Editing 69SwagBalls420 (section)

=== The Macromaniac Wars ===

==== The Prophecy ====
{{Quote|''''PANDORA IS GIRARDT<ref>{{Cite message|author='''girard'''|date=November 22, 2023|content=PANDORA IS GIRARDT|server=69SwagBalls420 Cord|channel='''🔪-girards-torture-chamber'''|link=https://discord.com/channels/938728183203758080/1171575756695019665/1176661251091337227}}</ref>'''|Girard}}[[File:Thermwars.jpeg|thumb|'''girard''' calls back to his prophecy on November 24, strengthening the belief that thermonuclear war would take place on '''December 8'''.|214x214px]]The man of metal speaks in riddles. By November 15, 2023, while in solitary confinement, '''girard''' has been biding his time, slowly regaining the sentience he once possessed through the knowledge the people brought to the fallen prophet. As the messages gradually started to take on more meaning, '''girard'''<nowiki/>'s popularity as the server comedian hit an ever-high spike. Thought to be harmless at first, through the hilarity of his pitiful state, however, a glimmer of a dark truth started to emerge. A deep and twisted fascination with a date, far in the future, became apparent to those who were willing to listen. '''December 8'''. Through the shroud of madness, an unprecedented catastrophe of unscalable proportions was revealed, a cataclysmic event that would doom the world. The '''Macromaniac Wars'''.<ref group="editor's note">add note about references from Vibe and others about '''the War...''' many months prior to the event - '''Walt'''</ref>

The prophecy spoke of untold horrors beyond the comprehension of human minds. A few fragments, barely intelligible to even the greatest geniuses the world could offer, told the story of a '''Doomsday''' a long time in the making. Nuclear bombs, man's creation, the mortal race that had so arrogantly believed themselves to be able to subdue the ruler of this world, would ravage the ground, innocent<ref group="note">And yet, after what was done to '''girard''', could any '''SwagBaller''' be considered innocent?</ref> blood soak the soil, painting it deep red, and nothing again would sprout from the salted earth, barren and empty, ready to be molded by the '''Great One'''. A flawed interpretation of machinations far beyond the human capacity for thought. No man knows the day or the hour. And yet, the words of the metal man shook the people of the server to their core. '''God''' '''save us all.'''

==== Signs of Revolt ====
On December 3, the first signs of rebellion were observed. Was this a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy or were these true visions of the future is a matter still debated upon. The leadership of '''69SwagBalls420''' took notice of the growing '''girardian Revolutionary Movement''' within its borders, and sensed that a coup was imminent.

The protests all began from a single member, '''Charter''', losing his '''Soyjak Gold''' role for an ''unknown reason''<ref group="editor's note">'''Walter''' here, I'll try to find the specific reason, you will be satisfied with '''3rd degree chuddery''' in the meantime. I believe it had to do with the bullying of '''greenies'''.</ref>, being executed by an ''unknown staff member that we do not know the name of''<ref group="editor's note">At this point I'm just leaving these as a reminder for myself. -'''Walt'''</ref>. They soon escalated as '''Koknese''' started rallying up popular support and asking mods to give him his role back, which was met by suppression<ref group="editor's note">Honestly can't remember, did we remove people's messages or is this just the usual '''literally 1984'''? -'''Walt'''</ref> from the '''mod team'''. Later '''Koknese''' and '''Charter''' called upon the '''greenies''', persuading them with slogans such as "united as one against the mods"<ref>{{Cite message|author=Charter|date=December 3, 2023|content='we are uniting as one', 'against the mods', 'for the wealth of all people'|channel=🏴-revolutionary-encampment|link=https://discord.com/channels/938728183203758080/1180957923069919412/1180962888190541945}}</ref><ref group="editor's note">I can't find anything by just searching this up, may be a misquote, I'll find an actual slogan to put into the quotes (I'm sure there's bound to be something) -'''Walt'''</ref>, etc.

