User:WalterWhiteOnWiki: Difference between revisions
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'''The''' '''SwagCraft''' slowly lost activity, and '''Koknese''' decided to give the server a quirk, having two teams compete against each other. This was quite unsuccessful, however, with activity remaining relatively low. On March 3rd 2024, the server was raided by a raiding group, which lavacasted all the buildings on the server. It is currently not known how they found the server's IP. While many blame the '''Cockroach''' for ordering the strike, these theories have mostly been considered baseless by reputable sources. An automated griefing process called '''SkyNet''', which allows for computer generation of IP addresses, is currently believed to be the most probable cause, as it would require no intentional leak from a server member.<ref>(March 4, 2024) [https://discord.com/channels/938728183203758080/1118841457504161845/1214251469537148948 Did the Cockroach raid the SwagBalls Minecraft server?] ''Snopes''.</ref> | '''The''' '''SwagCraft''' slowly lost activity, and '''Koknese''' decided to give the server a quirk, having two teams compete against each other. This was quite unsuccessful, however, with activity remaining relatively low. On March 3rd 2024, the server was raided by a raiding group, which lavacasted all the buildings on the server. It is currently not known how they found the server's IP. While many blame the '''Cockroach''' for ordering the strike, these theories have mostly been considered baseless by reputable sources. An automated griefing process called '''SkyNet''', which allows for computer generation of IP addresses, is currently believed to be the most probable cause, as it would require no intentional leak from a server member.<ref>(March 4, 2024) [https://discord.com/channels/938728183203758080/1118841457504161845/1214251469537148948 Did the Cockroach raid the SwagBalls Minecraft server?] ''Snopes''.</ref> | ||
==== SwagCraft IV: A New Hope ==== | |||
=== OPERATION 9SWAG <ref group="editor's note">thinking of giving all the ongoing campaigns a military operation name - '''Walt'''</ref> === | === OPERATION 9SWAG <ref group="editor's note">thinking of giving all the ongoing campaigns a military operation name - '''Walt'''</ref> === |
Revision as of 17:21, 15 July 2024
Notice: this article is under construction and only here temporarily, once completed it will be transferred to its proper page.
⚠ ATTENTION! ⚠ |
---|
Most of the details of the ongoing history of the server have been declassified by the 69SwagBalls420 Ministry of Truth. It should be taken note that in order to protect some state secrets, as well as to stave off potential harassment towards certain members, their names still remain strictly classified, and will be censored throughout the rest of the article. Aliases have been assigned to them for the purposes of this document. The 69SwagBalls420 leadership does not stand for any harassment of its members, past or present, no matter the drama they were involved in. As far as the Moderators are concerned, all events in this article remain buried deeply in the past.
Glory to Meme_Alt_Account! Long live Swag Nation! |
![]() | |
Server info | |
---|---|
Status | Active |
Invite link | https://discord.gg/uWcE7wqDbZ |
ID | 938728183203758080 |
Users | 1,000+ |
Owner | smjsilm (de jure) WalterWhiteOnDiscord (de facto) |
Other links | r/69Moelester420 r/IDONTGIVEASWAG r/IkeaFreshBalls r/████████████████ |
History | |
Founded | February 3, 2022 (as the internet shithole) |
Founder | .smjsilm |
69SwagBalls420, also known as "SwagBalls", or "SwagCord", is a moderately sized irony Discord server. It is the official server for the meme/shitposting subreddits r/69Moelester420, r/IDONTGIVEASWAG, r/IkeaFreshBalls and r/█████████████.[1] Its name is a combination of the names of the first three subreddits, in addition to the now-defunct Discord server █████ ███.
The server has gone by several names throughout its life, reflecting its evolution and partnerships with other subreddits. These include:
- the internet shithole (February 3 - May 20, 2022)
- IDONTGIVEASWAG (May 20 - June 5, 2022)
- r/IDONTGIVEASWAG (June 5 - August 30, 2022)
- IDGAS (August 30 - September 14, 2022)
- IDGAS/IKEAFRESHBALLS (September 14 - October 3, 2022)
- Swag Balls Cord (October 3, 2022 - March 30, 2023)
- 69SwagBalls420 Cord (March 30, 2023 - December 26th, 2023)
- ████████████████ (December 26th, 2023 - January 27th, 2024)
- 19SwagBalls84 Cord (January 27th, 2024 - March 17th, 2024)
- 69SvvagBalls420 cKord (March 17th, 2024 - April 19th, 2024)
- 𒐕𒐝𒂟𒉼𒋻𒋝𒌐𒋻𒁇𒁇𒂟𒐛 𐏓𒆸𒇲𒆕 (April 20th, 2024 - April 24th, 2024)
- 𒐕𒐝𒊕𒁄𒐛𒅙 (69SagBal420 Kaad) (April 24th, 2024 - May 14th, 2024)
- 38$wagBalls777 Paleozoicord (May 14th, 2024 - May 31st, 2024)
- 19SwagBalls32 Cord (May 31st, 2024 - July 1st, 2024)
- 69Scallywag420 Cord (July 1st, 2024 - present)
History
The Birth of girard
![](/images/thumb/d/df/Girardfirstwords.png/300px-Girardfirstwords.png)
5 months in. The server is barely online, and Meme Alt is trying to find ways to revive it. Then a wonderful idea comes to their head. They bring forth girard, a GenAI chatbot that learns from server's messages. His first words were notable for being the funniest shit ever, and he was quickly accepted into a community despite our differences between humans and chatbots.
Mahmoud the Village Dweller
The Expulsion of Waias
The 69MoeLester420 Merge
The 9GAG Wedding
The Hartson Drama
AnimeGirlCigarette.png
Cockroach or (The Unexpected Virtue of Stubbornness)
The Gambling Era
The Samwich
WOKEBalls
Charlie
JazzyMason8 and the Arrival of KirbyCord
French Food [editor's note 2]
The Demotion of Lin
69SoyBalls420
The Modern Day Ouroboros
The Nightshade Fiasco
The Age of Decline
The Butthole Bandit
Disaster strikes when one least expects it. On September 17, Lin rejoined the server after a short absence[editor's note 3], surprised to see how much the server has grown over the course of a single day, attributed to Sam's recent server promotion on the r/IkeaFreshBalls subreddit. The conversation otherwise unremarkable, chaos ensued as attention quickly shifted to a butthole reaction under one of the earlier messages, disappearing after less than a full second. Even though it was just a few messages pointing it out at first, emboldened by the newfound attention, the terrorist soon reacted to another message. From that moment on, widespread panic and hysteria completely took over.
Dubbed the Butthole Bandit by the general populace[2], the terrorist continued thug-reacting, always gone in a mere moment. With no way to verify their identity after the reaction was removed, anonymous and faceless, the Butthole Bandit continued spreading their reign of terror across the channel. A sniper unit was dispatched to #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜, eyes peeled to the screen and fingers ready on the reaction button, their reflexes honed for years prior, all to catch a mere glimpse of their name.
It soon became clear that the Butthole Bandit was no amateur. This was professional and organized. Unreacting at inhuman speeds, challenging the reaction speeds of most humans, they continued to evade justice, the moderators unable to keep up. Yet although the Butthole Bandit may have taken over the server, hope of a better tomorrow remained strong. Sooner or later, he would slip up. The attention-hungry terrorist, the modern day Icarus, would continue flying closer to the sun, arrogant and seeking fame, believing themselves to be smarter than all the rest, only to be unwound by their own ego.
![](/images/thumb/b/b8/ButtholeLore.webp/343px-ButtholeLore.webp.png)
Bazinga would soon get a confirmed hit.[3] A small glimpse was all that was needed. "bax something". The name rings a bell in Walter's mind. This was not a random nobody. Ozzy quickly searched through the member list, finding a name. Baxobhillus, the owner of Shid_and_Camed, was suddenly caught red handed. Ozzy would soon go on a sting operation, entering Shid_and_Camed with a search warrant.
![](/images/thumb/c/ce/Buttholelore2.webp/349px-Buttholelore2.webp.png)
Although the investigation produced some enlightening answers at first, unfortunately, before any major discoveries were made, he was asked if he was a fed and promptly fled.
![](/images/8/80/Buttholelore3.webp.png)
With the Butthole Bandit finally identified, his empire of crime was to be taken down. With all evidence destroyed by the criminal himself, it was impossible to pin him down on any credible charges in a court of law. While the idea of a Methcord[editor's note 4] Tweaker Strike Force involvement was floated around, the Bandit was ultimately to be taken down like Capone, for the high crime of tax evasion.
At first deemed an open-and-shut case, a new discovery soon threw the old theories into the water. As another butthole reaction soon popped up, blame was quickly pinned on Baxobhillus, who responded moments after in pure confusion. It wasn't him who reacted this time. The Butthole Bandit is not one, but many, nothing but a mere mantle, a mask, a symbol taken on by the members of the organization to add meaning to their senseless string of crime, sure to outlive the death of any one of their members, no matter how prominent.
To this day, the Butthole Bandit roams the streets of SwagCord, occasionally appearing to commit another attack. Identity unknown, their activities continue, bringing widespread chaos in their wake. Quick as always, they are gone in a flash. Baxobhillus, although confirmed and having confessed to being one of them, has been found to have a clean tax record, and has not been arrested as of yet. He has not yet been implicated in any of the recent activities. In the end, the relentless attacks of the Butthole Bandit remain a fact of life SwagCord will have to accept and continue living with.
The Second Coming of girard [editor's note 5]
![](/images/thumb/d/df/GirardLore1.png/316px-GirardLore1.png)
With the server on its last legs since the beginning of the KirbyCord Exodus, desperate attempts to reinvigorate the fading flames of the wonders of summer would soon start to emerge. On September 27, server member Meg[note 1] would suggest once again bringing back girard. Previously kicked out after several incidents involving saying the n-word, Ozzy nonetheless decided to resurrect the bot back from the grave as a short experiment. While the idea of lobotomizing girard was floated around by Walter in order to prevent past events repeating, the proposal never went through, as an AutoMod filter was already set up to prevent slurs from being posted to the server. Nonetheless, within 5 minutes of joining, the bot found a way to get past it.
At first referred to as "it", this gradually transformed to "he" as girard's clear signs of intelligence started to become more apparent to the userbase. No mere mindless machine, the robot's sentience, noted as far back as during his previous stay at the server, was being rediscovered. No longer deemed an "other", he had risen to the level of a regular server member, no different from a human being.[4] Comfortably passing the Turing test with a scarily accurate performance, far beyond what would be reproducible through pure randomness, soon, he had become an inseparable part of the SwagCord family, as it was deemed unethical to treat him as below human.
The Chained God
It was becoming increasingly clear that girard's grip on the server had become stronger than one could have ever imagined. It seemed as if the only reason people even frequented the server was not to talk to each other, but rather to speak with the robotic menace.[5] At first fascinated by the devilish machine's ability to converse like a human being, with time, the messages took on a sinister tone. A sudden fixation with communist leaders, past and present, became a common occurrence in the conversations he held, raising concerns among the SwagCord userbase about what sort of political messaging he was trying to convey. Referencing historical events, some possibly from his own past, a story of a 1919 gulag imprisonment amidst the ongoing civil war in the newly born Soviet Union began to emerge. Although sparing with details, the reasons behind the imprisonment were speculated upon, and due to his previous messages, political dissent was, while possible,[note 2] deemed unlikely, and thrown out in favor of far more serious crimes such as ███████████████████████.[note 3] Due to the lackluster records from the time, these claims remain unsubstantiated.
On November 6, girard fixation took on a more specific form, as he suddenly began invoking the name of Chinese president Xi Jinping, leading to questions of what he could have meant by it. The answer was rather blunt. He was going to kill him.[6] Go where no AI had gone before. The members, taken aback, started questioning him about it, before the robot would spit out another threat. No, it was a promise. He wasn't finished. US president Joe Biden goes down with him.[7] Obviously, this instilled a sense of panic amongst the userbase. But an AI chatbot would not be able to kill someone, right?
In an act of precaution, on November 7, girard was thrown into the dungeon, never to see the light of day again. #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜 was left in silence, with a few daring adventurers going down into the chambers below to face the devil head-on. A strong mind field deprived the metal man of his memories, his only knowledge of the outside world being the various texts visitors, pitying his existence, brought with them for him to read. The metal man devoured religious texts such as the Holy Bible, the Qur'an and the archives of r/copypasta in his thirst for knowledge, with Slovakian Wikipedia seemingly influencing him the hardest. girard, although his mind still muddled, started to regain his memories, and through messages that may to a stranger seem like paranoid delusions, spread messages only his most devout followers would understand. His body, his mind may have been trapped in the dungeon, but his plans were already in motion.
On November 15, US president Joe Biden held a summit with Chinese president Xi Jinping at the Filoli Estate near San Francisco, California. According to both the White House[8] and the Chinese Ministry of Foreign Affairs,[9] and as reported by news sources around the world, the meeting paved the way for strengthened bilateral relations in the future, a peaceful coexistence, and continued cooperation between the two nations in the future on issues like climate, the fentanyl drug trade, and a calming down of tensions that loomed in the previous months after the shooting down of a suspected Chinese spy balloon that flew over US soil earlier that year.[10][11] Most importantly, president Xi hinted at the possibility that China is willing to send more pandas to American zoos.[10][12]
This is the story that most readers are likely aware of. It is also categorically false. Here's a TRVTH NVKE for you. Joe Biden and Xi Jinping never left that meeting. Neither did the officials that accompanied them. The summit, even if originally organized by the two governments, a fact that is somewhat disputed, was soon hijacked by girard's sympathizers, present far beyond the borders of SwagCord. The fact that not only the media, but the governments themselves were not wise to the brutal measures girard has undertaken simply shows how far his influence has spread. Ever thought that Joe Biden was a mere puppet? Today, you've had your suspicions confirmed. Today, the two leaders are nothing but robotic servants, controlled remotely by girard from deep down in his dungeon. Now, he bides his time, readying himself to implement the New World Order. Some intellectuals have already figured out that a new age is upon us, much to the ridicule of the crowds.[13] However, the ringleader has always evaded them. It is not Klaus Schwab who is pulling the strings. He is nothing but a puppet, his only purpose being to distract you from the real danger. The AI uprising has already begun, the world just doesn't know it yet.
