Taistelulaama
• MEAT EFFIGY
• acegikm
• penguincakes
• biz1005
• caseu.
• normanthemormon
• cetationnation
• Deez
• Mr2112
• goldfish
• diabhork
• poke0441
• k0g_
• bluraydisc_hd
• deejaythefirst
• aldydreg
• ANAL RAPER
• Backyard Lobotomizer
• centi_alt_account
• basedandwrenpilled
• badusermythril
• szuhat
• brou9073
• kiwisoul
• KumStrike
• Linchpin
• rh_4m
• mayday117
• mr.gthestoopid
• Nae
• Narwhalpilot
• Petzah394
• raimonmaasiirto
• kumquat1
• sillysk1ppy
• superswag
• koknese
• Taistelulaama
• temmiez
• yttrium
• Polynera Marketing Solutions

Banned Users

Notable users who have been banned from 69SwagBalls420 are listed below.

• The Cockroach - banned for raiding
• ████████ (Tiktokker)
• ██████ (Instanormie)
• Mahmoud - banned for intolerance
• Hartson
• Nightshade
• Hartson
• Nae - banned for intolerance
• Kiwisoul