Armed forces and popular support against the rebellion were quickly mobilized,<ref name=":2">{{Cite message|author='''Walter'''|date=December 5, 2023 - December 7, 2023|content=The War - A Timeline|server=69SwagBalls420|channel='''🏛-swagballs-historical-society'''}}</ref> but the measures were unable to control the emerging threat. Within hours, the server was soon almost completely polarized between the '''Loyalist''' and '''Revolutionary''' factions, the former fighting to uphold the status quo, and the latter revolting against the '''mod team''', demanding change and - unacceptable to the '''mods''' - '''greenie''' rights.
[[File:Revolutionaryflagswag.png|thumb|207x207px|The '''Revolutionary''' flag, designed by '''Koknese'''.]]
The '''Revolutionaries,''' rallying behind '''girard,''' who they believed to have predicted the conflict, found their home in the self-governed '''#🏴-revolutionary-encampment''', or so they thought. Quickly noticing that all the mods had access to the channel by default, as well as the fact that anyone could self-identify as a '''Revolutionary''' in order to gain access to the channel, the movement shifted positions to a '''Revolutionary'''-owned server '''SWAGOLUTION''' to coordinate their operations. General '''Charter''' was ultimately elected to lead the movement. 
[[File:PouSwag.jpg|left|thumb|155x155px|A '''Loyalist''' fighter holding the newly designed national flag days before fighting would break out.]]
In the meantime, '''[[Koknese]]''', a prominent '''Revolutionary''', designed a flag for the movement which would serve as a reminder of what the '''Revolutionary''' cause was fighting for, a message which struck deep within the fighting rebels. Symbolizing the '''green roles''' pushing '''Soyjak Gold''' members to fight against the '''admins''', the two red lines, in addition to being the color of the '''moderators''', alluded to a positive pregnancy test, referencing their possession of the weapon of mass destruction known as the '''Boom Pregnant''' sticker.

Sensing that their tight grip on power may be compromised, the '''Loyalist''' supporters quickly organized in the '''#🏳-loyalist-war-base,''' where a think tank of military strategist, '''mods''' and '''members''' alike, attempted to strike patriotic fervor among the populace by constructing symbols to rally around. Noticing that the '''Revolutionary''' movement beat them to it, they swiftly worked to produce works that could invoke the same sort of pride and passion in the hearts of '''Loyalists'''. Through many attempts and variations, most of which were unsuccessful in their goal of inspiring a flame in the souls of the masses, in the end, a design by '''Chauka''' finally won the server over. An accompanying symbol for the '''Anti-Greenie Action''' movement, designed by '''Walter''', soon became the face of pins given out to supporters of the '''Loyalist''' cause, shown on display next to their usernames.<gallery>
File:Flag0.webp|The first flag of the '''Loyalist''' movement, designed by '''Chauka.''' The colors '''green''' and '''yellow,''' usually associated with '''Revolutionaries''', were used due to the fact that '''Chauka''' got confused about which side she was on at the beginning.
File:SwagLoyalistFlagVariant1.png|The second '''Loyalist''' flag variant, designed by '''Walter,''' uses the colors yellow, red and cyan, representing the '''swag members''', '''mods''' and '''admins''' respectively.
File:FlagVariant2.png|The third variant of the '''Loyalist''' flag, introduced by '''Devil''', responsible for the addition of '''Daredevil''', and '''Mossfish''', who added the '''T-rex''', both of whom felt that the second variant didn't have enough cool stuff on it.
File:SwagLoyalistFlagVariant3.png|The fourth variant of the '''Loyalist''' movement, designed by '''Devil''', employing the Xbox logo in the middle, was ultimately rejected for being too '''British'''.
File:Flag of the swagballs loyalists.png|Final flag design ultimately used by the '''Loyalist Resistance,''' designed by '''Chauka'''.
File:Anti-Greenie-Action.png|The Anti-Greenie Action symbol, designed by '''Walter,''' ultimately became the main '''Loyalist''' rallying cry in the fight against their tyranny.
</gallery>

==== The First Skirmishes ====
{{Infobox
 | above   = The Battle of Mid
 | abovestyle   = background:#ccf;
 | autoheaders = y
 | headerstyle = background:lightgrey
 | labelstyle  = width:50% | border-left: 1px dotted #aaa
 | decat = no

 | header1 = Part of the early skirmishes of the '''Macromaniac Wars'''
 | label2 = Date |   data2 = December 5, 2023, 00:16-00:40 UTC±01:00 (24 minutes)
 | label3 = Location |   data3 = '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜'''
 | label4 = Result | data4 = '''Revolutionary''' victory
 
 | header5 = '''Belligerents'''
 | label6 = Loyalist Army |   data6 = '''Revolutionary forces'''
 