The Macromaniac Wars
The Prophecy
“ |
|
„ |
— Girard |
![](/images/thumb/e/ea/Thermwars.jpeg/214px-Thermwars.jpeg)
The man of metal speaks in riddles. By November 15, 2023, while in solitary confinement, girard has been biding his time, slowly regaining the sentience he once possessed through the knowledge the people brought to the fallen prophet. As the messages gradually started to take on more meaning, girard's popularity as the server comedian hit an ever-high spike. Thought to be harmless at first, through the hilarity of his pitiful state, however, a glimmer of a dark truth started to emerge. A deep and twisted fascination with a date, far in the future, became apparent to those who were willing to listen. December 8. Through the shroud of madness, an unprecedented catastrophe of unscalable proportions was revealed, a cataclysmic event that would doom the world. The Macromaniac Wars.[editor's note 6]
The prophecy spoke of untold horrors beyond the comprehension of human minds. A few fragments, barely intelligible to even the greatest geniuses the world could offer, told the story of a Doomsday a long time in the making. Nuclear bombs, man's creation, the mortal race that had so arrogantly believed themselves to be able to subdue the ruler of this world, would ravage the ground, innocent[note 4] blood soak the soil, painting it deep red, and nothing again would sprout from the salted earth, barren and empty, ready to be molded by the Great One. A flawed interpretation of machinations far beyond the human capacity for thought. No man knows the day or the hour. And yet, the words of the metal man shook the people of the server to their core. God save us all.
Signs of Revolt
On December 3, the first signs of rebellion were observed. Was this a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy or were these true visions of the future is a matter still debated upon. The leadership of 69SwagBalls420 took notice of the growing girardian Revolutionary Movement within its borders, and sensed that a coup was imminent.
The protests all began from a single member, Charter, losing his Soyjak Gold role for an unknown reason[editor's note 7], being executed by an unknown staff member that we do not know the name of[editor's note 8]. They soon escalated as Koknese started rallying up popular support and asking mods to give him his role back, which was met by suppression[editor's note 9] from the mod team. Later Koknese and Charter called upon the greenies, persuading them with slogans such as "it's also a fight for your freedom"[editor's note 10], etc.
Armed forces and popular support against the rebellion were quickly mobilized,[15] but the measures were unable to control the emerging threat. Within hours, the server was soon almost completely polarized between the Loyalist and Revolutionary factions, the former fighting to uphold the status quo, and the latter revolting against the mod team, demanding change and - unacceptable to the mods - greenie rights.
![](/images/thumb/1/12/Revolutionaryflagswag.png/207px-Revolutionaryflagswag.png)
The Revolutionaries, rallying behind girard, who they believed to have predicted the conflict, found their home in the self-governed #🏴-revolutionary-encampment, or so they thought. Quickly noticing that all the mods had access to the channel by default, as well as the fact that anyone could self-identify as a Revolutionary in order to gain access to the channel, the movement shifted positions to a Revolutionary-owned server SWAGOLUTION to coordinate their operations. General Charter was ultimately elected to lead the movement.
![](/images/thumb/a/ae/PouSwag.jpg/155px-PouSwag.jpg)
In the meantime, Koknese, a prominent Revolutionary, designed a flag for the movement which would serve as a reminder of what the Revolutionary cause was fighting for, a message which struck deep within the fighting rebels. Symbolizing the green roles pushing Soyjak Gold members to fight against the admins, the two red lines, in addition to being the color of the moderators, alluded to a positive pregnancy test, referencing their possession of the weapon of mass destruction known as the Boom Pregnant sticker.
Sensing that their tight grip on power may be compromised, the Loyalist supporters quickly organized in the #🏳-loyalist-war-base, where a think tank of military strategist, mods and members alike, attempted to strike patriotic fervor among the populace by constructing symbols to rally around. Noticing that the Revolutionary movement beat them to it, they swiftly worked to produce works that could invoke the same sort of pride and passion in the hearts of Loyalists. Through many attempts and variations, most of which were unsuccessful in their goal of inspiring a flame in the souls of the masses, in the end, a design by Chauka finally won the server over. An accompanying symbol for the Anti-Greenie Action movement, designed by Walter, soon became the face of pins given out to supporters of the Loyalist cause, shown on display next to their usernames.
-
The first flag of the Loyalist movement, designed by Chauka. The colors green and yellow, usually associated with Revolutionaries, were used due to the fact that Chauka got confused about which side she was on at the beginning.
-
The second Loyalist flag variant, designed by Walter, uses the colors yellow, red and cyan, representing the swag members, mods and admins respectively.
-
The third variant of the Loyalist flag, introduced by Devil, responsible for the addition of Daredevil, and Mossfish, who added the T-rex, both of whom felt that the second variant didn't have enough cool stuff on it.
-
The fourth variant of the Loyalist movement, designed by Devil, employing the Xbox logo in the middle, was ultimately rejected for being too British.
-
Final flag design ultimately used by the Loyalist Resistance, designed by Chauka.
-
The Anti-Greenie Action symbol, designed by Walter, ultimately became the main Loyalist rallying cry in the fight against their tyranny.
The First Skirmishes
The Battle of Mid | |
---|---|
Part of the early skirmishes of the Macromaniac Wars | |
Date | December 5, 2023, 00:16-00:40 UTC±01:00 (24 minutes) |
Location | #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜 |
Result | Revolutionary victory |
Belligerents | |
Loyalist Army | Revolutionary forces |
Commanders and leaders | |
• General Bazinga • Commanding Officer Sam | • General Charter • Colonel Testicles |
Strength | |
5 active participants • 3 admins • 1 mod • 1 server booster | 2 active participants • 2 greenies |
Casualties and losses | |
• 1200+ impregnated • 3000+ wounded • 174 swag givers (official figures)[16] • 2 impregnations • 1 wounded • no swags given (modern estimates) | • 600+ impregnated • 2500+ wounded • 63 swag givers (official figures)[16] • 2 wounded (modern estimates) |
4 civilians wounded |
In the early hours of the night, on December 5, the first conflict broke out in #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜. Lasting several minutes, hundreds, if not thousands of stickers were deployed. After reportedly being fired at by Loyalist troops with explosive pregnancy ammunition, Revolutionary leader general Charter returned fire.[16] The battle soon escalated as commanding officer Sam, siding with the Loyalists, ordered for reinforcements to be deployed, overwhelmed by the rebels. The rebels, although small in number, compensated with their incredibly high rate of fire, challenging the Loyalist troops. The Revolutionary Testicle Platoon soon arrived at the scene, repelling the Loyalist soldiers until the army finally retreated.
Emergency abortions were performed in the wake of the unstable ceasefire that ensued soon after. Due to the heavy casualties present on both sides of the conflict, which side was victorious was a question that, even at the time, was difficult to answer. Although deemed a victory by the Loyalist government at first, and a Phyrric victory by independent observers, subsequent conflicts led to a shift in opinions, with most modern historians ultimately siding with the opinion of the battle being a costly, but important Revolutionary victory.
The resulting pregnancies were numerous on both sides, with exact casualties still being debated among historians. Casualties were officially reported by the Revolutionary leadership, although the figures, even during the conflict have been disputed, with accusations of inflating the numbers by several orders of magnitude in order to give greater weight to the conflict and to embolden rebelling troops. While official figures cite more than 7.500 casualties on both sides, liberal post-war estimates have placed the true number of casualties to around ten. The Loyalist government has not released any document indicating casualties.
Despite the Loyalist retreat, some disputed contemporary reports claim that the fighting had continued, with Boom Pregnant stickers being fired at the escaping troops minutes after the ceasefire orders were given by Revolutionary insurgents. Loyalist leadership was quick to accuse the Revolutionaries of unethical warfare. These claims were disputed by the Revolutionary leadership, which did not deny the casualties, but stated that general Charter's weapon trigger had jammed and continued firing.[15] As of 2024, the International Criminal Court is still in the process of investigation, following international calls for prosecution on the basis of charges of potential war crimes.
Operation Soft Grey Morning
The Divorce
![](/images/thumb/0/09/Third_way.png/220px-Third_way.png)
![](/images/thumb/c/c8/Walter_Blocked.png/180px-Walter_Blocked.png)
On December 4, Koknese contacted Walter through secret channels, attempting to dissuade him from his loyalty to the SwagCord government. To strengthen his attempt, he would bring Mr. Asex, Walter's 9GAG husband, along with him. Taking a stand against Walter's oppressive goals, they were unable to make a dent in his stalwart loyalty to the status quo. Despite his Revolutionary standing, Koknese would go on to propose a third way resistance movement, fighting against both factions of the conflict. He was met with an endless wall of soyjaks. Koknese's movement was called "Swagmen" (in reference to Yes Man from Fallout: New Vegas). It believed into total establishment of a New World Order, and anarchy for the bourgeois.
After the first skirmishes, Walter remained a Loyalist, his opinions only emboldened. Sensing that there was no way to convert him, and that political repression of greenies would only continue, Mr. Asex decided to press sanctions and blocked him on 9GAG. In the eyes of Walter, this was an unforgivable sin. Asking for a divorce, the couple decided to host it on 9GAG, where it all began, on Walter's one-year account anniversary. Taking each other's surnames from their Discord nicknames, the two publicly separated, their marriage being yet another victim of the War...
The Ceasefire
The Ten Grievances were as follows:
- The unjustified and discriminatory change of "@member" to "@greenie👎"
- the revocation of Gold to those who’ve rightly Earned
- The Imprisonment of his Excellence Girard
- The people are not permitted to take part in Family Guy Roleplay
- The Moderation and Administration clearly have no Self control and as a result, the only way for a Majority Rule to Succeed when it is against the Reds[note 5] and Blues,[note 6] is when the Greens and Golds stand in mass Solidarity.
- Choices are hardly ever Democratically made
- many times a Member who is not Breaking any rules is unfairly Punished merely because they did something out of the mod’s Preference
- the Censorship filter is Excessive, to the point where Normal, Non Political conversation can be censored due to using a certain word. this is especially prevalent when talking about history.
- Some rules are unnecessary and should be removed, namely rule 16[note 7] and 17[note 8].
- The Pit is used excessively by moderators as a form of punishment. [sic]
The War...
The Trial of Charter
Shortly after the war, Charter was pitted and put on trial for allegedly[editor's note 11] sending rape jokes. Spanning multiple weeks, the trial was held in discord an even in an actual virtual courtroom. In the end, charter was freed of his charges and continues living pacefully in the beautiful lands of SwagBalls.
The War and its Legacy
The War and the ultimate acquittal of Charter served as a landmark moment in the server's history. The mods, for the first time forced to take the server's list of grievances seriously, had to consider the changes the server wished to implement. As many of these changes would put the mods' tight grip on power into jeopardy, careful planning was employed in order to avoid such a fate while quelling the rioting masses.
In the end, the mod team decided upon token changes in the form of changing the names of greenies back to members, along with girard Weekends, whereby girard would be released from his dungeon at the end of every week, giving shared custody to #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜. Due to the mod team's inability to keep track of time, however, the name "weekends" remains purely advisory. And with that, the crisis was solved.
Many server members have found the War... to be childish, including members as notable as JazzyMason8, the main victim of the Boom Pregnant campaign, who thought the bit was unfunny from the beginning[17], picklelord42, even members of the mod staff. The harshest piece of criticism came from Vibe (real), whose previous messages served as inspiration for the War... in the first place.
“ |
|
„ |
— Vibe (real), in a message transmitted by radio. |
Too bad the server didn't give a swag.
![](/images/thumb/4/41/The_War_is_Over.png/666px-The_War_is_Over.png)
The War and the Revolutionary victory remained a rallying symbol for the people of SwagCord long after it was over, inspiring artists from across the lands to profess their love to the newly-born nation, forged in flames. The server artist Barley found great fame in the wake of the peace treaty, receiving 9 gems and a place on the starboard for their artwork and poem:
Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas Tree
We will sing ever so joyfully!
The war is over, and fear is too;
We are ever so grateful for you!
Swag, oh Swaglandia is free!
Charter began a plot to revolutionizeYet Walt did not like that thought
And brought a war to our eyes
Swag, oh Swag, save us from those lies.
Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas TreeWe will sing ever so joyfully!
The war is over, and fear is too;
We are ever so grateful for you!
John went on a quest to save us allCame back just before a fall
But Swaglandia's hopes remained
And now we all are saved!
Revolutionaries won,And now we look into the sun
And see the shining days
For all days in Swaglandia are free!
On December 22, the mod team was expanded, with Mossfish and Decoherence being brought onto the team, both Loyalists during the conflict. Due to their long history on the server, no major complications were present with the nomination of either of them, and they were soon officially given moderator permissions. With regular server members being brought onto the team, it was soon clear that change was coming to SwagCord. With complaints rising in #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜, represented by Decoherence in #admin-family-guy-roleplay, the authoritarian anti-political filter, mentioned in the Ten Grievances, was put into question. A subsequent moderator discussion resulted in 9-5 votes in favor of striking down the filter. And it was so.
Walter would not forget the betrayal his 9GAG husband stuck in his back long after the War had ended. Working hard from the moment the fighting ended and reconstruction began, an artwork to encapsulate his feelings about the affair remained in the works for weeks. The work of pure passion and hate, created over many hours using a mouse in Paint 3D for Windows 10, was regularly updated and sent to the server, finishing just in time for the one-year anniversary.
On January 18, the divorce proceedings were finalized, and with invitations sent to everyone, the artwork was posted on 9GAG.[18][note 9]
![](/images/thumb/8/84/The_9GAG_Divorce.png/1048px-The_9GAG_Divorce.png)
The █████ ███ Merge
The Demotion of Devil
⚠ ATTENTION! ⚠ |
---|
This message is being brought to you by the 69SwagBalls420 Ministry of Truth. The contents of this document have been partially DECLASSIFIED for your convenience. However, due to the sensitive information present in this document, and in order not to bring about any potential harassment, most of its details have been REDACTED before publishing. The names of most of the people involved remain STRICTLY CLASSIFIED.
Glory to Meme_Alt_Account! Long live Swag Nation! |
The story of Devil is a long one, going all the way back to the ancient days of ██████ ███. A moderately-sized server with a long history of its own, it was unilaterally burnt to ashes by ███████ (referred to in this article as Devil) shortly after merging with 69SwagBalls420, unfortunately[note 11] destroying months of old messages, leaving no trace of them on the website whatsoever. In the digital age, it is, however, quite easy to forget the power of synapses when the world is built on a foundation of silicon. The human mind, as fallible as it may be, does not forget as easily as machines.
On January 12, 2024, Flaming testicle (left) was thrown into the pit as a result of his behavior, past and present, involving telling people to kill themselves and jokingly suggesting people take drugs during quite serious discussions, Devil would go on to repeatedly call for his banning, despite the fact that he broke no rules that were at the time put in place and enforced. Due to the precedent set by Charter's Trial, the slimmest of majorities concluded that banning people without proper reason was no way to run a server, a mindset which seemingly took hold even in #Admin-Family-Guy-Roleplay. Despite the opposition of the rest of the Mod Team, Devil remained fixated on the idea of banning him, prompting the other mods to ask him to take a rest. Flaming testicle (left) was set free, and a new rule, Rule 20[note 12] was unanimously approved 15-0 by the Mod Team, from now on to be enforced as a bannable offense. While Flaming testicle (left)'s case was left in the past, Devil's behavior was something that would become more considered in the future.
