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Every good story needs a villain, and you don't make it to 50 server members without making a few enemies. Most of them were your average run-of-the-mill internet assholes, saying the n-word a couple of times or being slightly annoying for a few minutes before promptly vanishing. There is, however, a single user so utterly pathetic, <b style="color:red">(based (Memers don't even say based anymore. We say gem.))</b> so absolutely devoid of purpose <b style="color:red">(my purpose is to be an asshole to random people online (💔))</b> | Every good story needs a villain, and you don't make it to 50 server members without making a few enemies. Most of them were your average run-of-the-mill internet assholes, saying the n-word a couple of times or being slightly annoying for a few minutes before promptly vanishing. There is, however, a single user so utterly pathetic, <b style="color:red">(based (Memers don't even say based anymore. We say gem.))</b> so absolutely devoid of purpose <b style="color:red">(my purpose is to be an asshole to random people online (💔))</b> | ||
<b style="color:red">)</b> that they choose to spend the limited time <b style="color:red">(i’m actually immortal)</b> that they have on this Earth not only rotting in the dank pits of their gamer dungeon, but to making it their life's mission to mildly annoy <b style="color:red">(slight understatement considering i have my own fucking wikipedia section lmao)</b> a few Reddit mods. A tragic display of how low a human being can stoop, so infatuated by the smell of its own farts <b style="color:red">(they smell like ARYAN VRIL)</b> that it is unable for a moment to realize the worthlessness of its own existence. Despite the dozens of times this pest has been banned, they keep coming back like a drug-starved addict that cannot go without their daily hit, using dozens of alt accounts to stay on Reddit, as their reliance on the website is such that even a temporary withdrawal would result in a coma. The very definition of terminally online, <b style="color:red">(stage 4)</b> this user shall remain unnamed, <b style="color:red">(it’s the Jewedditor)</b> not for fear of retaliation, but as not to provide them with a drop of satisfaction. <b style="color:red">(i laughed for 10 minutes straight when i found this and the gc found it hilarious, which it is)</b> Instead, they will be referred to as what they really are: a '''human cockroach''' <b style="color:red">(lmao)</b> with no value to anyone, one that everyone wishes was just gone, yet one so persistent in its aims that no matter how much you stomp on it, it keeps coming back. One must embrace the '''cockroach''' as an unchanging constant in life, just as Sisyphus may never push the boulder up that sharply sloping hill, so too will this user never be truly removed. Once you embrace the fact that this insect is here to stay, you may indulge in laughter at the pitiful ways it claws for attention. <b style="color:red">(i have my own wikipedia section lmfao)</b> | <b style="color:red">)</b> that they choose to spend the limited time <b style="color:red">(i’m actually immortal)</b> that they have on this Earth not only rotting in the dank pits of their gamer dungeon, but to making it their life's mission to mildly annoy <b style="color:red">(slight understatement considering i have my own fucking wikipedia section lmao)</b> a few Reddit mods. A tragic display of how low a human being can stoop, so infatuated by the smell of its own farts <b style="color:red">(they smell like ARYAN VRIL)</b> that it is unable for a moment to realize the worthlessness of its own existence. Despite the dozens of times this pest has been banned, they keep coming back like a drug-starved addict that cannot go without their daily hit, using dozens of alt accounts to stay on Reddit, as their reliance on the website is such that even a temporary withdrawal would result in a coma. The very definition of terminally online, <b style="color:red">(stage 4)</b> this user shall remain unnamed, <b style="color:red">(it’s the Jewedditor)</b> not for fear of retaliation, but as not to provide them with a drop of satisfaction. <b style="color:red">(i laughed for 10 minutes straight when i found this and the gc found it hilarious, which it is (It is pretty funny.))</b> Instead, they will be referred to as what they really are: a '''human cockroach''' <b style="color:red">(lmao)</b> with no value to anyone, one that everyone wishes was just gone, yet one so persistent in its aims that no matter how much you stomp on it, it keeps coming back. One must embrace the '''cockroach''' as an unchanging constant in life, just as Sisyphus may never push the boulder up that sharply sloping hill, so too will this user never be truly removed. Once you embrace the fact that this insect is here to stay, you may indulge in laughter at the pitiful ways it claws for attention. <b style="color:red">(i have my own wikipedia section lmfao)</b> | ||
[[File:CockroachLore1.png|left|thumb|320x320px|The first documented encounter of the '''r/69MoeLester420''' mod staff with the '''Cockroach'''.]] | [[File:CockroachLore1.png|left|thumb|320x320px|The first documented encounter of the '''r/69MoeLester420''' mod staff with the '''Cockroach'''.]] | ||