 | header7 = '''Commanders and leaders'''
 | label8 = 
• General Bazinga<br>• Commanding Officer Sam
 | data8 = 
• '''General Charter<br>• Colonel Testicles'''

 | header9 = '''Strength'''
 | label10 = 
5 active participants<br>
• 3 admins <br>• 1 mod <br>• 1 server booster
 |   data10 = 
''' 2 active participants<br>• 2 greenies'''
 
 | header11 = '''Casualties and losses'''
 | label12 = • 1200+ impregnated<br>• 3000+ wounded<br>• 174 swag givers<br>(official figures)<ref name=":3" /><br><br>• 2 impregnations <br>• 1 wounded <br>• no swags given<br>(modern estimates) |   data12 = '''• 600+ impregnated<br>• 2500+ wounded<br>• 63 swag givers<br>(official figures)<ref name=":3" /><br><br>• 2 wounded (modern estimates)'''

 | below = '''4 civilians wounded'''
 }}
In the early hours of the night, on December 5, the first conflict broke out in ⁠'''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜'''. Lasting several minutes, hundreds, if not thousands of stickers were deployed. After reportedly being fired at by '''Loyalist''' troops with '''explosive pregnancy ammunition''', '''Revolutionary''' leader general '''Charter''' returned fire.<ref name=":3">According to an official report published by the '''Revolutionary leadership'''.</ref> The battle soon escalated as commanding officer '''Sam,''' siding with the '''Loyalists''', ordered for reinforcements to be deployed, overwhelmed by the '''rebels'''. The '''rebels''', although small in number, compensated with their incredibly high rate of fire, challenging the '''Loyalist''' troops. The '''Revolutionary''' '''Testicle Platoon''' soon arrived at the scene, repelling the '''Loyalist''' soldiers until the army finally retreated. 

Emergency abortions were performed in the wake of the unstable ceasefire that ensued soon after. Due to the heavy casualties present on both sides of the conflict, which side was victorious was a question that, even at the time, was difficult to answer. Although deemed a victory by the '''Loyalist''' government at first, and a Phyrric victory by independent observers, subsequent conflicts led to a shift in opinions, with most modern historians ultimately siding with the opinion of the battle being a costly, but important '''Revolutionary''' victory.

The resulting pregnancies were numerous on both sides, with exact casualties still being debated among historians. Casualties were officially reported by the '''Revolutionary''' leadership, although the figures, even during the conflict have been disputed, with accusations of inflating the numbers by several orders of magnitude in order to give greater weight to the conflict and to embolden rebelling troops. While official figures cite more than 7.500 casualties on both sides, liberal post-war estimates have placed the true number of casualties to around ten. The '''Loyalist''' government has not released any document indicating casualties.

Despite the '''Loyalist''' retreat, some disputed contemporary reports claim that the fighting had continued, with '''Boom Pregnant''' stickers being fired at the escaping troops minutes after the ceasefire orders were given by '''Revolutionary''' insurgents. '''Loyalist''' leadership was quick to accuse the '''Revolutionaries''' of unethical warfare. These claims were disputed by the '''Revolutionary''' leadership, which did not deny the casualties, but stated that general '''Charter'''<nowiki/>'s weapon trigger had jammed and continued firing.<ref name=":2" /> As of 2024, the '''International Criminal Court''' is still in the process of investigation, following international calls for prosecution on the basis of charges of potential war crimes.

==== Operation Soft Grey Morning ====

==== The Divorce ====
[[File:Third way.png|left|thumb|220x220px|'''Koknese''' attempts to recruit '''Walter''' into the '''third way movement'''.]]
[[File:Walter Blocked.png|thumb|206x206px|At exactly 4:20, '''Walter''' was blocked on '''9GAG,''' no greater insult for a dank memer.]]
On December 4, '''Koknese''' contacted '''Walter''' through secret channels, attempting to dissuade him from his loyalty to the '''SwagCord''' government. To strengthen his attempt, he would bring '''Mr. Asex, Walter'''<nowiki/>'s '''9GAG''' husband, along with him. Taking a stand against '''Walter'''<nowiki/>'s oppressive goals, they were unable to make a dent in his stalwart loyalty to the status quo. Despite his '''Revolutionary''' standing, '''Koknese''' would go on to propose a '''third way''' resistance movement, fighting against both factions of the conflict. He was met with an endless wall of soyjaks. Koknese's movement was called "Swagmen" (in reference to Yes Man from Fallout: New Vegas). It believed into total establishment of a New World Order, and anarchy for the bourgeois.