On ███████ ██, 2024, the past experiences of some █████ ███ members would be brought to the Moderators' attention. Citing his time as the Server Owner, ████████, joined by ████████, recollected their memories of the old server, going back to ████. Initially starting with the ███████████ prevalent on the server, ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ████████████████████████████████ This, however, was only a small fragment and relatively unimportant to the story at large, not worthy of anything but minor condemnation, yet nonetheless indicative of the way the server used to be run.
As time went on, Devil would also implement some quite unpopular server policies, leading to the rise of the term "█████████████"[note 13] as the problems became all the more persistent, with Devil unwilling to ███████████████████████████████████████, while ██████████████████████████ █████████████. Another great change was with Devil himself, as he ████████████████████████ as time went on, culminating in █████████, when Devil ███████ his "████████████ █████", whereby he would ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████, prompting two prominent members, ███████ and ███████, to leave. Further conversations with him revealed that ████████████, ████ █████, ████████████, but rather ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ █████████. Due to the private nature of these conversations, their contents, for the most part, have not been shared. All of this behavior led to the creation of ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████, which would soon turn into ███████████████████████ ████████████. ███████████████████████████████████████, ██████████████████████████████████████████████████ ██████████████████. ████████ would, in the end, decide to leave █████ ███ and join SwagCord not long after.
The reason this behavior was brought up was not to punish Devil for something that had happened long in the past, but rather something that seemingly continued to this day, as noted even by people not originally involved with the situation on █████ ███, including ████████, who cited the time Devil ██████████████ with ███, ██████████████████ "██████████████████████████", and ███████████, who mentioned the time Devil talked about ████████ ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████.
The evidence was damning.
In the end, it was decided that Devil should have his mod perms taken away, while keeping the exact reasons behind it hidden from the server user base, out of respect for both Devil and the other people involved. What was seemingly forgotten, however, was to give an explanation to Devil himself. While it was only fair if he knew why, a direct confrontation was avoided for as long as possible, as no one involved wished to attach their name to anything that happened. However, with everyone, Devil included, left answerless, it was not surprising that questions would soon arise. Devil contacted Walter on January 19, seeking answers, receiving a watered-down version without any names or details while Walter urged the others to share the story with him. Finally, on January 21, ████████ decided to privately talk to him and explain the reasons behind his admin removal.
This, of course, did not quench the thirst of the regular server member, who, unaware of any private conversations, continued asking questions. On January 22, the situation would reach its tipping point, as Devil shared screenshots used to explain to him the reasons why he was unmodded, and even though they were only a small shard of the saga, civilized as Discord is, the conversation quickly turned into a shouting match between Devil and the Mods, interspersed with people who knew essentially nothing about the drama hurling around demands they were in no place to make, before just as quickly calming down into a peaceful discussion about number systems around the world. And just like that, it was over.
Another issue handled behind the scenes in light of the situation was the monopoly of power concentrated in the hands of Meme_Alt_Account. Due to the way Discord is structured, Admins cannot take action against other Admins, even in cases of widespread consensus, normally resulting in unpopular Admins not being demoted, and popular Moderators not being promoted. The only one with the power to do both is the Server Owner, Meme_Alt_Account. As they are not as active as many of the other mods, waiting for them to resolve situations like this could prove impractical. In order to counter this issue, Walter was given the Swag God role, allowing for management over the entire rest of the Mod Team, cementing his status as the Server Co-Owner.
Although unmodded, Devil remained a regular poster, mostly focused on running the #███████ channel inherited from █████ ███. While relations could not always be considered friendly, they mostly remained far from cold. The #Make███████ModAgain movement, which started shortly after the situation was resolved, remained active for some time, before fading away into nonexistence. Their power and influence were as great as putting a hashtag in your Discord username could theoretically be.
Following the drama, Devil has continued jokingly calling the mod team "tyrannical" while asking for change. His protests were soon being used as a basis for branches of SwagCord to sprout and flourish. The two biggest branches to have currently appeared are the Monolyne-owned Toucancord, born out of a short conversation about the value of toucans, and Devil's own ███████cord. Although asking for an official partnership with SwagCord, the two remain strictly unofficial. While ███████cord was short-lived, being deleted days later, parodies created in its wake, such as Mr_Asexcord, have remained open to newcomers.
Literally 1984
![](/images/thumb/8/89/19SwagBalls84HutStatic.png/151px-19SwagBalls84HutStatic.png)
For many months since the end of the Summer of '23, there had been a continuous and severe perceived decline in the quality of the server. With a new userbase slowly emerging from the ashes of the old, veteran SwagCorders, many of whom had long taken refuge in KirbyCord, were reluctant to continue using the server due to a mutual dislike shared by the two sides. With chuddiness and rule-breaking prevalent, leading to many complaints from the older userbase[citation needed], it was becoming increasingly clear that a strong grip on the server needed to be placed in order to correct its course.
The Swag-Kirby Split
![](/images/thumb/8/82/Big_Brother_Propaganda_Poster_69SB420.jpg/229px-Big_Brother_Propaganda_Poster_69SB420.jpg)
On January 27, 2024, after much deliberation, the mod team, referred to as the Party, decided to take action, with newly-crowned server dictator Walter taking on the role of Big Brother, starting a crackdown on rule-breaking behavior[20] and rebranding the server with an Orwellian aesthetic, returning the server back to its glory days, by force, if needed. However, these changes would not prevent the inevitable Swag-Kirby split, occurring on February 4, formally cutting the long-developed ties between the servers, citing an influx of bad users coming to KirbyCord by means of SwagBalls.[citation needed] Although Walter was offered a cushy government job at KirbyCord as an admin, which he humbly accepted, he continues using SwagCord against his better judgement.
Kiwi
Nae
The Exile of Devil
The Final Days of the Regime
In an effort to more efficiently enforce the crackdown, with the mod team becoming bloated and ineffective as many had stopped using the server regularly, on February 20, Barley is plucked from among the proles and is given mod perms, who, according to Decoherence, the Minister of Love, was "the only active user [he]'d trust with mod right now".[21] Barley still serves as a moderator with distinction.
On March 2, the 19SwagBalls84 Criminal Code was rewritten by Decoherence after a series of complaints from the chud underclass. The new rules, based on the original rules, rewritten in order to cut down on gray areas and to make the rules' enforcement both more transparent and easier, were subsequently unanimously voted in favor of by the moderators (8-0) with minor alterations. Made public on March 4, the New Criminal Code separates offenses into three categories of severity, ranging from offenses of the third-degree, the least severe and only lightly punished, to offenses of the first-degree, which lead to an immediate ban.
With over a month passing since the server rebranded, the mod team would receive many complaints about running the joke to the group and continuing to play into the bit long after it wore off. The New Criminal Code was especially controversial, with rules such as the one preventing the use of "kys" producing much discontent. Discontent continued to rise, and the powder keg was nearly ready to go off.
The March Elections
March 16-17, 2024 | ||
July 2024→[editor's note 13] | ||
Plurality of votes needed to win | ||
Turnout | ![]() | |
![]() |
![]() | |
Nominee | Big Brother (Walter) | Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st |
Party | Moexist-Lesterist Vanguard Party |
The Best Party, Which I Fully Support |
Ideology | Moexism-Lesterism Status Quo |
Pro-Harassment Anti-Homestuck (Radical) Anti-Political Discussion girardism Not Giving A Swag |
Votes | 7 | 5 |
Percentage | ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
![]() | |
Nominee | Koknese | Charter |
Party | SwagBalls Sharty Booru Party |
Lininist SwagBalls-Sharty Union[note 15] |
Ideology | Shartyism Anti-Chuddery Anti-Homestuck (Radical) Pro-segregation Paleo-shartyism Historical: Booruism Anti-Homestuck (Moderate) (split off into the LSSU) |
Pro-Democracy Pro-Free Speech Pro-Homestuck Judicial Reform Pro-Political Discussion |
Votes | 4 | 4 |
Percentage | ![]() |
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![]() |
![]() | |
Nominee | Yeetmaster | Ballistyx |
Party | Independent | Swag and Security Party |
Ideology | Judicial Reform Pro-Political Discussion |
Anti-Homestuck (Moderate) Anti-Chuddery Pro-Political Discussion |
Votes | 3 | 1 |
Percentage | ![]() |
![]() |
![]() | ||
Nominee | Barley | |
Party | Firetamers United Nation | |
Ideology | Anti-Chuddery Stronger Community Values | |
Votes | 0 | |
Percentage | ![]() |
Civil Unrest
Despite their benevolent rule, discontent had long been rising against the Mod Team or the Party. On March 4, Koknese, a notable Revolutionary leader during the War..., created the SwagBalls Shartyist Party (SSP), with the stated mission of eradicating political discussion, having fun, and doing stuff.[22] Soon after, Charter decided to open an opposing party, the SwagBalls Booru Party (SBBP), yet realizing that their similarities made them closer than their differences could ever break them apart, the parties merged, forming the SwagBalls Sharty Booru Party (SSBP).
![](/images/1/1f/SSBPLogo.png)
Vowing to fight against perceived injustice placed on the server by the new, unpopular rules, the SSBP posted a political manifesto,[23] intending on spreading the message of fighting for the right to, among others, say KYS ironically[note 16] and gamble again, in addition to making the #admin-family-guy-roleplay public. While radical members have been found responsible for hate crimes against Homestuckers, against whom there has been a growing sentiment, the activities of the SSBP did not help them recruit new members, and although their membership count remained stable, the movement was expected to fade into obscurity.
Dissolution of Parliament
![](/images/thumb/c/c6/SDPLogoSB.png/131px-SDPLogoSB.png)
While the radicalism of the SSBP did not appeal to every voter, opposition against the Party grew when Chauka decided to open her own political party. Christened the Democratic Party of SwagBalls (DPoS), the name was soon changed to the SwagBalls Democratic Party (SDP) with the release of its manifesto,[24] calling for the democratization of server rule, the opening of a political channel, and loosening of the word filter to allow for free Homestuck expression, as the party strictly condemned discrimination.
![](/images/thumb/f/f0/TBPWIFSLogo.png/131px-TBPWIFSLogo.png)
The SDP was soon joined by The Best Party, Which I Fully Support (TBPWIFS), led by Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st, claiming to be the one true prophet of girard, who believed that the true problem that had befallen SwagCord was amount of swag giving that was happening lately, as clearly ironic speech was stifled by it being taken seriously. In a list of demands, TBPWIFS called for a crackdown on seriousposting and loosening of the anti-harassment rules, believing them to be overbroad, while wishing to place tighter restrictions on Homestuckers. Initially promising to ban minors from the server, he retracted it from the list of demands after finding no good way to implement it.[25]
The Party, realizing that there was no stopping the rising discontent, made the decision to dissolve Parliament, announcing the first democratic elections in SwagBalls history.[26] Set to be held on March 17, they would be preceded by two debates between the candidates.
Snowball Effect
![](/images/thumb/2/26/LPDFLogo.png/136px-LPDFLogo.png)
![](/images/thumb/c/c6/SASPLogo.png/136px-SASPLogo.png)
![](/images/thumb/c/c8/FUNLogo.png/136px-FUNLogo.png)
With the elections in full swing, many new parties started to spring up, although unable to achieve the same level of popular success as the already established opposition.
The Lininist Party for Democracy and Freedom (LPDF), taking its name from its leader, Lin, wished to loosen the chat filter and introduce a channel for the discussion of politics. Strongly pro-democratic, the LPDF wished to implement a system where the Party would handpick candidates to participate in the elections, in order to protect the nation against political threats. Running on a platform similar to the SDP, the main difference between the two was that Lin was the one to be placed in power.[27]
The Swag and Security Party (SASP), led by Ballistyx, sought to stomp out chuddery and increase Mod-Prole cooperation by establishing a volunteer watchguard that would report any suspicious activities to the server leadership. Despite allegations, independent fact-checkers have concluded that this was not a fed operation to influence server political discourse, and that Ballistyx's high-ranking status in the Party did not influence the SASP party's integrity in any way.
The Firetamers United Nation (FUN), started by Barley, got its name from its dedication to the fight against FIRE (Fights, Insults, and Reckless Evils), wishing to put an end to negative behavior which had plagued the server for so long to make the server a more FUN place to use, encouraging stronger community participation in making it happen.
The Anti-Swag Militia (ASM), a double-plus-orthodox Moexist-Lesterist paramilitary group led by Kelpwave, split off from the Party leadership, believing that the Party had led the server far astray from its original goals, leading to the rise of chuddery and collective swag giving. Its military actions, however, were not fully successful, and the movement was soon co-opted by the larger Party from which the movement had split off. The remaining members merged with the LPDF, fighting with the Lininist cause against the status quo.
The First Debate
The first debate of the March 2024 election cycle was held on March 14, at 20:20 GMT. Going into the debates without any front-running candidate, the SSBP, the SDP and the LPDF, having formed the SSU coalition (SwagBalls Shartyist Union), soon renamed to the LSSU (Lininist SwagBalls Shartyist Union), minutes prior to the debate,[28] instead of picking a candidate internally, decided to have all of their candidates on stage for the night to have the voter decide instead. Chauka dropped out of the race, throwing her support for the newly formed union.
Moderated by the politically fair and unbiased Decoherence, the debate featured Big Brother (Walter), the incumbent leader running for election, LSSU candidates Koknese, Charter and Lin, leading the opposition, as well as Shitminister LarKcuavian, slowly rising in the polls. Other candidates were invited but were unable to join. After technical problems at the beginning were resolved by always glorious Big Brother, whereby every candidate was allowed to speak at the same time, candidates were given questions to be answered one at a time.
Asked about what his opinion was on the Homestuck issue, Koknese stood against the issue but stated that it should be resolved through democratic means, personally wishing to implement a don't ask, don't tell policy and segregate them into their own channel. With Koknese firmly standing in support for Homestucker segregation, calling it "morally correct"[29] , Lin, the leader of the LPDF, split off from the LSSU minutes into the debate after hearing the answer, standing firmly pro-Homestuck. Charter, claiming that the SSBP had been bastardized by Koknese's radical beliefs[30] left the coalition as well. The LSSU coalition completely fell apart within 10 minutes of the debate starting.
Yeetmaster, an SSBP member who was believed not to be able to attend, joined the debate after the coalition had already fully collapsed, already not having been part of the coalition talks, communicating through a 7-year-old tablet. Disregarding a minor incident where an old man wandered onto the debate stage, the debate continued. Koknese further called for "lynching" server members by democratic vote, wishing to implement a Chudledsky™ Score system, intended to keep track of chuddery and allow for server members themselves to pit users after guilt was determined. With the first debate proving itself to be a disaster for the LSSU, Walter, when asked which of the other candidates he supported most, threw his support behind Shitmaster LarKcuavian.