On November 11, the '''cockroach''' was first banned on the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit. While the specific reasons were lost to time, <b style="color:red">(you banned me because i was active in r/RedditMoment (Hey gamers. Guy who actually banned him here. It was actually because I saw him being generally unfunny on some other shitposting subreddits and being over how unfunny the sub had gotten. Idk why he thinks it has to do with r/RedditMoment. It's not like any of us have a problem with it. Irony Reddit's whole point is making fun of Reddit.)</b> | On November 11, the '''cockroach''' was first banned on the '''r/69MoeLester420''' subreddit. While the specific reasons were lost to time, <b style="color:red">(you banned me because i was active in r/RedditMoment (Hey gamers. Guy who actually banned him here. It was actually because I saw him being generally unfunny on some other shitposting subreddits and being over how unfunny the sub had gotten. Idk why he thinks it has to do with r/RedditMoment. It's not like any of us have a problem with it. Irony Reddit's whole point is making fun of Reddit.)</b> | ||
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Even though the '''Cockroach''' presented itself as based and red-pilled troll through posts such as these, things could not be further from the truth. As a thread on the thugposting subreddit '''r/wordington'''<ref>The Cockroach (February 14, 2023) https://web.archive.org/web/20230727185559/https://old.reddit.com/r/wordington/comments/1126ct7/deleted_by_user/ ''Reddit.''</ref> shows, a mere day after the original incident, the user tried to explain away the situation by stating that its account was hacked by its friend {{Citation needed}}, sharing a story of less than dubious probability along side it. While this story can neither be verified nor proven false, <b style="color:red">(this is a complete fucking lie lmfao (This is probably one of my favorite moments in the saga. My man really wanted to protect his Reddit clout.)</b> | Even though the '''Cockroach''' presented itself as based and red-pilled troll through posts such as these, things could not be further from the truth. As a thread on the thugposting subreddit '''r/wordington'''<ref>The Cockroach (February 14, 2023) https://web.archive.org/web/20230727185559/https://old.reddit.com/r/wordington/comments/1126ct7/deleted_by_user/ ''Reddit.''</ref> shows, a mere day after the original incident, the user tried to explain away the situation by stating that its account was hacked by its friend {{Citation needed}}, sharing a story of less than dubious probability along side it. While this story can neither be verified nor proven false, <b style="color:red">(this is a complete fucking lie lmfao (This is probably one of my favorite moments in the saga. My man really wanted to protect his Reddit clout.)</b> | ||
<b style="color:red">)</b> the possibility still exists that the '''Cockroach''' was telling the truth. <b style="color:red">(i wasn</b> (💔<b style="color:red"> | <b style="color:red">)</b> the possibility still exists that the '''Cockroach''' was telling the truth. <b style="color:red">(i wasn</b><b style="color:red">’</b><b style="color:red">t</b> <b style="color:red">(💔</b><b style="color:red">)</b><b style="color:red">)</b> But this was far from the only incident involving this user. The threat to spam gore on the server was, by its own admission, sent by the '''Cockroach''' itself, and although it claims not to be responsible for the '''Penis Gore Incident''', <b style="color:red">(i was)</b> as more raids occurred in the future, some involving sharing material worse than the one sent during the '''First Impact''', it shows that even if it was not the '''Cockroach''' who posted the images, it would still not be out of character for it to have done so on its own. | ||
[[File:CockroachLore4.png|thumb|The '''Cockroach''' returns, full of himself as always, it even prepared a ''Little Dark Age'' edit to share with its favorite mod team.]] | [[File:CockroachLore4.png|thumb|The '''Cockroach''' returns, full of himself as always, it even prepared a ''Little Dark Age'' edit to share with its favorite mod team.]] | ||
[[File:CockroachLore5.png|left|thumb|383x383px|Testing, testing... The '''Automoderator''' is up and running. Showcased here are the first three cases documented by the bot, the bans of the '''Cockroach''' as well as its friends{{Citation needed}}. The usernames have been edited, as the '''Moederators''' do not wish for any readers of this article to harass what clearly are children.]] | [[File:CockroachLore5.png|left|thumb|383x383px|Testing, testing... The '''Automoderator''' is up and running. Showcased here are the first three cases documented by the bot, the bans of the '''Cockroach''' as well as its friends{{Citation needed}}. The usernames have been edited, as the '''Moederators''' do not wish for any readers of this article to harass what clearly are children.]] | ||
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The sleeper agents woke up on February 21. <b style="color:red">(HEIL JEWCORD, HEIL JEWCORD, HEIL JEWCORD)</b> | The sleeper agents woke up on February 21. <b style="color:red">(HEIL JEWCORD, HEIL JEWCORD, HEIL JEWCORD)</b> | ||