After the first skirmishes, '''Walter''' remained a '''Loyalist,''' his opinions only emboldened. Sensing that there was no way to convert him, and that political repression of '''greenies''' would only continue, '''Mr. Asex''' decided to press sanctions and blocked him on '''9GAG'''. In the eyes of '''Walter''', this was an unforgivable sin. Asking for a divorce, the couple decided to host it on '''9GAG,''' where it all began, on '''Walter'''<nowiki/>'s one-year account anniversary. Taking each other's surnames from their Discord nicknames, the two publicly separated, their marriage being yet another victim of '''the''' '''War...'''

'''The Ceasefire'''


The '''Ten Grievances''' were as follows:

# The unjustified and discriminatory change of "'''@member'''" to "'''@greenie👎'''"
# the revocation of '''Gold''' to those who’ve rightly Earned
# The Imprisonment of his Excellence '''Girard'''
# The people are not permitted to take part in '''Family Guy Roleplay'''
# The Moderation and Administration clearly have no Self control and as a result, the only way for a Majority Rule to Succeed when it is against the '''Reds'''<ref group=note>Moderators.</ref> and '''Blues''',<ref group=note>Admins.</ref> is when the '''Greens''' and '''Golds''' stand in mass Solidarity.
# Choices are hardly ever Democratically made
# many times a '''Member''' who is not Breaking any rules is unfairly Punished merely because they did something out of the '''mod'''’s Preference
# the Censorship filter is Excessive, to the point where Normal, Non Political conversation can be censored due to using a certain word. this is especially prevalent when talking about history.
# Some rules are unnecessary and should be removed, namely '''rule 16'''<ref group=note>There will be absolutely no venting on this server anywhere. '''#⁠serious-discussion''' will only be for discussions.</ref> and '''17'''<ref group=note>The main language of this server is English. So please, only speak in english.</ref>.
# '''The Pit''' is used excessively by moderators as a form of punishment. [sic]

'''The War...'''

==== The Trial of Charter ====
Shortly after the war, Charter was pitted and put on trial for allegedly<ref group = "editor's note"> the word "allegedly" is doing a lot of heavy lifting. it happened. -'''Walt''' </ref> sending rape jokes. Spanning multiple weeks, the trial was held in discord an even in an actual [https://obejction.lol virtual courtroom]. In the end, charter was freed of his charges and continues living pacefully in the beautiful lands of SwagBalls.
<!--- Finish this one walt --->
<!--- ok i will :okcool: --->

==== The War and its Legacy ====
'''The War''' and the ultimate acquittal of '''Charter''' served as a landmark moment in the server's history. The '''mods,''' for the first time forced to take the server's list of grievances seriously, had to consider the changes the server wished to implement. As many of these changes would put the '''mods'''<nowiki/>' tight grip on power into jeopardy, careful planning was employed in order to avoid such a fate while quelling the rioting masses.

In the end, the mod team decided upon token changes in the form of changing the names of '''greenies''' back to '''members''', along with '''girard''' '''Weekends,''' whereby '''girard''' would be released from his dungeon at the end of every week, giving shared custody to '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜.''' Due to the '''mod team'''<nowiki/>'s inability to keep track of time, however, the name "weekends" remains purely advisory. And with that, the crisis was solved.

Many server members have found '''the War...''' to be childish, including members as notable as '''JazzyMason8''', the main victim of the '''Boom Pregnant campaign''', who thought the bit was unfunny from the beginning<ref>{{Cite message|author='''JazzyMason8'''|date=December 4, 2023|content=It was always unfunny and gross|server=KirbyCord|channel='''kurk'''}}</ref>, '''picklelord42''', even members of the '''mod staff'''. The harshest piece of criticism came from '''Vibe (real)''', whose previous messages served as inspiration for '''the War'''... in the first place. 