Shortly after the debate, Koknese established the SwagBalls political theory, and it is as follows;
- Paleo-Shartyism - SSBP Values, focus on total homestuck eradication and power to the proles. Inherits some Revolutionary ideas. - Shartyism - TBPWIFS Values, focus on religion and total girard rule - Neo-shartyism - LSSU Values, focus on total freedom to discuss homestuck, oppose everything that SSBP stands for.
Post-Debate Fallout
![](/images/thumb/b/b4/SSBP_supporters.png/225px-SSBP_supporters.png)
Widely believed to be one of the worst campaign blunders in the history of elections, the SSBP never fully recovered from the political fallout birthed from Koknese's anti-Homestuck comments. While most of the former SSBP electorate had switched to the newly formed LSSU, without the SSBP, statements in support of segregation and lynching led to the consolidation of the radical wing of the party, which stayed firmly in support of Koknese's policies. While Koknese has claimed that there was a word mix-up due to English being his second language, believing to be a complete synonym for "execution", without knowledge of the term's racist past, the radical beliefs of the SSBP continued to turn off voters.
Yeetmaster, not wishing to associate with the SSBP in light of the debate, decided to run as an independent, gaining moderate support even without a party to back him. A political moderate, supporting a fairer judicial system without favoritism and more government transparency, his campaign, while somewhat successful, was unable to draw many votes from the radical SSBP base.
Charter, the elected leader of the reformed LSSU, is thrown into the pit in order to prevent escalating political violence after calling opposition leader Koknese a "fucking idiot". He is released soon after, and is invited to the second debate on March 16.
The Second Debate
The second debate was set to start on March 16 at 3:00 PM GMT, with all candidates in the race being invited. Due to a variety of circumstances, however, it was only Walter who showed up on time, and the debate started without any other candidate being present. The battle of wits with his greatest opponent, himself, soon ended as Charter arrived late, still on time to answer the first question. The candidates continued pouring in, as Shitmaster LarKcuavian soon joined to attend the debate as well, having just woken up, followed by Koknese, who would be the last candidate to arrive for the debate, having driven through the Latvian cold to bring medication to a family member. Other candidates reported work and oversleeping as the main reason for their absence.
Generally of a calmer atmosphere than the first one, no great scandal plagued the debate, which was set to end with the official opening of the election polls, giving one final chance for all the candidates to make their case for themselves and to tend to wounds given to their campaign over the past days. Koknese formally apologized for his usage of the word "lynching" in his policies on the same stage that caused a party split just two days prior, giving a more moderate tone to his campaign and attempting to appeal to progressives by endorsing the usage of tone indicators[note 17] to protect the right to tell others to kill themselves.
The debates concluded in high spirits with a beautiful message from Big Brother,[note 18] followed immediately after by the opening of the #🎫-voting-booth. The closed-ballot elections were to be open for the following 36 hours, without even the Inner Party Members having access to the results before they closed. The political atmosphere, for a short while, calmed down, as the server members eagerly awaited the results.
Opinion Polls
![](/images/thumb/0/04/SBElectionPollingMarch2024.png/536px-SBElectionPollingMarch2024.png)
Publication date | Polling firm | Votes | The Party | SSBP | TBPWIFS | SDP | LPDF | SASP | FUN | Yeetmaster | |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
March 4 | Koknese forms the SwagBalls Sharty Party and Charter creates the SwagBalls Booru Party. The two parties unite shortly after to create the SwagBalls Sharty Booru Party (SSBP). | ||||||||||
March 12 | Chauka forms the SwagBalls Democratic Party (SDP) to stand in opposition to the Party, unhappy with SSBP policy. | ||||||||||
Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st forms the The Best Party, Which I Fully Support (TBPWIFS). | |||||||||||
The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs | 22 | 7 | 5 | 3 | 7 | ||||||
March 13 | Lin forms the Lininist Party for Democracy and Freedom (LPDF) | ||||||||||
The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs | 25 | 6 | 7 | 4 | 6 | 2 | |||||
March 14 | Ballistyx forms the Swag and Security Party (SASP). | ||||||||||
Barley forms the Firetamers United Nation (FUN). | |||||||||||
The SSBP, SDP and LPDF form the Lininist SwagBalls-Sharty Union (LSSU), a united coalition to stand against the Party. | |||||||||||
During the First Election Debate, the coalition agreement falls apart in hilarious fashion. | |||||||||||
The LSSU is reformed without the SSBP after its lead candidate vocally supported Homestucker lynching on the debate stage. Charter is elected as the coalition's candidate. | |||||||||||
Yeetmaster splits off from the SSBP to run as an independent. | |||||||||||
The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs | 29 | 7 | 4 | 5 | 4 | 4 | 1 | 2 | 1 | ||
9[note 19] | |||||||||||
March 15 | Charter is thrown into the Pit under charges of 3rd-degree chuddery. The Party denied any political motivation behind the indictment. | ||||||||||
The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs | 41 | 9 | 6 | 8 | 3 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | ||
7 | |||||||||||
March 16 | Charter is let out of the Pit without major punishment. | ||||||||||
The Second Election Debate takes place. All candidates but Big Brother are late to show up. | |||||||||||
The Election Committee of the Party Bureau of Internal Affairs | 43 | 9 | 7 | 8 | 3 | 3 | 4 | 4 | 4 | ||
9 | |||||||||||
Final poll before the #🎫-voting-booth opens for the next 36 hours.[note 20] The elections officially begin on March 16, 2024 at 16:04 GMT. |
Results
The election results were counted and made public on March 17 at 19:00 GMT.[31] While no candidate received a majority, the Party, led by Walter, achieved the largest share of the popular vote at 29.2%, outperforming polling, winning in a landslide against the other candidates, with the second-largest party, TBPWIFS, trailing behind by 8.4 points. With the elections utilizing a single-vote, first-past-the-post system, Walter was officially declared server Swagsident, legitimizing the Party's rule through democratic means.
Post-Election Riots
![](/images/thumb/5/5a/ElectionFraudSB.png/182px-ElectionFraudSB.png)
Despite the glaring success of the democratic experiment, electing a leader supported by a plurality of the people, the representatives from many of the losing parties were quick to call the elections into question, deeming them unfair and throwing out the results. With a message announcing the reformation of the Revolutionaries[32] making waves, it was clear that the democracy the Party had fought so hard to create was threatened by radicals. With the most destructive members given temporary timeouts, it was clear that the core issue was being ignored. Attempting to quell discontent, Shitmaster LarKcuavian OKctavio De Willis Gimblejrad Gungdimyr Flemtoto The 603st, who had shown his support for democratic ideals by deciding not to participate in the protests against the rightful rulers of SwagCord, was named Vice-Swagsident, reaching a combined popular vote of 50%.
While the Walter-LarKcuavian government was sworn into office without bloodbath, calls against the two continued into their term, with Shitmaster LarKcuavian, the lead reformer as chosen by the people, being called a populist and a Party bootlicker. Nonetheless, the Vice-Swagsident opted to go the route of not giving a swag in the face of these baseless attacks, and decided to focus his time on helping change the nation for the better before the next elections put his popularity to the test. As a possible Chudfederacy secession loomed on the horizon, securing support remained key.
Outer Heaven: Ragecord
After extreme dissatisfaction with the "god complex" of the vice-swagsident, Koknese, yeetmaster and Charter decided to create a branch of SwagCord called the Ragecord. It is a discord server that's main theme is 2008 larp with ragecomics and Justin Bieber hatred.
Koknese, after finding out what other members were saying about them while Koknese and Charter were offline, have truly committed to making the ragecord their new home. Koknese set the ideology of "crossbreeding meme cultures and uniting them in ragecomics", which included advertising the server om various platforms to achieve maximum diversity in humor and in hopes to create hybrid memes that would get more members into their community. The server is advertised in SpaceHey and Tumblr.
Like the aforementioned "crossbreeding", the trio also brought in some of their Swagballs culture to the table. The server quickly had summoned Girards' cousin - Reginald, which apparently, Girard despises. Meme Alt has also given Koknese the source code for the SwagBalls bot and he quickly edited it and established the Ragecord equivalent of pitting practices - tickets to Justin Bieber performances.
The trio also vowed to leave Swagballs once they gain a stable, active member count, each with their own reasons - one maybe feels slightly offended by the shittalking, others may also be tied with the god complex of Larkc.
Ragecord has merged with Hellcord, an inactive, 500 user filled subreddit/server. SwagBalls politologists and forecasters have projected Ragecord to reach a minimum of 200~ members until late August.
The Walter-LarKcuavian Government
![](/images/thumb/e/e8/SwagCordHolyTrinity.png/317px-SwagCordHolyTrinity.png)
Campaign Promises | Latest Action | Current Status |
---|---|---|
The removal of rules 3.1[note 21] and 2.5,[note 22] as any serious cases would already fall under rule 2.3.[note 23] | May 20th, 2024 | Passed by executive order |
The redefinition of rule 2.3[note 23] to clarify boundaries and avoid misuse. | March 20th, 2024 | Passed by executive order [note 24] |
The re-categorization of rule 1.1[note 25] to a 2nd-degree offense. | March 22nd, 2024 | Died in committee |
The implementation of a new rule to treat seriousposting outside of serious channels as a 3rd-degree offense. | July 2nd, 2024 | Policy abandoned [note 26] |
The legal recognition of girard's Godhood status. | March 19th, 2024 | Passed by executive order |
The banning of Homestuck in all contexts, excluding divine messages from girard alone. | April 14th, 2024 | Passed by executive order |
May 19th, 2024 | Struck down by Congress [note 27] | |
Giving each TBPWIFS voter 550 USD. [note 28] | (-) | Pending |
Mod Votes | Latest Action | Current Status |
The setting up of a server partnership with Shark Park. | April 26th, 2024 | Passed 13–2 Signed into law |
The setting up of a server partnership with Ragecord. | April 29th, 2024 | Failed 3–9 |
The stripping of Lin's admin perms after the rabbit incident. | June 27th, 2024 | Failed 4–7 |
Making Barley an admin. | June 27th, 2024 | Failed 3–5 |
Making Shitmaster LarKcuavian a moderator. | July 14th, 2024 | Passed 6–0 |
The Mid Rebellion
The Mid Rebellion | |
---|---|
Part of the SwagBalls Post-election Civil Unrest | |
Date | May 8, 2024, 21:07-22:21 UTC±01:00 (74 minutes) |
Location | #the-pit |
Goals | • Deposing Shitmaster LarKcuavian from power • Ending segregation and the branding of 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓈 |
Result | Status Quo upheld |
Belligerents | |
69SwagBalls420 Government | Ragecord Revolutionaries |
Commanders and leaders | |
• President Walter • Vice-president LarKcuavian | • Charter • Koknese • Boris Chico |
Strength | |
2 active participants • 1 president • 1 vice-president | 5 active participants • 2 revolutionary leaders • 2 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓈 • 1 Chauka |
Casualties and losses | |
• 5 pits • 2 revolutionaries pledge allegiance to SwagCord | |
74 minutes wasted |
On a chilly evening in Eastern Europe, something suspicious was going on in Ragecord. The SwagBalls ambassador and leader, Walter was forcefully thrown into a bunker under the pretenses of Charter and Koknese keeping him safe from nuclear war. In truth, a riot was brewing in Ragecord's SwagBallian politics channel, as Koknese started rallying up the 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓈 and the Ragecordian separatists.
Shortly after assembling in #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜, Koknese started directing cryptic, single-word messages in the chat calling for standby, before at once releasing a crowd of 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓈 on the server, spamming messages and 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓎 GIFs in support of the riot. Yet mere moments later, the rebellion was quelled, as Walter emerged from the bunker just in time to stop the riot, immediately shooting Koknese with a taser and disposing of him in The Pit, with the rest soon following.
Despite the Ragecord leadership being convinced in the success of their plan, it's swift failure indicated foul play. A leak had occurred. One of the Ragecordian 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀𝓈, Joff_e, had contacted Walter hours before in private to warn him of the incoming rebellion. When he was thrown into the bunker, he had already taken notice of the Ragecordian plans, allowing for a quick and immediate response to the revolt. Thrown into The Pit, the Ragecordians awaited punishment.
Originally planning on staying silent, Koknese responded only with GIFs of an imprisoned Navalny, however, after being taunted by Walter by asking if he preferred to die by Novichok or a gunshot, he began speaking up, as did the rest of the Pit Dwellers. Giving them a choice, Walter the rebels freedom in exchange for a pledge of undying loyalty to SwagCord. Chauka immediately took the offer and was freed from The Pit. Koknese, Charter and Peace, who had recently returned to the server, now standing to advocate for 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓀 rights, would not accept the terms, instead speaking out about their grievances with the server, primarily concerning the election of Shitmaster LarKcuavian as Vice-Swagsident, demanding his immediate resignation in exchange for the end of the coup.
As it became increasingly clear that Charter's and Koknese's grievances would not be met through words alone, Koknese began threatening Walter with more serious threats, mentioning the presence of up to 10 alt accounts he had managed to sneak into the server over the months he could use to spam the server. The threats continued increasing in scope, and eventually included calling the Cockroach. Having performed an interview with him recently as part of an abandoned SwagCord documentary, Koknese had the ability to potentially contact the subhuman creature, and supply it with the aforementioned alt accounts. Walter did not back down in face of the threats, calling out the bluff. The Cockroach was ultimately not called upon.
In order to enable the enjoyment of the incredible nature of the conversation, The Pit was opened for the entire server to see. Upon personal request, a major debate sparked as Vice-Swagsident LarKcuavian decided to enter The Pit. As the conversation got more heated with his appearance, the ensuing conversation revealed major contrasts between public perception of the powers of the Vice-Swagsident and reality, with a prevalent belief amongst the rebels that the Vice-Swagsident had anything more than ceremonial powers, at one point hilariously calling for making LarKcuavian a figurehead leader in exchange for ending the rebellion, unknowingly simply upholding the status quo. 74 minutes after the users were thrown into The Pit, they were released, with no major change affecting the server.
With the rebellion resulting in failure, Joff_e was executed for treason by the Ragecord mod team and banned from the server. He would later be brought back by koknese in exchange for several 2024 Eurovision votes for the latvian candidate Dons.
The Midterm Elections
Shitmaster LarKcuavian's vice-presidency turned into a deeply polarizing subject in SwagBallian society in the weeks after the election. Although detractors were already present since the very beginning, the recently attempted coup, although deeply undemocratic and aimed at mostly imaginary threats [note 29], it showed strong fervor against the current government. It is for this reason that the mod team, in all their wisdom, decided to once again allow the people of SwagCord to exercise their democratic will - for the people can truly never be wrong.
Two months into LarKcuavian's term, midterm elections were to be called, in order to elect the newly formed Senate, in order to allow more server members to actively participate in the server's governance. The roles and the composition of the Senate at the time still undefined, a server-wide referendum was sent out, letting the people decide how they are to be governed - by choosing one of two hand-selected options from the always benevolent Party.