While not much remains as the messages were deleted automatically when the offending users were banned, one video remains, saved before the purge by '''Belize''', an edit of the National Victory Celebration held after the conclusion of the Gulf War in 1991 <ref> As confirmed by our local military expert '''koonsbmw'''. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv4ElNBqXXY </ref> with nothing but "RACISM IS NON-NEGOTIABLE" written all over it. There is but a single issue the '''Cockroach''' did not anticipate. <b style="color:red">(no, i knew this would happen. it was kinda the point actually.)</b> Every time it undertook a raid, additional lines of defense were placed. Just as the subreddit implemented a minimum karma barrier, <b style="color:red">(jewcordian win)</b> along side other measures to protect from raiders, so too did the server put protections in place in order to prevent this from happening again. The '''Automoderator''' was set up, automatically kicking out any members below the minimum account age. <b style="color:red">(this was annoying af, i had to use one of the jewcord members alts to see the reactions! fucking assholes.)</b> From then on, it became a question of how long the '''Cockroach''' was willing to wait between each raid. <b style="color:red">(being a cunt online is my favorite activity)</b> The minimum age could always be raised, and not even the '''Cockroach''' could keep on waiting forever. <b style="color:red">(i could)</b> The tides had shifted. <b style="color:red">(they hadn’t)</b> | While not much remains as the messages were deleted automatically when the offending users were banned, one video remains, saved before the purge by '''Belize''', an edit of the National Victory Celebration held after the conclusion of the Gulf War in 1991 <ref> As confirmed by our local military expert '''koonsbmw'''. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vv4ElNBqXXY </ref> with nothing but "RACISM IS NON-NEGOTIABLE" written all over it. There is but a single issue the '''Cockroach''' did not anticipate. <b style="color:red">(no, i knew this would happen. it was kinda the point actually.)</b> Every time it undertook a raid, additional lines of defense were placed. Just as the subreddit implemented a minimum karma barrier, <b style="color:red">(jewcordian win)</b> along side other measures to protect from raiders, so too did the server put protections in place in order to prevent this from happening again. The '''Automoderator''' was set up, automatically kicking out any members below the minimum account age. <b style="color:red">(this was annoying af, i had to use one of the jewcord members alts to see the reactions! fucking assholes. (Soyjak))</b> From then on, it became a question of how long the '''Cockroach''' was willing to wait between each raid. <b style="color:red">(being a cunt online is my favorite activity (Follow proper Reddiquette)</b> The minimum age could always be raised, and not even the '''Cockroach''' could keep on waiting forever. <b style="color:red">(i could)</b> The tides had shifted. <b style="color:red">(they hadn’t)</b> | ||
That is, until March 23, when another volley of posts hit the subreddit. The '''Fourth Impact''' took the form of thirty-six separate bait-and-switch posts which would all cut to a video of a man, covered in shit, stroking his cock. <b style="color:red">(i laughed for a good 5 minutes after i read this, thanks.)</b> One might wonder, what compels a man to send such a thing? And to that I say, that we are not talking about a human being. Disgusting shock "humor" is the absolute lowest form of comedy, should instill in the poster a great shame, <b style="color:red">(sneed more)</b> for how do you come to terms with the fact that you have this type of material saved on your device, not because you are sexually attracted to what is being depicted but rather because you find a man masturbating while covered in his own feces so amusing you cannot help but to snort and giggle in your gamer dungeon as if you have just experienced the absolute peak of your pathetic life when you decided to post it not once, but thirty-six separate times on a subreddit with less than 10k members. All of this dedicated to achieving an ultimately pointless goal; the banning a small subreddit. Yet the '''Cockroach''' went on. Not even in the darkest pits of SoyBooru could one find a proper portrayal of such an individual. <b style="color:red">(this is because poopson hasn’t been posted yet)</b> It would almost be funny were it not so tragic. <b style="color:red">(it’s pretty funny)</b> | That is, until March 23, when another volley of posts hit the subreddit. The '''Fourth Impact''' took the form of thirty-six separate bait-and-switch posts which would all cut to a video of a man, covered in shit, stroking his cock. <b style="color:red">(i laughed for a good 5 minutes after i read this, thanks.)</b> One might wonder, what compels a man to send such a thing? And to that I say, that we are not talking about a human being. Disgusting shock "humor" is the absolute lowest form of comedy, should instill in the poster a great shame, <b style="color:red">(sneed more)</b> for how do you come to terms with the fact that you have this type of material saved on your device, not because you are sexually attracted to what is being depicted but rather because you find a man masturbating while covered in his own feces so amusing you cannot help but to snort and giggle in your gamer dungeon as if you have just experienced the absolute peak of your pathetic life when you decided to post it not once, but thirty-six separate times on a subreddit with less than 10k members. All of this dedicated to achieving an ultimately pointless goal; the banning a small subreddit. Yet the '''Cockroach''' went on. Not even in the darkest pits of SoyBooru could one find a proper portrayal of such an individual. <b style="color:red">(this is because poopson hasn’t been posted yet)</b> It would almost be funny were it not so tragic. <b style="color:red">(it’s pretty funny)</b> | ||