{{Quote|'''The War'''... thing used to be my thing... You know, there was like, people would come up to me and talk about '''the War'''... and I'd freak out, you know? Because '''the War'''... was brutal! And now '''Charter'''... '''Charter'''... gentrified it... he gentrified '''the War'''...! I'll never forgive him for that. Never!"|Vibe (real), ''in a message transmitted by radio.''}}

Too bad the server didn't give a swag. [[File:The War is Over.png|thumb|826x826px|'''Barley'''. ''Swaglandia Shall Rejoice!'', 2023, coloring pencil on paper. The drawing portrays the artist's rendition of the end of '''the War...''' From left to right: '''girard, John, Charter, Devil, Barley, Walter'''.]]
'''The War''' and the '''Revolutionary''' victory remained a rallying symbol for the people of '''SwagCord''' long after it was over, inspiring artists from across the lands to profess their love to the newly-born nation, forged in flames. The server artist '''Barley''' found great fame in the wake of the peace treaty, receiving 9 gems and a place on the starboard for their artwork and poem:<blockquote>Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas Tree

We will sing ever so joyfully!

The war is over, and fear is too;

We are ever so grateful for you!

Swag, oh Swaglandia is free!


Charter began a plot to revolutionize

Yet Walt did not like that thought

And brought a war to our eyes

Swag, oh Swag, save us from those lies.


Swag, oh Swag, by the Christmas Tree

We will sing ever so joyfully!

The war is over, and fear is too;

We are ever so grateful for you!


John went on a quest to save us all

Came back just before a fall

But Swaglandia's hopes remained

And now we all are saved!


Revolutionaries won,

And now we look into the sun

And see the shining days

For all days in Swaglandia are free!</blockquote>On December 22, the '''mod team''' was expanded, with '''Mossfish''' and '''Decoherence''' being brought onto the team, both '''Loyalists''' during the conflict. Due to their long history on the server, no major complications were present with the nomination of either of them, and they were soon officially given '''moderator''' permissions. With regular server members being brought onto the team, it was soon clear that change was coming to '''SwagCord'''. With complaints rising in '''#🚜-main-chat-🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜🚜,''' represented by '''Decoherence''' in '''#admin-family-guy-roleplay''', the authoritarian anti-political filter, mentioned in the '''Ten Grievances''', was put into question. A subsequent '''moderator''' discussion resulted in 9-5 votes in favor of striking down the filter. And it was so. 

'''Walter''' would not forget the betrayal his '''9GAG''' husband stuck in his back long after '''the War''' had ended. Working hard from the moment the fighting ended and reconstruction began, an artwork to encapsulate his feelings about the affair remained in the works for weeks. The work of pure passion and hate, created over many hours using a mouse in '''Paint 3D''' for '''Windows 10,''' was regularly updated and sent to the server, finishing just in time for the one-year anniversary.

On January 18, the divorce proceedings were finalized, and with invitations sent to everyone, the artwork was posted on '''9GAG'''.<ref>'''Walter''' (January 18, 2024) [https://9gag.com/gag/aZDewO6 It's been an amazing year here on 9GAG. So many wonderful people I've met here... But all good things must come to an end. After 265 days of blissful marriage, I am divorcing my 9GAG husband Mr. Asex. A big thanks to everyone who has accompanied us on this journey. God bless! 🙏] ''9GAG''.</ref><ref group=note>Due to '''9GAG'''<nowiki/>'s limits on aspect ratios, the artwork was surrounded by some of the greatest comments found on the website during the past year.</ref>
[[File:The 9GAG Divorce.png|center|thumb|1048x1048px|The public's reaction to the divorce. From left to right, top to bottom: '''Yttrium, Meme_Alt_Account, Bazinga, Chauka, Mossfish, Vibe, Yeetmaster, Decoherence, REFORGER'''<ref name=":4" group=note>Previously known as '''koonsbmw'''.</ref>''', Mr. Asex, Walter, blomst12'''<ref>Of "No emojies you canser" fame. 

Despite his promise to appear on the day of the divorce, most were doubtful of it happening. 

'''blomst12''' (December 24, 2023) [http://9gag.com/gag/aKEWqe3?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=reply_share#cs_comment_id=c_170342559072907243 @69swagballs420  on my way fam] ''9GAG''. 

Contrary to all expectations, he showed up to the divorce. 

'''blomst12''' (January 20, 2024) [http://9gag.com/gag/aZDewO6?utm_source=copy_link&utm_medium=reply_share#cs_comment_id=c_170574709093832765 @dankchungus sorry to hear that fam. I'm here for the next time you need me!] ''9GAG''.</ref>''', Charter, Flaming Testicle (left), Koknese.''']]