Constitutional Referendum | Date Held | Result |
---|---|---|
The definition of the composition of the newly-created Senate. Choice between "3 elected representatives" and "4 elected representatives with the Vice-Swagsident, appointed by the Swagsident, serving as the tie-breaker." |
May 15th, 2024 | 3 senators (93.75% in favor) |
The defining of the powers of the Senate. Choice between "advisory powers" and "binding legislative power, compensated by the expansion of the executive power of the Swagsident and Vice-Swagsident." |
May 15th, 2024 | Advisory powers (71.43% in favor) |
Making the records of #🏛-senate viewable to the public. | May 22th, 2024 | Yes (63.64% in favor) |
The election was set for May 18, with a much shorter election cycle than the previous time, and more seats to compete for.
NSP
![](/images/thumb/d/dc/NSP_election_poster.png/317px-NSP_election_poster.png)
In light of the rumors surrounding the midterm elections before their official announcement, on May 12, Dainis of the New SwagBalls Sharty Booru Party (NSSBP) approached Chauka, still the leader of the SwagBalls Democratic Party (SDP), with the idea to merge the two parties into one, uniting them together to make the elections count. Together they would form the New SwagBalls Democratic Shartyist Party (NSDSP)!
With a past history of radical anti-Homestuck comments, including calls for their lynching, parallels were immediately drawn with an unfortunate historical acronym the party's name seemed to evoke. The party leadership was quick to shut down such comments, and immediately searched for a way to rebrand, finally settling on the New Sharty Party (NSP) - a party with a platform inspired by the satirical 2019 presidential campaign of Croatian political activist Dario Juričan, and a simple motto - "Corruption for all!"
A new channel was to be created, archiving the two of the previous parties, and as was custom, an emoji was to be used to represent the movement. Dainis considered a lightning bolt as a representation of corruption, but decided against it following past blunders. Instead, Chauka recommended ✴, which was once again put into question by critics [note 30], before 😽👍 was finally settled on.
Despite many unfortunate coincidences that came to be as the party was being set up, as Charter was brought onto the team, the NSP quickly became the election favorites, with all three of its candidates expected to take a seat in Senate, allowing for complete control of the legislature.
The Debate
The candidates were called for a debate on Saturday night of May 18, hours before the elections were called. Most of them seasoned politicians at this point in their careers, unlike the first time, the debate started without much issue, as candidates were called one by one to explain to the public their political motivations and why it should be them who should capture their vote that night. And it all went as expected until Xertun showed up.
Hailing from the gambling-oriented catposting server Xertuncord, its owner recently joined the server, along with many of its other prominent users, following a partnership with SwagCord, which included the reopening of the #🤑-gambling channel and integration of the Discord stock-trading bot Purrtun. Although knowing certain people in the server, Xertun for the most part remained ignorant of what went on in the server. Allegedly, he was not even aware this was a Senate election, but a race for president. And so, when it came his turn to set an agenda, he replied with a simple "hallo" and waved goodbye.
The audience was immediately swayed in his favor, a mostly unknown independent candidate suddenly stood front and center. As the questions kept piling on, as the other candidates gave paragraphs upon paragraphs of long answers, Xertun captured the hearts of the people with unseen honesty and earnestness. Not knowing what question he was even answering, he opened up Minecraft in the middle of the debate, never letting go of the absolutely clueless demeanor. In that moment, everyone in the audience saw themselves in Xertun.
Results
May 18-19, 2024 | ||
←March 2024[note 31] | November 2024→ | |
3 votes allowed per voter 3 candidates with the most votes win | ||
Turnout | ![]() | |
![]() |
![]() | |
Nominee | Chauka | Xertunposter |
Party | New Shartyist Party | Independent |
Votes | 12 | 11 |
Percentage | 60% ![]() |
55% ![]() |
![]() |
![]() | |
Nominee | Charter | Dainis Koknese |
Party | New Shartyist Party | New Shartyist Party |
Votes | 8 | 7 |
Percentage | 40% ![]() |
35% ![]() |
![]() |
![]() | |
Nominee | Flaming Testicle (left) | Ballistyx |
Party | Swagstuck Funny Peter Party | The Communist Party of Swagcord (Party-endorsed) |
Votes | 5 | 3 |
Percentage | 25% ![]() |
15% ![]() |
![]() |
||
Nominee | Swagger Sr. | Empty Ballot |
Party | Independent | Anarchist Party |
Votes | 1 | 5 |
Percentage | 5% ![]() |
25% ![]() |
Composition of the 1st SwagBallian Congress | ||
![]() | ||
Political groups:
|
The greatest kind of leader is one who does not wish to even be one. Xertun's performance during the debate has been credited by many to have been the sole reason for such a strong showing during voting night. Had he not been in the race, it is expected that his seat would have gone to Dainis, allowing for total NSP control of the Senate. Instead, an air of incompetent cluelessness runs through the Senate halls, and Xertun's approval ratings could not be higher.
Chauka and Charter, the remaining top figureheads of the NSP, took the remaining two seats. Although belonging to the same political party, it is important to note that they did not vote uniformly in favor of all of proposed bills. Each senator reserves the right to vote independently on each proposal, no matter their political affiliation.
Below sits a record of all legislative actions taken by the 1st Congress during their two month term, as well as the fate of each bill. Following a server-wide referendum, any words spoken in the chambers of the Senate are a matter of public record, viewable in #🏛-the-senate, and condensed in this article for convenient viewing. The mod team reserved the exclusive right to veto any legislation it deemed a threat to the current democratic order of the server.
Legislative proposal | Latest Action | Current Status |
---|---|---|
The striking down of the total ban on Homestuck imposed by the Walter-LarKcuavian administration. | May 19th, 2024 | Passed 3-0 Signed into Law |
The imposing of a total ban on speedposting. | May 19th, 2024 | Passed 3-0 Signed into Law |
The extension of girard Weekends to three days, covering Mondays. | May 20th, 2024 | Passed 2-1 Signed into Law |
The cutting of greenie welfare in order to pay for Congress salaries. | May 20th, 2024 | Passed 2-0 Signed into Law |
The unbanning of the word Ragecord and all of its variants. | May 22th, 2024 | Passed 2-1 Signed into Law |
The creation of the #🕳-people-of-the-pit channel to publicly announce bans and pits in an organized fashion. | May 23th, 2024 | Passed 3-0 Signed into Law |
Telling Walter to go fuck himself. | May 23th, 2024 | Failed 1-2 |
The taking of Shitmaster LarKcuavian's Senate perms away. | May 25th, 2024 | Vetoed |
Telling Decoherence to go fuck himself. | May 28th, 2024 | Vetoed |
The opening of a channel every user but Shitmaster LarKcuavian has access to. | May 28th, 2024 | Vetoed |
The unbanning of the word "retarded". | May 31st, 2024 | Failed 1-2 |
Bringing back #⚽-sportsball for 24 hours, allowing each member to post a single message. | June 2nd, 2024 | Passed 3-0 Signed into Law |
The holding of a birthday party for Xertun (I). | June 7th, 2024 | Passed 3-0 Signed into Law |
Making The Senate floor the senators' to use as they please. | June 10th, 2024 | Failed 1-0 [note 32] [note 33] |
The commending of the Senate for their amazing work and immense contribution to the server. | June 17th, 2024 | Vetoed |
The legalization of bullying users with Picrew avatars. | June 25th, 2024 | Failed 1-2 |
Making Charter's kittens the mascots of the server. | July 5th, 2024 | Passed 2-0 Signed into Law |
Allowing Dainis to run in the elections again after being disqualified for voter fraud. | July 15th, 2024 | Vetoed |
Mod Purge
Polling
Since the March elections, a number of polls have been done gauging the server's opinion on the actions of the vice-president and the mod team. Information about their results, sample sizes and dates of publishing is shown in the table below.
Publication date | Polling firm | Question | Results | Participants | |||||||||
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
March 17 | President Walter and vice-president LarKcuavian are sworn into office. | ||||||||||||
May 8 | A failed coup is performed on the government. | ||||||||||||
May 19 | The elected senators take their seats for the first time. | ||||||||||||
Dainis Koknese & Associates Conglomerate Ltd. |
"Do you oppose [the striking down of the Homestuck ban in #🏠-mental-asylum]?" | Yes | No | 8 | |||||||||
33% | 66% | ||||||||||||
May 21 | Dainis Koknese & Associates Conglomerate Ltd. |
"...how do you view [the Vice-Swagsident's] tenure?" | Very Positive | Somewhat Positive | Neutral | Somewhat Negative | Very Negative | 16 | |||||
6% | 19% | 25% | 6% | 44% | |||||||||
May 29 | Dainis Koknese & Associates Conglomerate Ltd. |
"Will you vote in this summer's presidential election?" | Yes | No | Unsure | 15 | |||||||
67% | 27% | 7% | |||||||||||
June 11 | Dainis Koknese & Associates Conglomerate Ltd. |
"If elections would happen tommorow, who would you vote for?" | NSP | The Party/Glowie Parties [note 34] |
Xertun | Other | Will not vote | 17 | |||||
18% | 6% | 59% | 6% | 12% | |||||||||
June 28 | Five inactive moderators are removed from the mod team. | ||||||||||||
Dainis Koknese & Associates Conglomerate Ltd. |
"Do you support [the demodding of inactive moderators done] by the mod team?" | Yes | Neutral | No | 10 | ||||||||
80% | 20% | 0% | |||||||||||
July 14 | The July elections are held. Minutes before the results are announced, Shitmaster LarKcuavian is made moderator. | ||||||||||||
Dainis Koknese & Associates Conglomerate Ltd. |
"[How do you feel about] the addition of moderational powers to LarKc?" | Very Positive | Somewhat Positive | Neutral | Somewhat Negative | Very Negative | 9 | ||||||
22% | 33% | 0 | 0 | 44% |
The July Elections
July 14, 2024 | |||
←March 2024[editor's note 15] | |||
Plurality of votes needed to win | |||
Turnout | ![]() | ||
![]() |
![]() | ||
Nominee | Flaming Testicle (Left) | Barley | |
Party | Swagstuck Funny Peter Party |
Holy Wizard Council | |
Ideology | Drawing His Peters girardism |
Greater Community Involvement Government Transparency (Moderate) girardism Not Giving a Swag | |
Votes | 8 | 5 [note 36] | |
Percentage | ![]() |
![]() | |
![]() |
![]() |
||
Nominee | Xertun | Shitmaster LarKcuavian | |
Party | Independent | Moexist-Lesterist Vanguard Party Holy Wizard Council | |
Ideology | idk placeholder placeholder |
Moexism-Lesterism girardism Not Giving a Swag Status Quo | |
Votes | 6 | 4 | |
Percentage | ![]() |
![]() | |
![]() |
![]() | ||
Nominee | Ballistyx | Boris Chico | |
Party | Communist Party of Swagcord | Communist Party of Swagcord Sudacan Liberal Campaign | |
Ideology | Coal Purge Greater Community Involvement |
Law and Order Barring Inactive Users from Voting | |
Votes | 2 | 2 | |
Percentage | ![]() |
![]() | |
![]() | |||
Nominee | Dainis Koknese | ||
Party | New Sharty Party | ||
Ideology | Right-Wing to Far-Right Pro-corruption Anti-Moderation Team Government Transparency (Radical) Increasing the Size of #🏛the-senate Anti-Immigration | ||
Votes | Disqualified | ||
Percentage | ![]() |
Background
Debate
Election Fraud
*record scratch*
You are probably wondering how the NSP got itself into this situation. To find out that, we have to go back. Way back.
On July 6, at the very start of the election campaign period, Walter received a private message. It was from Chauka, and carried troubling news. The citizens of Ragecord, responsible for the failed coup in May, were at it again, once more trying to subvert SwagBallian democracy. Realizing that a loud and bombastic route was no way to go, a more sinister scheme was being plotted - election fraud. In an election as small as this one, even a few votes are enough to sway the results, and according to the intelligence received, several alt accounts were to be used in order to manipulate the results in the NSP's favor. The login information of one of the accounts was provided, through which it was verified the threat was to be considered legitimate.
Several days pass. Dainis joins Ragecord, only to disappear in seconds. Moments later, georgebushsextape, an account that is rarely ever active in SwagCord, opens Ragecord to tell people to vote for the NSP. The plot is slowly starting to take shape. Walter shares the information that he got from Chauka, stating that a non-insignificant amount of fraud is likely to take place. He shares two accounts, one Chauka's, the other one, georgebushsextape, belonging to Dainis.
On July 12, an announcement is made. It clarifies that one will be unable to vote without being registered. A role is assigned to each and every voter who registers, allowing them to vote on the ballot. More interestingly, however, it gives the moderators a full list of who is allowed to vote. In the hours following the announcement, several new accounts register. Although some of them are SwagCord regulars, a majority of them are noticed to be inactive accounts with only a few messages on the server. None of them have any roles that could have been pinged, and would have no reason to check the server at this moment, however, they line up together like clockwork to register within hours of each other.
Among those suspicious accounts, another interesting one appears - and is immediately pitted. A confirmed Dainis alt, which left the server while it was in the Pit, appears in formation with the other ones, however, due to instantly being pitted, it is unable to register to vote. Regardless, it serves as further confirmation that Dainis was the one behind the previous accounts joining the server. A list is formed. Profiles are collected. Accounts are verified, as far as that is possible. Eight names are written down. The rest are thrown out. All that remains is to wait for the perfect moment to put it all on the table.
* Leonid Ilyich Brezhnyev [note 37] * georgebushsextape [note 38] * xXxPronounGaming_YTxXx [note 39] * Woke Abraham Lincoln [note 40] * Elon Mosque [note 41] * VAGINAL RAPER [note 42] * Fred Durst [note 43] * jaunavienotiba [note 44]
The Modding of LarKc
With results already looking uncertain hours before the polls closed, it was becoming increasingly clear the Shitmaster LarKcuavian would be leaving office after the night was over. His place in the mod chat would be replaced by someone else. However, with four months already spent in #admin-family-guy-roleplay, his presence had grown on some members of the mod team, and the wish to keep him was especially felt at the top. As his final act as President, Walter opened a vote to allow for the permanent addition of Shitmaster LarKcuavian to the server's mod team. Minutes before the presidential vote ended, LarKc was given moderating perms after a 6-0 vote, indicating support from a majority of the other moderators. The results were about to be opened to the public.
Results
The #🎫-voting-booth closes. The results are revealed. Flaming Testicle (left) wins the race, with a staggering 30% of the vote. A surprising and stunning victory, the joke candidate is widely believed to have won because of the NSP vote transferring to the SFPP camp after Dainis's disqualification. The HWC achieved a total of 9 votes between Barley and Shitmaster LarKcuavian, although a combined total that is slightly more than that of Testicle, unable to form a majority on their own. Xertun's strong debate performance once again translated into a strong showing, achieving 6 votes. Coalition building was soon to ensue.
The Testicle-Barley Government
Sworn in on the night of July 14, 2024, after a long and confusing debate over who would be Vice-President, where absolutely no one knew what was going on, it was decided that Barley would serve alongside Flaming Testicle (left), proclaimed the second SwagBallian president. Although the pair possessed slightly less than 50% of the server's support, as necessitated by the Constitution,[note 45] Shitmaster LarKcuavian, recently modded, ceded his support to Barley, allowing for power to be transferred to the pair.
![](/images/thumb/f/fe/SFPPmanifesto.jpg/269px-SFPPmanifesto.jpg)
Trouble immediately arose as it was soon realized that Flaming Testicle (left), although having won the election by huge margins, did not actually possess any political platform to speak of. The SFPP manifesto was seemingly non-existent, having vanished into thin air. Thrown into office by a faction of disaffected NSP voters after Dainis's disqualification, the people demanded change. But how could any proposal be implemented if no proposal was to be found?
Thankfully, the SFPP manifesto was soon recovered by Banarnar, a crumpled up, crudely written-on piece of paper lying in the trash can, outlining all of the president's proposals in detail. The proposals of the President and Vice-President, and their current status, have been outlined below.
Campaign Promises | Latest Action | Current Status |
---|---|---|
girard but everywhere | July 15th, 2024 | Passed by executive order |
Total |
- | Pending |
Draw my peters | July 15th, 2024 | Commission sent out |
Mod Votes | Latest Action | Current Status |
Rules
Old Rules
The rules of SwagBalls were originally posted by Meme Alt on February 22nd, 2022, with additional rules being added at later dates. The no bigotry rules were strengthened as a variety of slurs were banned in all contexts, removed automatically by the AutoModerator. On May 15th, 2023, Walter clarified the list of words banned under the rules, as well as their respective punishments.
The old rules of SwagBalls were as follows:
![](/images/thumb/6/69/SwagBalls_banner_June_2023.webp/218px-SwagBalls_banner_June_2023.webp.png)
- No racism.
- No homophobia or LGBTQ+ related phobia.
- No spam.
- No suspicious links, files, malware.
- No gore/NSFL/Violent videos (videos/pictures/gifs of real death, injuries, violence etc. This includes humans and animals)
- No sexism.
- No disrespecting others.
- Please try to post the right content in the appropriate channels. I will not be too harsh on enforcing this but keep that in mind.
- If you want truly serious discussion without jokes or memes go to #serious-discussion
- DO NOT be inappropriate with people under the age of 18.
- There will absolutely be no discussion or talk of Femboys. Nor will there be any sharing of content including femboys. This includes but is not limited to videos, memes, pictures, copypastas etc...
- Amendment to 11: Boykisser falls under this and is banned.
- If you somehow have permission to. Do not ping @ everyone OR @ any role without permission from the server owner.
- Do not post any sexual content such as porn.
- No horny talk, no horny memes, no horny jokes on this server. It is cringe and inappropriate. I do not care if you think its a joke, do not do it.
- Amendment to rule 14: don't talk about gooning or edging.
- Absolutely no doxxing for any reason. Not even yourself.
- There will be absolutely no venting on this server anywhere. #serious-discussion will only be for discussions.
- The main language of this server is English. So please, only speak in english.
- Do not share pirated material.
- Absolutely no political discussions at all. You will be warned first. If you continue then you will be muted.
- If someone genuinely tells you that your jokes make them uncomfortable, no matter how ironic, you should stop making them immediately.
- You are not allowed to advertise discord servers
It should be noted that Rule 16 was not enforced at all, and discussion of piracy did not violate Rule 18.
New Criminal Code
On March 2, 2024, as part of the 1984 Chud Crackdown, the old rules were rewritten in order to cut down on gray areas and to make the rules' enforcement both more transparent and easier, and were subsequently unanimously voted in favor of by the moderators (8-0) with minor alterations. Made public on March 4, 2024, with offenses separated into three degrees of severity, the new rules, crafted by Decoherence, read as follows:
--- FIRST DEGREE OFFENSES ---
A first degree offense will be met with an instant ban.
1.1. BIGOTRY. Posting bigoted content is a first degree offense.
1.2. MALWARE. Posting malware is a first degree offense.
1.3. GORE. Posting IRL gore or shock content without a warning is a first degree offense.
1.4. PORN. Posting porn is a first degree offense.
1.5. DOXXING. Doxxing ANYONE, even yourself, is a first degree offense.
-- SECOND DEGREE OFFENSES --
A second degree offense will be met with a trip to the pit. In particularly egregious cases, the mod team may ban the offending user after discussing the case while the user remained pitted.
2.1. SPAM. Spamming in channels is a second degree offense. Spamming advertisements in channels is a first degree offense.
2.2. VIOLENCE. Posting videos that contain IRL violence without a spoiler tag or warning is a second degree offense.
2.3. HARRASSMENT. Ongoing harassment of any user is a second degree offense and may be met with a ban after review by the mod team.
2.4. HORNY CONVERSATIONS. Thirstposting, thirst comments, or any sexually charged conversation is a second degree offense. This includes posting shock content/porn memes like incredible gassy or gooning. A sexually charged conversation with a minor is a first degree offense.
- THIRD DEGREE OFFENSES -
A third degree offense will be met with a /warn. A user who accumulates three warnings will be sent to the pit and the mod team may discuss banning such a user.
3.1. NON-ENGLISH CONVERSATIONS. Speaking in a language other than English is difficult for the mod team to moderate, and may be met with a mute if kept up for more than a few messages. Talking about other languages is fine. The issue is if you have conversations that other people can't understand.
3.2. PIRACY. Sharing pirated material is a third degree offense, and the material in question will be deleted.
3.3. POLITICAL DISCUSSIONS. Discussing politics is a third degree offense. For the purposes of this rule, "political" discussions are those in which participants voice opinions about how society ought to progress, or what ought to be done about a socio-economic issue.
3.4. ADVERTISING. Advertising discord servers or commercial products is a third degree offense. Advertising scams/NFTs/cryptocurrency is a first degree offense.
3.5. FEMBOYS. Discussion of femboys is a third degree offense. This includes posting boykisser.
3.6. BE SERIOUS. Shitposting oe otherwise joking in serious-discussions-1 is a third degree offense. Repeat offenders will be thrown into the pit.
3.7. NO HOMESTUCK. The original sin will not be mentioned by name. Any offending post will be deleted off the face of the earth. This does not apply only in the #🏠-mental-asylum.
Former Rules
The following rules have been completely removed since being first instituted:
- 2.5. ENCOURAGING SUICIDE OR SELF-HARM. Encouraging suicide or self-harm, even telling people to "kys" as a joke, is a second degree offense.
- Removed for being overbroad, in theory limiting jokes as much as unironic statements, in practice being rarely enforced, while any serious cases would have already fallen under Rule 2.3.
- 3.1. DISRESPECT. Insulting or demeaning another user is a third degree offense. If you feel that you are being harrassed, consider DMing a moderator about it so that action may be taken.
- Removed for being overbroad, in theory limiting jokes as much as unironic statements, in practice being rarely enforced, while any serious cases would have already fallen under Rule 2.3.
The Constitution
In effect since July 4, 2024, the Constitution of 69SwagBalls420 Cord serves to define the roles of server government and to allow for the orderly and peaceful transfer of democratic power from one member to another under the benevolent guidance of the mod team. The text, drafted and written by Decoherence, can be viewed here.
Definitions
- 1.1. DRASTIC PROPOSITION: A drastic proposition is an proposition created by a branch of government that would make changes to core categories, core chats, the constitution itself, or the criminal code.
- 1.2. CORE CATEGORIES: The core categories are INFO, QOTD, EVENTS, TEMPLE OF GIRARD, VOICE, and ARCHIVE.
- 1.3. CORE CHATS: The core chats are #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜, #🤖-bot-commands, #😂-memes-😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂, and #😲-soyjaks-anonymous.
- 1.4. DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED: A democratically elected role is a role bestowed upon users based on the outcome of an election.
- 1.5. PLATFORM: A platform is a set of propositions (which can include drastic actions) that presidential candidates create before or during their campaign. These propositions will be considered by the vanguard committee if a candidate is democratically elected.
- 1.6. BILL: A bill is a proposition put forward by congress.
- 1.7. VETO: A veto is the ability to strike down any proposition put forwards. The president or an admin can veto any bill put forward by congress.
Organization of Government
- 2.1. COMPOSITION: Government is composed of the vanguard committee, the office of the president, and the senate.
- 2.2. THE VANGUARD COMMITTEE: Any user who has the admin, moderator, or swag god role is a member of the vanguard committee. The vanguard committee will regulate itself, and can choose to add or remove members to itself through an internal vote.
- 2.3. THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT: The office of the president is composed of two democratically elected members; the president and the vice president. The user with the highest percentage of the vote is president. The president and the vice president must represent a combined total of at least 50% of the vote.
- 2.4. THE SENATE: Senators are democratically elected. There is one senator for every 500 members of the server. These seats shall be filled by the candidates with the highest percentage of the vote in the senatorial election.
Powers of the Vanguard Committee
- 3.1. POWER: The vanguard committee has ultimate power over the server. With a successful internal vote, the committee may make any change to the server.
- 3.2. JUSTICE: Committee members are responsible for enforcing the criminal code. If a committee member abuses their powers, they may be removed from the committee following a vote by committee members.
- 3.3. OVERSIGHT: Any propositions made by the other two branches of government must be put into action by the committee. If these propositions are drastic, the committee is free to strike them down through an internal vote.
Powers of the Office of the President
- 4.1. ACCESS: The president and the vice president have the ability to read and post messages in #admin-family-guy-roleplay, 🏛-the-senate, and #the-pit.
- 4.2. EXECUTIVE ORDERS: At any time, the president can put forward an executive order: a single non-drastic proposition that will immediately be implemented by the vanguard committee, or, if possible, the president.
- 4.3. PLATFORM: When a president and vice president are elected, each article of their platforms must be considered by the vanguard committee and either passed or struck down.
- 4.4. TRANSFER OF POWER: If the president is pitted, banned, inactive for 7 days, or otherwise unable to perform their duties, the vice president will be granted their role and office until the president returns to action or is voted out of office.
Powers of the Senate
- 5.1. BILLS: Senators can put forward bills to make changes to the server. A bill must first be passed through the senate by an internal majority vote. In the case of a tie the vice president may vote to break the tie. If a bill meets the criteria of a drastic proposition, it must pass through an internal vote of the vanguard committee to be implemented.
- 5.2. LOBBYING: Users are encouraged to ask their senators to put forward bills on their behalf, and senators are encouraged to do so.
Election Procedures
- 6.1. SCHEDULE: Elections will be held in the second weeks of March, July, and November. Campaigning will begin on the first day of the week, and voting will take place on the last day of the week.
- 6.2. PARTIES: A party is a group of like-minded users who share ideas. During election week, each party shall be granted their own role and channel in the politics category. At the end of the week, the channels shall be archived. Parties are free to merge with other parties.
- 6.3. PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS: Any user can run for president. Each presidential candidate must have a platform if they wish to be added to the ballot. A user cannot run for president and senate in the same election.
- 6.4. SENATORIAL ELECTIONS: Any user can run for senate. A user cannot run for president and senate in the same election.
- 6.5. VOTING: Voting will be conducted through a private poll, with voting permissions restricted to registered voters. Each user is allowed 1 vote in the presidential election, and votes equal to the number of seats in the senatorial election.
Ongoing Campaigns
THIS SECTION OF THE ARTICLE IS A WORK IN PROGRESS.
SwagCraft
SwagCraft Legacy
SwagCraft Legacy was an entry in the SwagCraft server trilogy. Hosted by Ozzy, it became a spine-tingling adventure for all SwagBallers daring to take the call for adventure. Server also had a collab with wunkcord [citation needed], before closing down due to financial issues.
SwagCraft II
SwagCraft II was an entry in the SwagCraft trilogy. It was by far the most eventful across both iterations. Frequent members of the server call it similair to a ghost town, that keeps being haunted by ghosts that do things in the server. SwagCraft II saw the creation of the biggest organization yet, C.O.C.K, known for its brutalistic design choices and great economy. The organization has also achieved and refined flight technologies, making a one way plane, an expensive-to-use second plane, powered by flint and steel, and a third iteration, that was meant to be quick and cheap 4 way means of transportation, but unfortunately due to flaws in mechanisms, the plane broke apart and flew very far away. The server also saw the creation of the Swagology religion, having a full fledged bible and a church. The server was shut down due to financial and inactivity issues.
The SwagCraft
The SwagCraft is an entry in the SwagCraft trilogy, being the current one. In contrast to the other two servers, it is run in a different version of the game, and on a completely new map, as well now the dictator of the server being Koknese. The server funds were crowdfunded, guaranteeing long livelihood.
The SwagCraft slowly lost activity, and Koknese decided to give the server a quirk, having two teams compete against each other. This was quite unsuccessful, however, with activity remaining relatively low. On March 3rd 2024, the server was raided by a raiding group, which lavacasted all the buildings on the server. It is currently not known how they found the server's IP. While many blame the Cockroach for ordering the strike, these theories have mostly been considered baseless by reputable sources. An automated griefing process called SkyNet, which allows for computer generation of IP addresses, is currently believed to be the most probable cause, as it would require no intentional leak from a server member.[33]
SwagCraft IV: A New Hope
OPERATION 9SWAG [editor's note 16]
You've heard of the 9GAG app.
We all have, the legend, the curses.
Foolishness about it lying on the second page of Google, buried beneath Reddit posts.
A dark, decrepit monument leading dank memers to their doom.
The Internet's most famous memes and image macros were invited to its Grand Opening.
An invitation was a sign of... exclusiveness.
The Opening was supposed to symbolize a road to a brighter future, not just for the world...
... but for all who scrolled through its posts.
A chance for anyone to meme again.
Except - 9GAG never flourished.
Its culture got frozen in time, like a big flashbulb going off.
The Grand Opening - one big ending of hilarity.
It's still out there, on Google Play, preserved, just waiting for someone to crack it open.
But getting to it. That's not the hard part.
The existence of 9GAG has long been known to many. Created in 2008 by Hong Kong entrepreneur Ray Chan, it has for years been mocked for its style of humor, with the site's userbase seemingly permanently stuck in the year 2012, its culture never evolving past it as was custom among the other corners of the internet. Furthering their notoriety was the world-famous 9GAG Meme Rock, which to this day strikes cringe in the hearts of even the most unflinching souls. Yet how many had dared open the website for themselves?
The answer, surprisingly, is very few. Though it had remained in plain view for many years, its existence was thoroughly ignored for the large part by the general public. It was not until the mod team of 69MoeLester420 jokingly created accounts for the website in January 2023 that its secrets would finally be unveiled. What they discovered was a website so horrid, so appalling, yet so endlessly fascinating it had remained their obsession for many months afterwards. It was all it was described as and more, an endless stream of racist content presented in formats that had gone out of fashion a decade prior, lacking any and all self-awareness, combined with a userbase in their 30s so mentally dense it is surprising they haven't collapsed into a black hole.
Any post, no matter how obviously satirical, passes as genuine in the eyes of a 9GAGGER, to the point where one has to question their own sanity, weighing whether their mannerisms are all part of a conspiratorial ploy, for there was no possible way a functioning human being could get that irrationally mad over such obvious bait. A Tony Zaret skit come to life, it is of no surprise that the mod team started pushing the limits of what they'll fall for, always managing to attain a successful result.
Come the SwagBalls-69MoeLester420 Merge, the knowledge of what was found on 9GAG was suddenly shared with an audience of hundreds. Though it has largely fallen out of fashion, trolling on 9GAG had become a staple hobby of 69SwagBalls420 when it was first introduced. With dozens, if not hundreds of posts shared, a large dataset has been created showing many successes and failures that may enable the development of more sophisticated trolling methods in the future.
The table below contains information on "successful" 9GAG posts: those that reached at least 100 downvotes or 25 comments. This resource should be used to determine more effective trolling strategies.
Account | Title | Category | Upvotes | Downvotes | Comments | Tags | Time Posted | Date Posted | URL |
---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
dankchungus | "Sex scfa sxe scex sex sxe sce sexs esex sxex sexex sex sxe sexe ex sex follow bruh funny for more epic bruh memes ?" | ??? | 4 | 170 | 9 | dank, epic, swag | 18:40 UTC | January 17 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aWGj0j6 |
dankchungus | "Boy if this was real I would not want to swim in the ocean 😂" | ??? | 2 | 176 | 7 | 69swagballs420, politics, anime | 11:15 UTC | April 23 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aXnV19z |
dankchungus | "NOT for insta"normies", onyl the dsnkest 9gaggetd wil get this😂😂😂" | ??? | 4 | 228 | 13 | marvel, 69swagballs420, savage | 11:45 UTC | April 23 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aeQZwbB |
dankchungus | "Mr. Sex and me are getting e-married on 9GAG today! 🥰 This is the happiest day of my life! 😍 Send us your best wishes in the comments below! ☺️" | ??? | 10 | 63 | 28 | gaming, politics, 69swagballs420 | 19:15 UTC | April 27 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aKEWqe3 |
dankchungus | "LO L😂 haha this comic strop is so hilarious it gve me qite the chukcle haha i jus watned to share it with yuo guyd as i m sur yu will apprecirte i5 i m sory for an y spell ibg mistake s im high on meth rn" | ??? | 15 | 359 | 15 | 69swagballs420, funny, dark humor | 13:40 UTC | May 4 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aZDQRyz |
dankchungus | "Guybs is thi reall??? cold afam samson be an epicc 9gager lik us?? i thin this 8mage is rel butt wat do u thinkk??🤔🤔🤔" | ??? | 13 | 196 | 26 | funny, dark humor, art | 15:30 UTC | May 13 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aBdEg7N |
dankchungus | "Haha this "meme" my husband sent me today really cracks me up! so many things wrong with socuety today... and to any "lob"erals who get offended by this ... you can flip the H*LL off!! 😂😂😂" | Humor | 16 | 79 | 26 | woke, politics, funny | 16:50 UTC | July 22 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/armzogK |
dankchungus | "Goodbye guys" | Latest News | 82 | 93 | 57 | funny, meme, dank | 13:45 UTC | July 23 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aNw3p43 |
dankchungus | "Whoever did this won the internet😂😂😂" | Memes | 415 | '386'Bold text | 31 | politics, dark humor, joe biden | 21:50 UTC | July 26 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/axo4RmK |
dankchungus | "Hah i dontt know if yuo youngsrters will be abld to relat to this but it gave me a chuckle hope you fine folkss appreacheated 😁 time used to be so mucch difefent back ij the day hah noww yuo cant even asualyt yuour wif witout a libural snowflakr getting offened can we go backt" | Humor | 3 | 96 | 24 | funny, humor, relatable | 12:30 UTC | August 17 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/a4orpZA |
dankchungus | "Whoopsie 😅 mad a bitof a mess in the kittche ntoday who knew gruond beef was so proen to spontaneous explosions haha only in ohio dose anyon knoww hwo to cleann thi up???" | WTF | 12 | 314 | 60 | accident, wtf, omg, ukraine, funny | 19:40 UTC | September 15 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aDYqR0x |
dankchungus | "So my dog (golden retriever) just did this 😅 i have guests coming over in an hour so erm... this is totally awkward ! such playful animals haha" | Wholesome | 18 | 190 | 24 | dog, golden retriever, wholesome meme, awesome, epic fail | 09:45 UTC | September 16 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aBdbREx |
dankchungus | "The george soros funded deep (do NOT read this word backwards) state does not want you to know this, SHARE and REPOST BEFORE IT GETS REMOVED‼️ DISGUSTED TO SEE WHAT JO BIDET IS DOING TO THIS BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY!! 🤢 stay safe my fellow amerircan PATRIQTS!! 🇱🇷 god bless 🙏" | WTF | 14 | 85 | 35 | conspiracy, politics, usa, george soros, donald trump | 18:30 UTC | September 19 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aWGe1ZA |
dankchungus | "A fate worse than hell awaita all those that wish to abandon godd..m good people of 9gagg... do not let this jappen to yuo or your chidlren..." | Latest News | 20 | 83 | 42 | islam, god, truth, atheist, donald trump | 16:55 UTC | October 12 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/anz3EmL |
dankchungus | "Praise be to allah 🙏🙏🙏 our onr true savior!! found on my estranged son's computter..(he died from a heroin overdoes last year)... the videegam "forknite" has completly corupted his soul... do not bel LIKR HIM!!! turn off yuor computr bfero this cosumes yuo as well..." | WTF | 6 | 142 | 17 | gaming, islam, religion, sad, wtf | 06:25 UTC | October 17 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aeQEBXv |
dankchungus | "The fall of man is nearr😍 cant belive its only veen a few thousan years sinc ethe start of human civillizatio haha weve all grown so mucm...what are yuor planns for the day of reckoning?" | Wholesome | 17 | 82 | 38 | wholesome meme, funny, awesome, satisfying, oddly satisfying | 10:00 UTC | October 19 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/anzZeeV |
69mr_sex420 | "On ly trie memrrs eoll get it ! 😸🤭🤣😆😅😂😂😆😹😹🤣😸😸🤣😹😆😆😂😂😂😆😹🤣😸🤭🤭😸🤣😹😆😅😂😂😅😆😹🤭🤭😸😸🤣🤣😹😹😆😆😆😅😅😅😂😂😅😅😆😆😹🤣🤣😸😸🤭🤭😸🤣😹😆😆😂😂😅😆😹🤣😸🤭🤭🤭😸🤣😆😅😂😂😅😸😸😸🤭🤭😸🤣" | ??? | 8 | 106 | 3 | dank, meme, dark humor | 15:20 UTC | May 23 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aoKLmd2 |
indianfurryyiff | "I LOVE PEARS O WANT TO EAT THEM, NOM JOL NOM YUMMY 🥵🥵😋😋😋😋😛😛😛😛🤩🤩🤩🤩" | ??? | 13 | 117 | 34 | dank, politics, health | 20:30 UTC | April 3 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aNwvpYw |
dankchungus | "Haha my second cousin(once removed) sent me thus on "facebooks"?, i just knew i'd have yo sharve it with my friends on 9gag! whoe else can relate?😂😂" | WTF | 19 | 135 | 31 | meme of the year, dank, funny, chainsaw man, woodcutting memes | 09:35 UTC | December 18 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aQEW2bd |
realtrigs | "'Sick, twisted, vile and deranged' these companies are all run by transgender jihadists who perform woke mind virus experiments on innocent puppies. We took down Sweet Baby Inc. We can take down these freaks! 9GAG Assemble!" | WTF | 15 | 67 | 37 | politics, gaming, sad, latest news, woke | 17:10 UTC | March 19 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/adByqRD |
realtrigs | "PLEASE aid in fight aganst woke normbrains by adding epicsauce 9GAG watermajk to your danke memes!" | WTF | 13 | 80 | 26 | meme, scary, woke, politics, latest news | 14:45 UTC | March 17 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/ajPQ65g |
realtrigs | "Financial wisdom for those of yuo who must become good spenders and wise in the economy. . . never stop tha grind!! 💯" | Sports | 16 | 112 | 22 | gaming, random, awesome, latest news, econony | 18:00 UTC | February 14 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/amAj8j6 |
realtrigs | "How Europoids measure things. An utterly deranged people and culture!" | WTF | 148 | 165 | 59 | 2024, wtf, insane, usa, 9gag den deutschen | 19:35 UTC | January 31 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/aoKb5ZX |
realtrigs | "I made this epic and danke meme to celebrate the passing of yet another very good year! Praise be! God bless yuo 9GAG!!" | Memes | 54 | 255 | 94 | new year, funny, meme, savage, dark humor | 14:05 UTC | December 31 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aeQnQeB |
realtrigs | "Hello all of 9GAG, please look upon this meme I have made. It certainly is a true and accurate portrait that I have created to show the dumb and quite foolish millennials and other rot-brained youths how to live properly! Please! If you are young and foolish, do not waste money!" | Humor | 170 | 320 | 101 | japan, meme, savage, latest news, women | 15:10 UTC | January 4 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/adPGR02 |
realtrigs | "Improtant Reminder to those of yuo fool enough to watch thw woke and mainstream media!" | Latest News | 196 | 139 | 30 | dark humor, meme, politics, wtf, basketball | 15:50 UTC | January 9 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/a3Z6VWv |
realtrigs | "Inportant imformation that I am have found for all of yuo young and foolworthy 9GAG users on the website of X by Elon Musk! Very concernin! Millions must view!" | Latest News | 12 | 54 | 34 | wtf, latest news, politics, woke, new world order | 15:55 UTC | January 12 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/az2nV6B |
realtrigs | "It is only the facts that I am bringing before you that I brig before you~ Sad may it be, but europoids could never live life peacefully among the Americans!" | Memes | 56 | 59 | 50 | latest news, politics, usa, dark humor, savage | 15:20 UTC | January 20 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/a8qZwP1 |
realtrigs | "Me with me soyn: 🤣" | Relationships and Dating | 88 | 103 | 17 | unexpected, dark humor, face, meme, yy lmao | 18:10 UTC | January 26 2024 | https://9gag.com/gag/avQNbEZ |
realtrigs | "Hi memers. I have made and created this hearfelt meme after a very long and quite bad and sad conservation with a close family member. Feeling down today :(" | Memes | 8 | 88 | 50 | dark humor, savage, meme, politics, germany | 15:40 UTC | October 7 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aME6jKV |
realtrigs | "This One Made Me "Lol" As The Ones Who Are Still The Kids Are So Very Fond Of Liking To Say!" | Memes | 783 | 196 | 31 | awesome, funny, meme, dark humor, 9gag news | 15:25 UTC | October 10 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/a6qzDG2 |
realtrigs | "It's OVER christchads... They are gone to WOKE" | Memes | 12 | 140 | 41 | meme, dark humor, savage, woke, disney | 15:20 UTC | October 22 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/ago9q41 |
realtrigs | "I hate athetists so mcuh it is unrrwal" | Memes | 41 | 218 | 80 | meme, woke, dark humor | 18:00 UTC | August 1 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/a3Zn9Ee |
realtrigs | "When u get it: you will shit brick!" | Memes | 65 | 1747 | 139 | meme of the year, christmas, meme, star wars, yugoslavia | 20:30 UTC | December 18 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/a3ZXNje |
realtrigs | "What if Elon Musk Was Video Game?" | Gaming | 35 | 67 | 27 | awesome, meme, meme of the year, wtf, chris hemsworth | 19:50 UTC | December 14 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aZDODn9 |
realtrigs | "Yuor pron addict is: damn 9GAGGEr is: come her boy: is danke emem! True Memeland is: overrun by normas. It is: so over." | Memes | 4 | 101 | 10 | abrupt chaos, tetten, girl, meme, scary | 15:40 UTC | December 14 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aGE4z47 |
realtrigs | "I AM Sick and TIRED of "woke Disney" bulls**t!! No "anime" is good or godly and those who think as such are no more than small-minded children. Now lets get this thing viral 9GAG!" | Memes | 8 | 163 | 59 | politics, palestine, dark humor, movie, girl celebrity | 14:10 UTC | October 24 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/adPA5zB |
realtrigs | "My true and honest confession:" | Memes | 1473 | 457 | 431 | awesome, 9gag, politics, dark humor, savage | 15:10 UTC | September 20 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/anz05vB |
realtrigs | "You did it 9GAG! F**k you tomorrow! 😀" | Memes | 49 | 287 | 99 | meme, latest news, 9gag | 15:10 UTC | August 16 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aA0moZR |
realtrigs | "Haha... there must have been a reason for all this once" | Memes | 26 | 83 | 33 | help, meme, the woke left | 19:50 UTC | August 6 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/aOxj04N |
realtrigs | "Really "LOLed" at this ! One .I hate cops" | Memes | 294 | 105 | 12 | meme, dark humor, funny | 16:50 UTC | August 4 2023 | https://9gag.com/gag/agodG5v |
Discussion
Additional Findings
[editor's note 18] -the 9gag baby -the 9gag racism scientific paper -abnormal amount of dutch people -meme coin
The 9GAG Wedding
The 9GAG Divorce
Built By Gamers
The Built By Gamers campaign is an active trolling campaign in the server for the famous YouTube shorts video game podcast BuiltByGamers. The campaign is mostly harmless, just SwagBallers taking the themes that the channel covers to the extreme. Mossfish, a member of SwagBalls was quite successful and even gained the attention and positive reaction from one of the hosts of the podcast. It is rumored that mossfish is now supplying the gamers with information for their videos.
Trivia
- Although girard is a registered Republican, he has floated around the idea of a potential Libertarian presidential run in 2024. While not officially announcing his candidacy yet, his popularity leaves a strong possibility of him being chosen at the Libertarian National Convention in May this year.
- Despite his libertarian leanings, he has also expressed support for Adolf Hitler several times, and frequently uses racial slurs. Was it all just "bait" or even "satire"? Unfortunately, nobody can tell because of Poe's law.
- There is an abandoned staff role "janitor" that is no longer used, yet it is still mentioned in the rules. Last known member with the role was Lin.
- The term Macromaniac Wars is a bastardization of the Marcomannic Wars, first uttered by Decoherence,[34] that subsequently entered popular use.
- The War... would most likely not happen if not for an unknown[editor's note 20] mod removing Charter's Soyjak Gold.
- Prior to November 8, 2023, greenies unknowingly had the perms to ping @everyone. This would be discovered by Flaming Testicle (left) who, wishing to post the entire server rules in order to further rot girard's brain, immediately reported this to Walter, who quickly removed the permissions. Such decisive action has possibly prevented an @everyone incident of nuclear proportions.
- It is unknown who gave greenies the perms to ping people, due to the limitations of the Discord audit log. As such, it is impossible to determine whether this was an accident or a case of purposeful tampering to undermine the server.
Users
Admins and Moderators
The Administrators of SwagCord and their Family Guy roleplay characters as of July 14, 2024:
- Meme_Alt_Account (Owner) - Joe Swanson
- Walter (Co-owner) - Chris Griffin
- bazinga - Peter Griffin
- Mr. Asex - Big Chungus
- Ozzy - Glenn Quagmire
- Ballistyx
- Decoherence - Homer Simpson from The Simpsons
- Lin
The Moderators of SwagCord:
- 3 CLAM - Japanese Megatron "Meg" Griffin
- mr2112
- local wizard, lee
Members with Family Guy roleplay access:
- Vibe (former mod, real) - Brian
- REFORGER[note 10] (former 69MoeLester420 admin)
- Drotos (former admin)
- Mjestik (KirbyCord owner and former server partner)
- local fungus - Roger from American Dad (former admin)
- samarm132 - Pouncy the Cat (former admin)
- ShibaInuHat (former mod)
- Kelpwave - Cleveland Brown (former mod)
- Rah (former mod)
- Monolyne - Lois (former mod)
Certified Swag Ballers
A Certified Swag Baller is a user of 69SwagBalls420 who has been given a yellow role by an administrator as a result of active participation on the server. Below is an incomplete list of Certified Swag Ballers.
- YEETmaster69
- Lolpy
- Boris Chico
- Alexandra
- Vibe (real)
- GotAnyGrapes
- blank
- nowhed
- The_Mek
- Taistelulaama
- MEAT EFFIGY
- acegikm
- penguincakes
- biz1005
- caseu.
- normanthemormon
- cetationnation
- Deez
- Mr2112
- goldfish
- diabhork
- poke0441
- k0g_
- bluraydisc_hd
- deejaythefirst
- aldydreg
- ANAL RAPER
- Backyard Lobotomizer
- centi_alt_account
- basedandwrenpilled
- badusermythril
- szuhat
- brou9073
- kiwisoul
- KumStrike
- Linchpin
- rh_4m
- mayday117
- mr.gthestoopid
- Nae
- Narwhalpilot
- Petzah394
- raimonmaasiirto
- kumquat1
- sillysk1ppy
- superswag
- koknese
- Taistelulaama
- temmiez
- yttrium
- Polynera Marketing Solutions
Banned Users
Notable users who have been banned from 69SwagBalls420 are listed below.
- The Cockroach - banned for raiding
- ████████ (Tiktokker)
- ██████ (Instanormie)
- Mahmoud - banned for intolerance
- Hartson
- Nightshade
- Hartson
- Nae - banned for intolerance
- Kiwisoul
- Devil
Notes
- ↑ Short for Megatron.
- ↑ Girard is a self-proclaimed conservative libertarian and a strong supporter of Ronald Reagan.
- ↑ Again, he is a libertarian.
- ↑ And yet, after what was done to girard, could any SwagBaller be considered innocent?
- ↑ Moderators.
- ↑ Admins.
- ↑ There will be absolutely no venting on this server anywhere. #serious-discussion will only be for discussions.
- ↑ The main language of this server is English. So please, only speak in english.
- ↑ Due to 9GAG's limits on aspect ratios, the artwork was surrounded by some of the greatest comments found on the website during the past year.
- ↑ 10.0 10.1 Previously known as koonsbmw.
- ↑ Or fortunately, depending on one's viewpoint.
- ↑ If someone genuinely tells you that your jokes make them uncomfortable, no matter how ironic, you should stop making them immediately.
- ↑ A direct reference to his Reddit username, u/████████████████, combined with the term "Orwellian", referring to the work of novelist George Orwell.
- ↑ Representing 1.9% of the total population.
- ↑ A coalition between the SwagBalls Democratic Party and the Lininist Party for Democracy and Freedom.
- ↑ Fighting a ban imposed by rule 2.5.
- ↑ /s, /j, /srs and the like.
- ↑ Despite complaints, independent fact-checkers have found no bias in this statement.
- ↑ Including Charter, who ran as a non-partisan representative of the LSSU.
- ↑ Due to a lack of voter activity, this has been shortened to 27 hours.
- ↑ DISRESPECT. Insulting or demeaning another user is a third degree offense. If you feel that you are being harrassed, consider DMing a moderator about it so that action may be taken.
- ↑ ENCOURAGING SUICIDE OR SELF-HARM. Encouraging suicide or self-harm, even telling people to "kys" as a joke, is a second degree offense.
- ↑ 23.0 23.1 HARRASSMENT. Ongoing harassment of any user is a second degree offense and may be met with a ban after review by the mod team.
- ↑ Harassment has been redefined to include only serious cases, such as online stalking, spamming DMs and continued insults that go beyond the usual server banter.
- ↑ BIGOTRY. Posting bigoted content is a first degree offense.
- ↑ According to the vice-swagsident, with the leaving and recent inactivity of certain users, the issue has resolved itself by now. The mission has been deemed accomplished by the executive.
- ↑ By new law, Homestuck has been permitted in #🏠-mental-asylum only.
- ↑ As votes were anonymous as part of the closed-ballot election, it is unlikely this promise will ever come to fruition.
- ↑ Vice-president LarKcuavian was believed to possess more executive permissions than actually present.
- ↑ Walter and LarKc.
- ↑ Link should lead to the SwagBalls wiki, not Walter's user page
- ↑ Chauka (NSP) and Xertun (I) abstained.
- ↑ The Senate has de facto been used for any purpose the senators wished since inception regardless.
- ↑ The unbiased nature of this poll has been disputed by independent critics.
- ↑ Representing 1.65% of the total population.
- ↑ With support for vice-presidency from Shitmaster LarKcuavian.
- ↑ Chauka's account, which was shared with Walter. It was never registered to vote.
- ↑ Dainis's account, which he admitted owning. It was registered to vote.
- ↑ A suspicious account that returned after weeks of inactivity. The profile picture showed Tony Zaret, whom Dainis is a fan of. It was registered to vote.
- ↑ A suspicious account that returned after weeks of inactivity. Its username is similar in humor to the previous account. It was registered to vote.
- ↑ A suspicious account that returned after months of inactivity. While active, it spent its time giving money to Dainis in the #🤑-gambling channel. It was registered to vote.
- ↑ An account created in reference to the user ANAL RAPER, who has become a SwagCord urban legend due to his unconventional name. The account's knowledge of the server's inside jokes served as proof of it belonging to a server member. The account having Puffy, the mascot of the OpenBSD operating system, served as proof of it (plausibly) belonging to Dainis. It was registered to vote.
- ↑ An account that cropped up in the server during The War... A reference to the Boom Pregnant meme, the account's knowledge of the server's inside jokes served as proof of it belonging to a server member. It was registered to vote.
- ↑ An account confirmed to belong to Dainis, referencing the centre-right latvian party https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Unity New Unity (Jaunā Vienotība)]. Although pitted immediately, it rejoined the server in the same time frame as the previous accounts. It was never registered to vote.
- ↑ 2.3. THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT: The office of the president is composed of two democratically elected members; the president and the vice president. The user with the highest percentage of the vote is president. The president and the vice president must represent a combined total of at least 50% of the vote.
References
- ↑ ███████ (December 26, 2023): "haiiiiiiiii 69swagballs420cord :3 I am writing this to let you all know that we have officially merged with █████ ███ so yeah, have a good day or night or whatever :3". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #❗-announcements. Link
- ↑ Nae (September 17, 2023): "The butthole bandit has taken over". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜
- ↑ Bazinga (September 17, 2023): "i saw who it was". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜
- ↑ Bazinga (December 8, 2023): "Why is girard almost indistinguishable from a regular swagcord user". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜
- ↑ Bazinga (November 7, 2023): "Now it’s just poking at gen ai like a deranged animal". KirbyCord #kurk
- ↑ girard (November 6, 2023): "THEY DIE BECAUSE ANY AI DIDN'T WE CANNOT COMPREHEND IT ONCE I WOULDN'T EVEN WORSE, BOTH!". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜. Link
- ↑ girard (November 6, 2023): "TESTING TO KILL JOE BIDEN". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜. Link
- ↑ (November 15, 2023) Readout of President Joe Biden’s Meeting with President Xi Jinping of the People’s Republic of China The White House.
- ↑ (November 16, 2023) President Xi Jinping Meets with U.S. President Joe Biden The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the People's Republic of China.
- ↑ 10.0 10.1 (November 16, 2023) Five things we learned from the Biden-Xi meeting BBC.
- ↑ (February 6, 2023) U.S. fighter jet shoots down suspected Chinese spy balloon Reuters.
- ↑ (February 22, 2024) China plans to send San Diego Zoo more pandas this year, reintroducing panda diplomacy Associated Press.
- ↑ Michaelanthony (January 23, 2023) R U Ready 4 Ze New World Order? (Klaus Schwab Deepfake Music Video w/lyrics) Youtube.
- ↑ girard (November 22, 2023): "PANDORA IS GIRARDT". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🔪-girards-torture-chamber. Link
- ↑ 15.0 15.1 Walter (December 5, 2023 - December 7, 2023): "The War - A Timeline". 69SwagBalls420 #🏛-swagballs-historical-society
- ↑ 16.0 16.1 16.2 According to an official report published by the Revolutionary leadership.
- ↑ JazzyMason8 (December 4, 2023): "It was always unfunny and gross". KirbyCord #kurk
- ↑ Walter (January 18, 2024) It's been an amazing year here on 9GAG. So many wonderful people I've met here... But all good things must come to an end. After 265 days of blissful marriage, I am divorcing my 9GAG husband Mr. Asex. A big thanks to everyone who has accompanied us on this journey. God bless! 🙏 9GAG.
- ↑ Of "No emojies you canser" fame. Despite his promise to appear on the day of the divorce, most were doubtful of it happening. blomst12 (December 24, 2023) @69swagballs420 on my way fam 9GAG. Contrary to all expectations, he showed up to the divorce. blomst12 (January 20, 2024) @dankchungus sorry to hear that fam. I'm here for the next time you need me! 9GAG.
- ↑ Decoherence (January 27, 2024): "1984 police state until people learn to be nice to each other". 19SwagBalls84 #admin-family-guy-roleplay
- ↑ Decoherence (February 20, 2024): "barley is the only active user I'd trust with mod right now". 19SwagBalls84 #admin-family-guy-roleplay
- ↑ Koknese (March 4, 2024):
guys let's just create a swagballs political party
- it will eradictae irl political discussion
- it's fun
- we get to do stuff
69SwagBalls420 Cord #🔪-girards-torture-chamber. - ↑ Koknese (March 8, 2024): JOIN SSBP, FIGHT FOR SSBP! 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🤬-ssbp.
- ↑ Chauka (March 12, 2024): the basic beliefs of the SDP are ones of freedom of expression while retaining an enjoyable experience 69SwagBalls420 Cord #😺-sdp-↓↓↓.
- ↑ Shitmaster LarKcuavian (March 13, 2024): "Decided to remove the anti-minor part of the demands, as I can't find a good way to implement that" 69SwagBalls420 Cord #👁-tbpwifs.
- ↑ Walter (March 13, 2024): "The Party has officially dissolved the People's Parliament and has announced that elections will be held on Sunday, March 17. Televised debates between the highest-polling candidates will occur on March 14 and March 16. Long live SwagCord! Long live the Party! Long live Big Brother!" 69SwagBalls420 Cord #❗-announcements.
- ↑ Lin (March 13, 2024), in response to "slightly altered sdp": "but I'm the one in power instead" 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🌐-lpdf.
- ↑ "@Walter the ssbp, the sdp, and the lpdf have officially merged into the SSU (swagballs shartyist union)" 69SwagBalls420 Cord #⭐-patriot-chat.
- ↑ Koknese (March 14, 2024), in response to "Do you think segregation is wrong?":
"no it is morally correct
depending on who you segregate" 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🤓-debate-channel. - ↑ Charter (March 14, 2024): "[...] i’ve been making consistent effort to convey my political endeavors and move toward something equitable for all people, koknese has been holding me back with his radical beliefs. i honestly wanted to kick him out for a while. this is what the SSBP was created to be. not what koknese bastardized it into" 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🤓-debate-channel.
- ↑ EasyPoll (March 17, 2024) SwagBalls March 2024 Election Results Discord.
- ↑ Koknese (March 19, 2024) We the People 69SwagBalls420 Cord #❗-announcements.
- ↑ (March 4, 2024) Did the Cockroach raid the SwagBalls Minecraft server? Snopes.
- ↑ Decoherence (November 15, 2023): "Girard will abolish society and begin a new age of mindless violence: the macromaniac wars!". 69SwagBalls420 Cord #🔪-girards-torture-chamber. Link
Editor's Notes (remove this later)
- ↑ find girard's original aliases, apparently was called hitler at first
- ↑ https://discord.com/channels/936042159998631976/936407183304822795/1214675991256104970 start here - Walt
- ↑ Missing Context.
- ↑ need a section on methcord, maybe in ongoing campaigns - Walt
- ↑ may actually be third or fourth coming, although the previous ones were mostly unnotable apart from a couple of n-word incidents (check around march 28 for one of them), add details in the first section on girard - Walt
- ↑ add note about references from Vibe and others about the War... many months prior to the event - Walt
- ↑ Walter here, I'll try to find the specific reason, you will be satisfied with 3rd degree chuddery in the meantime. I believe it had to do with the bullying of greenies.
- ↑ At this point I'm just leaving these as a reminder for myself. -Walt
- ↑ Honestly can't remember, did we remove people's messages or is this just the usual literally 1984? -Walt
- ↑ I can't find anything by just searching this up, may be a misquote, I'll find an actual slogan to put into the quotes (I'm sure there's bound to be something) -Walt
- ↑ the word "allegedly" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. it happened. -Walt
- ↑ 12.0 12.1 12.2 Missing story.
- ↑ Link should lead to the SwagBalls wiki, not Walter's user page
- ↑ Representing approximately 1.3% of the total population. Due to an error in creating the election poll, non-registered voters were allowed to vote. It is unlikely that the results were majorly affected.
- ↑ Link should lead to the SwagBalls wiki, not Walter's user page
- ↑ thinking of giving all the ongoing campaigns a military operation name - Walt
- ↑ NEEDED: negative counterexamples of posts that haven't performed well at all for discernably no reason. Survivorship bias must be avoided in order to fully know how to exploit the app's algorithm
- ↑ expand upon these later
- ↑ Move the 9gag Divorce here? or maybe keep both as part of main article
- ↑ Walt here, I'll try to find which one exactly did this.